FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Friends, families and carers

My son (24) has schizophrenia

My son (24) has schizophrenia

This is my first post but i am desperate. My son J. (24) has been very unwell for years and diagnosed with all sorts of disorders (C-PTSC, OCD, severe Anxiety, eating disorder, etc) but it he has completely deteriorated last year and recently been diagnosed with schizophrenia. he has become very violent, abusive, obsessive compulsive, messy and unhygenic, etc the list could go on for ever... I have to live in fear every day waiting for the next episode to happen (usually on a daily basis). it is not safe for my other 2 children to live with us so we have to keep them apart which is even more heart breaking and very difficult to manage (my daughter is meant to be doing her HSC this year, is struggling hugely to focus and sleep, she also suffers from depression).

J. goes completely 'nuts' when hearing car noise, aeroplanes, machine noise as sensory overload seems to be the prevelant symtom and noise triggers most episodes. living in the city under the flight path is horrendous for him so we have to move to the country and leave the other kids behind. J. did so well at school and Uni, all his potential and future is lost and often i dont see any hope. The pain and exhaustion i am feeling is beyond words !!!! he refuses medical intervention (and meds) as previous doctor visits and hospital stays were more traumatic than were of any help. i am in so much despair seeing him deteriorate and losing his sanity on a regular basis (he talks and walks like a complete 'drunk', behaves totally irrational and violent) he has terrible sleep and constantly sais he feels like he is dying. the cries a lot out of despair and pain, he does not enjoy anything, seems like a 'vegetable', has no friends.

J. has too much anxiety to see another doctor, it is a vicious circle we dont seem to come out of. i had to call an ambulance because he was getting so bad. When they came he suddenly pretended to be 'normal' and they did not take him. he sais if he has to go to a public hospital it would be the end of him due to more trauma (he had a very traumatic childhood therefore i can not bring myself to commiting him to a public hospital involutarily as it would add to all his traumas so we are stuck) i am waiting for him to come to the point that he voluntarily goes to a private clinic but he is adoment he will not do that.

often i just want to curl up in bed and never wake up. the other 2 kids are the only reason i am still here. it is too much to cope with and all my friends have deserted me. i am too exhausted to make new friends or do anything for myself. i just try and get through each day but so often feel like giving up. i am very scared of the future.

my heart goes out to everyone who cares for a mentally ill person, especially to mothers because i blieve they suffer the most watching their loved one! there is so little help out there and i wish we could all get together and talk, cry, exchange experiences, laugh a little. but i feel we are all very lonely, battling by ourselves, feeling helpless against something we can't control. it is heart breaking !! we just need a glimpse of hope and encouragement to get strenght to keep going...

219 replies

141 - 150 of 219
1...141516...22

In response to: My son (24) has schizophrenia

Re: My son (24) has schizophrenia

My Dearest @Libra

Thats a horrible situation that you are currently experiencing. I don’t know enough about your son to give you advice and I am reluctant to because I don’t understand the full situation and dynamics between you and your son. What I would say though is if he is using then this will severely impact on the chemical imbalance of his mind and if it was me then I would delicately make his doctors aware of it. My son often doesn’t want me to talk too much during the sessions we have weekly with the hospital but then call them up later. I am currently experiencing something similar with my son who feels the antidepressants he’s taking don’t improve his moods, but I’ve seen him when he doesn’t take them. Its a delicate balance but the main thing you need to do is stay firm and remember that you can see the beauty of your son separate to the disease. That’s what has helped me get through some of the really hard times. I send you a virtual hug 🤗 to help you stay strong and keep truck’n

xxxooo

In response to: My son (24) has schizophrenia

Re: My son (24) has schizophrenia

Hi there @Bunniekins

Sorry I’ve been out of contact recently but we have been pretty busy. My son is stabilizing to a degree but things are still pretty volatile on certain days but I’m getting stronger from an emotional point of view. It’s much better since my daughter moved interstate and now I am only caring for my son which has freed my time up substantially. Trying to find some ”me” time to do things which I enjoy for a change and get outside and be with nature as the weather starts to improve.

Whats going on with you? I find I get great strength from hearing from others going through similar struggles, it makes me feel like I’m not all alone in my son’s own reality!

take care and xxxoooo

In response to: Re: My son (24) has schizophrenia

Re: My son (24) has schizophrenia

@Dadcaringalone Hi Dadcaringalone great to hear from you and is wonderful that your son is stabilizing and that you are getting much needed time to yourself since your daughter has moved out. More 'me time' is definately what is needed for carers, there is never enough time to destress.

My son is as crazy as ever lol 🙂 he talks about all sorts of entities which have cords attached to his back from which they control him. He tries to cut the cord but they always connect it again when things are rough. He is a funny guy though and makes me laugh at times which is wonderful, I grab hold of those moments as they can be few and far between.

I am currently doing a mindfullness course which is really exhausting ... I am not enjoying it to be honest as it is getting me out of my comfort zone ... I really don't want to go but I know it will do me good. I cannot keep going on like this. I have to take steps to move forward. Anyway I will let you know how that all goes.

Keep in touch when you can. gp xxxxoooo

In response to: Re: My son (24) has schizophrenia

Re: My son (24) has schizophrenia

Dear @Bunniekins

I wish you some pea’ce! My son is also pretty volatile and not speaking with me at present. He’s delusionally trying to force himself back quickly to some romantic idea of normality he has in his mind. This I believe means reentering normal society like everyone else and living a normal life with job etc like the mainstream. He however is not able to maintain things for long until he flips out with someone at uni or someone who annoys him on the street. I just need a rest from him now and then to retain my own sanity if I have any left. His technology obsession is driving me absolutely crazy, he does nothing in small doses and when I say anything I’m wrong for stopping him trying to get back to normality!

