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My son (24) has schizophrenia

My son (24) has schizophrenia

This is my first post but i am desperate. My son J. (24) has been very unwell for years and diagnosed with all sorts of disorders (C-PTSC, OCD, severe Anxiety, eating disorder, etc) but it he has completely deteriorated last year and recently been diagnosed with schizophrenia. he has become very violent, abusive, obsessive compulsive, messy and unhygenic, etc the list could go on for ever... I have to live in fear every day waiting for the next episode to happen (usually on a daily basis). it is not safe for my other 2 children to live with us so we have to keep them apart which is even more heart breaking and very difficult to manage (my daughter is meant to be doing her HSC this year, is struggling hugely to focus and sleep, she also suffers from depression).

J. goes completely 'nuts' when hearing car noise, aeroplanes, machine noise as sensory overload seems to be the prevelant symtom and noise triggers most episodes. living in the city under the flight path is horrendous for him so we have to move to the country and leave the other kids behind. J. did so well at school and Uni, all his potential and future is lost and often i dont see any hope. The pain and exhaustion i am feeling is beyond words !!!! he refuses medical intervention (and meds) as previous doctor visits and hospital stays were more traumatic than were of any help. i am in so much despair seeing him deteriorate and losing his sanity on a regular basis (he talks and walks like a complete 'drunk', behaves totally irrational and violent) he has terrible sleep and constantly sais he feels like he is dying. the cries a lot out of despair and pain, he does not enjoy anything, seems like a 'vegetable', has no friends.

J. has too much anxiety to see another doctor, it is a vicious circle we dont seem to come out of. i had to call an ambulance because he was getting so bad. When they came he suddenly pretended to be 'normal' and they did not take him. he sais if he has to go to a public hospital it would be the end of him due to more trauma (he had a very traumatic childhood therefore i can not bring myself to commiting him to a public hospital involutarily as it would add to all his traumas so we are stuck) i am waiting for him to come to the point that he voluntarily goes to a private clinic but he is adoment he will not do that.

often i just want to curl up in bed and never wake up. the other 2 kids are the only reason i am still here. it is too much to cope with and all my friends have deserted me. i am too exhausted to make new friends or do anything for myself. i just try and get through each day but so often feel like giving up. i am very scared of the future.

my heart goes out to everyone who cares for a mentally ill person, especially to mothers because i blieve they suffer the most watching their loved one! there is so little help out there and i wish we could all get together and talk, cry, exchange experiences, laugh a little. but i feel we are all very lonely, battling by ourselves, feeling helpless against something we can't control. it is heart breaking !! we just need a glimpse of hope and encouragement to get strenght to keep going...

219 replies

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In response to: My son (24) has schizophrenia

Re: My son (24) has schizophrenia

I am going to try and be optimistic but sometimes it’s really tough. I am taking care of my 24 year old son alone who is suffering from pretty severe schizophrenia. He has built up a type of resistance to his Meds which he has been taking for the past few years. Apparently his frontal lobe still fights through the antipsychotics! He has just returned home from a very long admission in hospital and I have been left to take care of him myself. I have to do absolutely everything for him. My wife is overseas and I’m also taking care of my adult daughter who has severe depression. My days are spend with driving both of them around and literally “walking on egg-shells” the entire day. His first really bad suicide attempt resulted in me being arrested by the Police for restraining my son from killing himself following command hallucinations. The most recent hospital visit resulted from a sharp object related suicide attempt. I am convinced that my son has a type of subconscious tormentor manifested in his auditory, visual and more recently taste of blood hallucinations, which is triggered as a type of addictive escape during times of extreme stress. We are trying to keep him away from his triggers. I have practiced mindfulness meditation for the past 30 years and my enlightened Buddhist monk guru says I excel in managing my emotions but I want to share these skills with my son. He is now exploring more alternative approaches to deal with his illness. Has anyone had an positive experiences with taking alternative approach to dealing with the schizophrenia of a loved one? He forgot to take his medication last night and today was a pretty volatile walk on the egg shells all day. When he’s good he’s amazing and during his recent hospital visit he memorized the algorithms to solve every rubix cube we could find him. Any experiences with alternative approaches that may work for my son??

In response to: Re: My son (24) has schizophrenia

Re: My son (24) has schizophrenia

Hello @Dadcaringalone, @Barbara, @classycase, @Libra, @Jasminej

Hello and welcome @Dadcaringalone to the forum

@Former-Member, @Grasshopper3, @Faith-and-Hope, @Bunniekins, @Former-Member

In response to: My son (24) has schizophrenia

Re: My son (24) has schizophrenia

Hello @classycase , sending you hugs and seeing how you and your son are going today

@Libra

In response to: Re: My son (24) has schizophrenia

Re: My son (24) has schizophrenia

@Dadcaringalone Hi Dadcaringaline and thank you @Shaz51 for tagging me into the conversation.I have a son 25 this year who has shizophrenia, autism, epilepsy and mild intellectual disability. For my son taking his meds regularly have been the key although the voices are still there regardless and I have been told they always will be.

Exercise, long walks and lots of distractions help. Lots of sleep and positive social interactions are good at keeping the voices at bay.

I have bipolar and schizoaffective disorder and find that again taking meds regularly plus walking and keeping busy and with sleep help enormously to keep me in a positive mood and to keep me 'voice' free.

