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My son (24) has schizophrenia

My son (24) has schizophrenia

This is my first post but i am desperate. My son J. (24) has been very unwell for years and diagnosed with all sorts of disorders (C-PTSC, OCD, severe Anxiety, eating disorder, etc) but it he has completely deteriorated last year and recently been diagnosed with schizophrenia. he has become very violent, abusive, obsessive compulsive, messy and unhygenic, etc the list could go on for ever... I have to live in fear every day waiting for the next episode to happen (usually on a daily basis). it is not safe for my other 2 children to live with us so we have to keep them apart which is even more heart breaking and very difficult to manage (my daughter is meant to be doing her HSC this year, is struggling hugely to focus and sleep, she also suffers from depression).

J. goes completely 'nuts' when hearing car noise, aeroplanes, machine noise as sensory overload seems to be the prevelant symtom and noise triggers most episodes. living in the city under the flight path is horrendous for him so we have to move to the country and leave the other kids behind. J. did so well at school and Uni, all his potential and future is lost and often i dont see any hope. The pain and exhaustion i am feeling is beyond words !!!! he refuses medical intervention (and meds) as previous doctor visits and hospital stays were more traumatic than were of any help. i am in so much despair seeing him deteriorate and losing his sanity on a regular basis (he talks and walks like a complete 'drunk', behaves totally irrational and violent) he has terrible sleep and constantly sais he feels like he is dying. the cries a lot out of despair and pain, he does not enjoy anything, seems like a 'vegetable', has no friends.

J. has too much anxiety to see another doctor, it is a vicious circle we dont seem to come out of. i had to call an ambulance because he was getting so bad. When they came he suddenly pretended to be 'normal' and they did not take him. he sais if he has to go to a public hospital it would be the end of him due to more trauma (he had a very traumatic childhood therefore i can not bring myself to commiting him to a public hospital involutarily as it would add to all his traumas so we are stuck) i am waiting for him to come to the point that he voluntarily goes to a private clinic but he is adoment he will not do that.

often i just want to curl up in bed and never wake up. the other 2 kids are the only reason i am still here. it is too much to cope with and all my friends have deserted me. i am too exhausted to make new friends or do anything for myself. i just try and get through each day but so often feel like giving up. i am very scared of the future.

my heart goes out to everyone who cares for a mentally ill person, especially to mothers because i blieve they suffer the most watching their loved one! there is so little help out there and i wish we could all get together and talk, cry, exchange experiences, laugh a little. but i feel we are all very lonely, battling by ourselves, feeling helpless against something we can't control. it is heart breaking !! we just need a glimpse of hope and encouragement to get strenght to keep going...

219 replies

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In response to: My son (24) has schizophrenia

Re: My son (24) has schizophrenia

@Libra Hi Libra nice to meet you :). What a great bunch of people we have here on the forums. I learn so much reading people'sstories and getting feedback on what I have written. It really is so beneficial. I wish you and your son luck with him getting a place. It can be hard on a DSP but not impossible as I have a carer's pension and share my place with my son (he has a DSP) and daughter. I am sure the right place will come along. Online dating OMG!! I amso lucky that my son's disability would make that almost impossible for him. I am hoping that he will meet a nice girl at his day care program or his special needs disco that he attends once a month. Online dating would be a disaster for him. I wish your son well and hope he too meets a really nice person.

Hope you enjoy the rest of your weekend. greenpea xxx

In response to: My son (24) has schizophrenia

Re: My son (24) has schizophrenia

Dear @Libra

thank you for your message. your personal journey has elements of my life.

the most important thing is you. I didn’t learn this until I met and married my husband : that’s a funny story ..............we did everything backwards : ...........he diagnosed in 1989 : we went to high school 2 gether married at 42 yrs : he decided to quit self medicating and ended up in jail. I put restraining order on him and 18 months later: he came back clean : never used again. Well it’s been 3 years. Sane forums has helped me through this time.

my oldest son had his first major Psychosis at 20 but guess who called him every day and spoke to him ? My darling husband. Because of my son and his Dad having a very fractured relationship. My oldest brother was caring for him in Queensland.

If if you decide Oprah Winfrey helps you you may want to set aside a specific time for her every day or second day.

The thing what gets me throughy is guided meditation by Jon Kabat Zinn. Also a

Carer twice per week to meditate with me and my craft work. When my youngest son recovered and is managing his life from glioma brain tumour..... I burnt out badly.

No no matter what: believe in yourself @Libra

In response to: My son (24) has schizophrenia

Re: My son (24) has schizophrenia

@Dadcaringalone Hi Dadcaringalone I think you are pretty funny and supportive too 🙂 and I suppose we are both in such similar positions it is natural to gain a good online friendship :).

When my son was in his last stay at hospital it was a disaster. I will never do it to him or myself again. Unfortunately there are no hospitals which fit him due to his specific problems ... I know he is not alone in this I am sure many people with Autism Spectrum Disorder are in the same place but still ... It is good your son is in there voluntarily he can get the help he needs and then go. As you say you don't want him institutionalized.

Hi @PeppiPatty always good to see your face pop up :). Hope you are taking good care of yourself and have a great weekend won't you. greenpea

In response to: My son (24) has schizophrenia

Re: My son (24) has schizophrenia

Dear @Dadcaringalone

I don’t have much time atm but my husband diagnosed schizophrenia 1989.

