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My son (24) has schizophrenia

My son (24) has schizophrenia

This is my first post but i am desperate. My son J. (24) has been very unwell for years and diagnosed with all sorts of disorders (C-PTSC, OCD, severe Anxiety, eating disorder, etc) but it he has completely deteriorated last year and recently been diagnosed with schizophrenia. he has become very violent, abusive, obsessive compulsive, messy and unhygenic, etc the list could go on for ever... I have to live in fear every day waiting for the next episode to happen (usually on a daily basis). it is not safe for my other 2 children to live with us so we have to keep them apart which is even more heart breaking and very difficult to manage (my daughter is meant to be doing her HSC this year, is struggling hugely to focus and sleep, she also suffers from depression).

J. goes completely 'nuts' when hearing car noise, aeroplanes, machine noise as sensory overload seems to be the prevelant symtom and noise triggers most episodes. living in the city under the flight path is horrendous for him so we have to move to the country and leave the other kids behind. J. did so well at school and Uni, all his potential and future is lost and often i dont see any hope. The pain and exhaustion i am feeling is beyond words !!!! he refuses medical intervention (and meds) as previous doctor visits and hospital stays were more traumatic than were of any help. i am in so much despair seeing him deteriorate and losing his sanity on a regular basis (he talks and walks like a complete 'drunk', behaves totally irrational and violent) he has terrible sleep and constantly sais he feels like he is dying. the cries a lot out of despair and pain, he does not enjoy anything, seems like a 'vegetable', has no friends.

J. has too much anxiety to see another doctor, it is a vicious circle we dont seem to come out of. i had to call an ambulance because he was getting so bad. When they came he suddenly pretended to be 'normal' and they did not take him. he sais if he has to go to a public hospital it would be the end of him due to more trauma (he had a very traumatic childhood therefore i can not bring myself to commiting him to a public hospital involutarily as it would add to all his traumas so we are stuck) i am waiting for him to come to the point that he voluntarily goes to a private clinic but he is adoment he will not do that.

often i just want to curl up in bed and never wake up. the other 2 kids are the only reason i am still here. it is too much to cope with and all my friends have deserted me. i am too exhausted to make new friends or do anything for myself. i just try and get through each day but so often feel like giving up. i am very scared of the future.

my heart goes out to everyone who cares for a mentally ill person, especially to mothers because i blieve they suffer the most watching their loved one! there is so little help out there and i wish we could all get together and talk, cry, exchange experiences, laugh a little. but i feel we are all very lonely, battling by ourselves, feeling helpless against something we can't control. it is heart breaking !! we just need a glimpse of hope and encouragement to get strenght to keep going...

219 replies

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In response to: My son (24) has schizophrenia

Re: My son (24) has schizophrenia

@mia1@barbara
In the same boat with my son as well, I was told unless he hurts himself they can't help!
But m going thru crisis assessment team myself and my x husband r both taking him to the app m hoping with his dad being there will get him going!
Will c how we go!
Good luck to u all its like being stuck between a rock and the ground no matter which way u move ur stuck!
But if anything this makes us stronger and teaches us!
Don't give up something will change nothing stays the same! Who know wat tomoro brings:)

In response to: My son (24) has schizophrenia

Re: My son (24) has schizophrenia

It is a very tricky situation and no case is the same, it took me a very long time to get help and get him commited to the mental health hospital. but now i am glad i did, he is still there, it has been nearly 2 months and i have no regret. it was a very big decision but we had to make sure it was the right mental health team and hospital before we made this step. the staff has been amazing (which i can not say with larger hosptials) but i am really happy with them and my son seems to be coping too. he is on meds and it made him calmer. not sure what will happen when he gets out, i thhink he is planning to take himself off meds again. but we have to take each day as it comes, it is impossible to make plans. we are just grateful for each day without major dramas/episodes which seem to be much less frequent these days. good luck to everyone. i feel for eeach and every carer/consumer as this is huge and lifechanging. hang in there! i wish we could all get together in person and give eachother hope !!!

In response to: Re: My son (24) has schizophrenia

Re: My son (24) has schizophrenia

HI, thanks for your post, i know how you feel, it has been such a tough journey. i wish i had some advise, i am tryng myself to navigate myself through the mental health system. but this time we got help from the local mental health team, they have been great (we moved to a much smaller community and they seem to care and have commited him to hospital because he was soooo unwell and they could see a bit of that though he was trying to hide it) but it was a life saver really! i dont know if i would still be alive if they had not interfered and taken him to hospital. the staff there is really caring, we are lucky to be in the right area. not sure what will happen when they discharge him next week. but lets see and enjoy the moment of 'normality' while it lasts.... good luck !!! my heart goes out to each and every person who has mental health problems or caring for a loved one (especially their own child, it is just the hardest for a mother!!!) i have no tears left, i have cried so much and have regular break downs for every little thing, its just been too much!!!

In response to: Re: My son (24) has schizophrenia

Re: My son (24) has schizophrenia

Hi all

@Barbara @mia1 @Zam @astrengthinever @Barbara @Pamina @Cat64 @Diamond

Just wanted to jump in and let you all know, being that is is Schizophrenia Awareness Week, we will be hosting a Topic Tuesday event in the Carers Forum discussing the myths and misconceptions of schizophrenia. It is scheduled for this evening Tuesday 24 May between 7pm – 9pm AEST.