Sounds like you are having your own challenges with cords! Are they physical cords he sees or more of a psychological cord holding him down?

Its a pity your mindfulness course is a bit of a slog at the moment. I am also having difficulty maintaining my mindfulness at present. For me it doesn’t really work if its being forced.

Take care and please feel free to drop me a virtual bell anytime and I will try my best to get back to you as soon as I can.

Its a nice relief and bit of pea’ce from the daily struggles we face.

xxxxoooo

In response to: Re: My son (24) has schizophrenia

Re: My son (24) has schizophrenia

@Dadcaringalone Hi Dadcaringalone Sorry that misunderstood your post re son. I was hoping maybe things had calmed down for you. For my son he feels physical cords inserted into his back which he tries desperately to cut or pull out. These cords are used to control him (so he says) by the evil entities which talk to him.

I understand perfectly about the obsession part my son's room drives me crazy. Everytime I look at it with the things he has accumulated to make his 'fantastical machines' it makes me so depressed. I can feel my heart sinking ... so I can really, really relate to your feelins of frustration and feelings that you are going crazy.

Thanks for your kind words the pea really appreciate's it and wishing you the same.

Have a pea'cefull day.gp xxxxooo

Yes the mindfullness course is bringing up so many old wounds which I thought were covered and yet now they are being brought to the surface all raw and nasty. I haven't dealt with my issues at all I have just covered over them. It will be a long time before I will be able to.

In response to: Re: My son (24) has schizophrenia

Re: My son (24) has schizophrenia

@BunniekinsYou didn’t misunderstand greenpea, I am fairly strong with letting my son get to me with all his antics I have described to you in detail. I am at the stage now where I just go with the flow and don’t try to change his behavior but I try to change how I deal with it and how I think about it because the more I think about it the more suffering that causes. I am also firm and make sure I don’t just passively give-in to everything at the expense of my own mental health.

Is your son medication compliant? Because what you are describing here with cords etc sounds like Hallucinations to me from my past experience with my son. Before my son was recently admitted he was still taking his medication and his symptoms just came back. Not sure what is the case with your son. It’s a vicious cycle of ups and downs and we can only really manage how we feel about what’s taking place with our sons.

Its a pity that your mindfulness course is bringing up all these prepressed memories. True mindfulness from my experiences should help you live in the present moment and not focus on the past or the future. When things get really tough I simply just focus on my bodily sensations for as long as possible as this takes me away from all of what I have described because that’s all about thinking and the longer I can observe feeling the longer I can cut suffering from its root cause.

I feel like you are doing a really good job coping greenpea! Please give yourself some attention and do what you want for yourself for a change. Last night I went to see a movie which I wanted for a change because I was sick of just complying with my son’s wishes and doing what he wants! He was upset and almost walked out halfway because it wasn’t his type of movie but it showed him that he can’t just be spoilt all the time and get what he wants. That’s all for now.

Stay strong and keep truck’n

xxxxoooo

In response to: Re: My son (24) has schizophrenia

Re: My son (24) has schizophrenia

@Dadcaringalone Good morning Dadcaringalone yes my son is medication compliant which is a relief I cannot imagine what it is like for those with children who refuse their medication.

Mindfullness course went a bit better today. I have realised that I have alot of baggage that I have to get off my back. Painful stuff from the past that I need to deal with. Cannot run from it any more.

Thank you for your positive posts. They are always uplifting :). Have a love weekend.

ps: You didn't tell us what film you saw and if it was any good 🙂 gp xxxxoooo

In response to: Re: My son (24) has schizophrenia

Re: My son (24) has schizophrenia

Dear @Bunniekins

Thanks for yours. It’s a long road even though they are medication compliant and sometimes the meds on mask the symptoms to a degree. My son’s recent long hospital visit was because the medication he was initially given started to not hold back the hallucinations anymore especially under times of distress. The new medication he’s taking seems to work much better at stopping command hallucinations but he’s still pretty moody.

Glad you enjoyed the last day of your mindfulness course and now you understand you need to deal with some of your demons.

The movie we saw was Equalizer 2 but it wasn’t my son’s cup of tea because I think he thought it was a bit slow for him and Denzel Washington is not from his generation. Hope you have some sunshine wherever you are.

xxxooo

In response to: Re: My son (24) has schizophrenia

Re: My son (24) has schizophrenia

Jepers... great posts...

I am struck by the strength of these posts ( of course @Appleblossom )

@Dadcaringalone @Barbara @Bunniekins @Libra

I think GP would know that I have written you know : all these Doctors, mental health people, police, Hospitals, Nurses ETC :

You know your children the best.

In response to: My son (24) has schizophrenia

Re: My son (24) has schizophrenia

Hello all. Just a quick update on my son. He was released from the hospital on 7/13/2018. He has just begun to be able to watch movies this past week. He still resists watching TV, as the commercials disturb him. He is living in our RV again. He is current med-compliant, which is pretty much all I can ask for. He is kind and polite, currently, which makes things easier. We've had some issues with small things sending him into a frazzled mindset, but they have mostly subsided. Just an update. I hope everyone and your loved ones are hanging in there. We all know it is a long road ahead of us. Best wishes and respect to you all

141 - 150 of 219
1...141516...22