When Mr Buddha ( husband ) came back to me when I put restraining order on him : he apologised and said ‘ all that time community orders; jail time, self medicating, he has to get through it because he needed to accept that he has a mental illness.

In response to: Re: My son (24) has schizophrenia

Re: My son (24) has schizophrenia

@PeppiPatty

Thanks for sharing PeppiPatty.

Its very hard to accept these type of things for all parties. Glad Mr Buddha has accepted it. My brother (who is 47) is still a violent alcholic (self medicating) enabled by my mum. I got assulted by him when my father was in rehab recovering from a major heart attack, surgery and a super bug. I put a restraining order on him and was totally ostracized by my family. He then got violent again towards my son when he was psychotic which brought on my son’s first major episode. My dad’s sister had manic depression as bipolar used to be called, and he still says, she’s mad I can’t deal with her and we hardly saw that side of the family as we grew up. My wife’s in complete denial, she wants my son off his meds and to try holistic healing. She started screaming at a psychiatrist on a recent hospital visit. I can’t use words like manic, schizophrenia, schizo affective around her. She screams at my son which makes it worse while I sit there meditating (like George’s father in Seinfeld “Serenity Now”) to be the only one staying calm. When I told my mum that my son, her grandson has schizo affective disorder, she got angry with me and said she always thought I was a bit schizo! Family, you can’t live with them, you can’t live without them! Many of the family watched the recent ABC’s You Can’t Ask That schizophrenia and are finally starting to get their head around it.

In response to: Re: My son (24) has schizophrenia

Re: My son (24) has schizophrenia

This is atrocious @Dadcaringalone I'm so sorry that you have such an unhelpful family.

Lately, I've been thinking..... My little narcissistic bit ...... Why aren't I on Australian Story ?

20 years of Psychanalysis, university degrees, major head injury at 16 years old ; terrible mother. But my sons are managing their lives. Why can't anyone see what I've sacrificed ?

no no one would care. People would not be interested. And anyway, seriously,

My perfect partner Mr Buddha could'nt go on Tv and neither could I. I was was totally ostriches by my mother in law and mum when I put restraining order on mr Buddha but no one will praise me when he quit all self medicating and smoking cigarettes. He's cut down from 50 cigarettes to one cigar per day. From bottles and bottles of whiskey to 2 drinks per month.

That channel 2 show is amazing. Yesterday I saw an amazing Australian Story on channel 24 about a Psychology University Professour who went to Southern Cross University and got his PH.D. Under some pretty hard life challenges. I'll find the name of it.

In response to: Re: My son (24) has schizophrenia

Re: My son (24) has schizophrenia

Content/trigger warning

This is atrocious @Dadcaringalone I'm so sorry that you have such an unhelpful family.

Lately, I've been thinking..... My little narcissistic bit ...... Why aren't I on Australian Story ?

20 years of Psychanalysis, university degrees, major head injury at 16 years old ; terrible mother. But my sons are managing their lives. Why can't anyone see what I've sacrificed ?

no no one would care. People would not be interested. And anyway, seriously,

My perfect partner Mr Buddha could'nt go on Tv and neither could I. I was was totally ostriches by my mother in law and mum when I put restraining order on mr Buddha but no one will praise me when he quit all self medicating and smoking cigarettes. He's cut down from 50 cigarettes to one cigar per day. From bottles and bottles of whiskey to 2 drinks per month.

That channel 2 show is amazing. Yesterday I saw an amazing Australian Story on channel 24 about a Psychology University Professour who went to Southern Cross University and got his PH.D. Under some pretty hard life challenges. I'll find the name of it.

In response to: Re: My son (24) has schizophrenia

Re: My son (24) has schizophrenia

@PeppiPatty,

Hi, I understand about the family "stuff". I feel my son's older brother and sister are not comfortable with their brother being diagnosed with schizophrenia. My partner sometimes says...he just needs to grow some balls...(yeah, easy as that!). So I sometimes feel like it's my son and I against the world.

His father died in 2004 and his grandparent have passed also. My sister is very comfortable with it and supports us both. (always saying, he's my favourite nephew).

AND I too also say "serenity now!" lol. I picture George's father and I laugh, it breaks a bad moment...thanks for giving me a little chuckle right now.

Take care, Libra xoxo

In response to: Re: My son (24) has schizophrenia

Re: My son (24) has schizophrenia

Dear @Libra @Dadcaringalone

Amazing news

mr Buddha is saying he’s booking himself into hospital .... yippee !! I’ll write again in 2 hours

In response to: Re: My son (24) has schizophrenia

Re: My son (24) has schizophrenia

Dear @Libra

@Dadcaringalone@Bunniekins

@@I know nothing different than you wonderful people BUT

the most important thing thing is to care for you first. I personally think that the meditation audio book by Jon Kabat Zinn called “ wherever you go, there you are.” You can find it on ‘YouTube I’m on my iPhone and can’t post it here. I would listen to it once per week just 5 Mins at a time until I was stronger. I’m now on the 30 minute Body scan by Jon Kabat Zinn which my support worker and I meditate to twice per week in her car. I asked for a support worker from my GP about 5 years ago and she’s been seeing me twice per week since. She does go on holidays and does get ill ...... that’s very cool by me...... we really like each other...... our time spent together is a dialogue not a monologue.

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