If anyone is interested, feel free to come along and join in the chatter! Hope to see you there 🙂

In response to: My son (24) has schizophrenia

Re: My son (24) has schizophrenia

Hello Barbara I thought I was the only one going through this pain in my life but now I see I'm not alone.I also have a 24yr old son whom I have gone through so so much with he is my first born and my biggest handful.My son was first diagnosed with ADD when he was 6 and was treated with several different ADD medicines not one of them ever did any good for him either they made him look like a zombie lacking sleep or a skeleton from lacking eating habits😞When I tell you it's been a life long struggle it seriously has been just that.Throughout my son's adolescent years and then teenage years stressful but then around the age of 19 things progressed out of control.My son's dad and myself tried everything possible to seek help for our son counseling, inpatient and outpatient treatment but nothing was helping because my son wouldn't allow doctors to get in his head to try to find what was really going on until 1 year ago we were able to get him involved in a study that was being done about people who had been diagnosed with schizophrenia this study was interesting for my son because the study involved getting paid money to basically sit in front of a computer for 2 hrs 3 times a week and talk about what he thought schizophrenia was and what caused it.Well needless to say that was a fail for my son because he never ended up going through with it.Since this day my son refuses any medical treatment and it any help from anybody.He is basically homeless and living in the street because he doesn't want to work, he has lived with myself and his other younger siblings but because of his condition he has made himself unbearable to live with so he had to be on his own😥My son has been in and out of shelters in and out of family homes and he has just about given up on trying to attempt immediate help for himself. Iam completely lost because I hate seeing my child in this situation but because of my other younger children I was out in a situation where I couldn't allow him to live in our home. My son is a good kind hearted person and I know deep down inside he wants a life for himself he just doesn't know how to have it😥

In response to: Re: My son (24) has schizophrenia

Re: My son (24) has schizophrenia

Dear @Irishoney72, thank you for your post, it made my cry because i feel your desperation in my heart, so sad to hear your story - it took me so long to reply to you because i am completely overwhelmed with everything and don't get 'me time'. it is so difficult and i wish we could support eachother and meet in person so we feel less alone. it is heartbreaking having a 'child' with such a debilitating mental illness, i never thought it could happen to our family and yet it is happening and we are struggling so much. i am so exhausted i have no words... i had to 'sacrifice' my other 2 younger kids and leave them in order to help my oldest who is soooo unwell and can not function at all. he has no friends, has no life, no joy, no purpose, no motivation, no help (except me but i will be useless soon because i am completely burnt out) i dont know what to say or do anymore, i have no emotions left inside me exept despair, i wish i could help others but i can not even help myself or my son. he is not getting any better but more the opposite - deteriorating each day, i am scared of the future. i tried very hard to give him hope and have hope myself but it is diminishing each passing day (i dont tell my son though), but we have to go on and keep going i guess, there is no other choice. for their sake. just keep going day by day. there might be brighter days ahead i dont know. i wish there was some inspiring and beautiful assisted accomodation in australia for people with a mental illness, with nice healing surroundings, nature, and nice staff who can look after them and 'consumers' (what a strange word) can keep eachother company so they dont feel so lost and lonely. but i guess it is only a dream i have. there is nothing like this in australia, only very basic accomodation but too hard to get into these, or hospitals but they are not nice places. so where is your son now? it must be so devastating for you to see him so lost. i know - all they want is to have a normal life like everyone else and it is heartbreaking because they are trapped in such a difficult space/place mentally. i am sorry if i sound negative and sad, it just comes out (and excuse my english, it is not my first language) i wish you all the best and please know that you are not alone, i thought this for a long time until i joined 'sane forum' and a carers group (though i still think my son is worst than their son's) please keep in touch and let us know how you go. stay strong !!!

In response to: My son (24) has schizophrenia

Re: My son (24) has schizophrenia

I am a mum of a 23 year old who was diagnosed with schizophrenia 4 years ago.
I haven done as well as you I ended up have a breakdown and severe anxiety attacks but have come through it all to be a stronger person and I choose only to look forward, I have learned so much from many ordeals and continue to support my son but have learnt to look after myself
I loved reading your story

In response to: My son (24) has schizophrenia

Re: My son (24) has schizophrenia

I feel all of your pain I have a son 23 with schizophrenia, when we feel unable to cope with his overwhelming behaviour we take him to our local caring hospital, we have put my son on the injection once a month and his illusions etc have gone , I suggest trying this our son says he will do anything he tells us, when he is unwell as he has learnt that he is " out of control " we are in a good place ATM
I wish you love and blessings . You are a great mum x

In response to: My son (24) has schizophrenia

Re: My son (24) has schizophrenia

hello @Barbara

I wish too that mothers of children, adult children could find a way to meet and share sad and successful small achievements.

Just share, feel how much love and energy goes into our loved ones

My son has moved interstate so I dont have the struggle every day.

I do have the pain, have always carried pain for him since he was a little boy always known something different, never diagnosed until late last year.

the pain is like a constant burn, i just dont understand if there are so many suffering why there is not more help

what is wrong with these highly paid medical people? are they afraid to speak up?

i hope i have not upset you further, i hope that you have support

In response to: My son (24) has schizophrenia

Re: My son (24) has schizophrenia

hello @Zam @Barbara

I have an adult son diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia who has left the state and will not tell anyone where he is. we are unable to contact him. he believes that he is well mentally. he is of course as a result under no care and on no medication.

i spoke to him the other night and his paranoia has increased, he has deteriorated.

I want to thank you for taking the time to respond to a mother who is trying her utmost to do everything for her son, including keep his rights respected and his dignity. Unfortunately the system is failing her, her son, myself, my son and many others out there.

So I have the utmost respect and regard for you and thank you from the bottom of my heart. You have reached out and helped us just by giving us your perspective. Be very proud of who you are, I am so glad to hear that you have your parent's support and that you now can see how valuable that was. You are all such wonderful human beings.

Your words on here will be read by many so know that you have and will be moving forward helping so many.

I wish you and your family a happy, healthy life

all the best

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