I hope this helps a little bit. Wishing you all the best. greenpea 🙂

In response to: Re: My son (24) has schizophrenia

Re: My son (24) has schizophrenia

Dear greenpea, thanks for your very helpful responses. Greatly appreciated. We also manage the voices thru regular long active walks, staying active and focus on “moving forward” (sorry that’s a quote from Forrest Gump).
Just have a couple of questions, if that’s ok:
1. How do you manage the mood component of your schizoaffective disorder? I find this particularly difficult to handle.
2. Which schizoaffective groups in Sydney would you suggest my son joins for social engagement with young people who understand schizoaffective disorders? His recent hospitalization was triggered by a breakup and a type of mental health bullying from my son’s group of friends who found him too full-on. He now is isolated trying to recover with me and my daughter because there is no one else who loves him unconditionally. His work is not prepared to re-employ him until he has the all clear from an occupational therapist.
3. Is there any other tricks you have for keeping your voices at bay and getting through a whole day of not breaking any egg shells?

Thanks again for your kind advice. I feel these illnesses are completely miunderstood and as suffers and carers its our roles to shine the light on the unique contribution we can all make to this little planet of ours. My son’s favourite movie is a beautiful mind....

In response to: Re: My son (24) has schizophrenia

Re: My son (24) has schizophrenia

Hey @Dadcaringalone

i read your post earlier and at first i wasnt enitially going to reply due to not being a carer myself but as i read it again, i kept going over the part where you said alternative approaches to help with his illness, so i assume you mean the hallucinations and voices?

i myself am diagnosed with schizophrenia and have gone through years of different medications and all sorts of activities to help deal with symptoms and when you go on a medication that helps combat symptoms it can be great but in my experience it never got rid of voices or at times hallucinations.. Going for walks and exercising while sounds good, could be a nightmare due to the possible side effects of the medication and that being no energy at all.

I asked about your sons interests and was curious if he likes video games?

they work great for me during the worst of times with voices and hallucinations because i am focussing my mind completely on a video game. It is all a bit easier to ignore when you can completely concentrate on something else.

Anyway im sure this isnt much help but it is just another perspective i guess..

i do hope things get easier for you and your family

In response to: Re: My son (24) has schizophrenia

Re: My son (24) has schizophrenia

Zam, that’s exactly what I was after! Thanks. Recently he got a Nintendo Switch which seems to be perfect because it keeps his full attention away from the hallucinations and voices. He’s particularly into the Fifa 2018 with the World Cup currently in full swing. Got a few docks so he can easily plug and play whichever room and TV he is in and we can exchange rooms when tensions arise and he can play out voices and hallucinations.

Have you tried converting your home to a smart home, with Google Home, Chrome cast, Phillips Hue etc? This has taken on a life of its own at our place and he has a google AI voice to give his own commands to! Thought you might be interested in giving it a try...my son seems to find it a great activity to combat symptoms!

In response to: Re: My son (24) has schizophrenia

Re: My son (24) has schizophrenia

Hello Shaz51. Things are ok at the moment, thank you. My son finally checked himself into the hosptial on 6-13-18. He is currently still in there. He was "voluntary" until 6-30-18 at which time they did the 5150, which turned into a 5250. He will, again, come live with me upon his release. I am hopeful things will go well.

In response to: Re: My son (24) has schizophrenia

Re: My son (24) has schizophrenia

@Dadcaringalone Hi Dadcaringalone

1. How do you manage the mood component of your schizoaffective disorder? I find this particularly difficult to handle. Mood component is so hard isn't it. medication. I never give up on trying new medications and upping or lowering the meds.

The important thing I have found is to be honest with the psychiatrist and to take the medication perscribed even though I would prefer to be drug free. I know if I were drug free I would be back in hospital with worse symptoms than what I have now. In fact my psychiatrist said that to me the more times off the meds and then subsequent hospital admissions the worse the outcome. So I am taking her advice very seriously and staying on the medications.


2. Which schizoaffective groups in Sydney would you suggest my son joins for social engagement with young people who understand schizoaffective disorders? His recent hospitalization was triggered by a breakup and a type of mental health bullying from my son’s group of friends who found him too full-on. He now is isolated trying to recover with me and my daughter because there is no one else who loves him unconditionally. His work is not prepared to re-employ him until he has the all clear from an occupational therapist.

I would start looking at NDIS for help with this. I will tag @eth into this conversation as she has a thread going about her NDIS journey. I think it could be very useful for you to get the help you need for your son to be more active in his community. Get him into clubs and gaining more friendships. Plus if you could get some funding it would help you as a carer giving you a break to either help your daughter out more or just have some 'me' time for yourself


3. Is there any other tricks you have for keeping your voices at bay and getting through a whole day of not breaking any egg shells?

Yes and this was hard for me no alcohol. Goes without saying no drugs. All of this is harder for a younger person but living a totally healthy lifestyle is paramount I believe in getting better. Your son sounds very intelligent and you are obviously a fantastic father tag me anytime to talk using the @Bunniekins I would love to be able to help wherever I can.

PS: I also have a daughter with chronic depression so if you want to talk re that I am also here 🙂

Love greenpea

In response to: Re: My son (24) has schizophrenia

Re: My son (24) has schizophrenia

Thanks X2 greenpea,
I think re-establishing his social group is the key. Thanks for your suggestions in relation to groups he would hopefully get involved with as he improves his confidence.

Yes, our whole family is completely drug and alcohol free. Been trying to explain this to my mates and extended family , where alcohol is an important part of their social life as a type of social lubricant and they don’t get it! I just disengage with these people and tell others I’m permanently on the wagon!! It’s important the be completely in control of your emotions to navigate the very slippery slopes of this illness.

I noticed at the bottom of your post you mentioned your daughter. Do you have any advice here? I find it’s difficult to keep my daughter away from these family crises which are often centred on my son. He’s often type of jealous of her because she’s started to build some great friendships while due to the nature of his illness, he is now lacking in this critical area. Her therapist has previously noted that it’s important that her own mental health is not impacted by this situation. She has her own issues she’s trying her best to deal with which involves deferring from uni while her leg injury heals so she has a limited capacity to deal with these family issues which according to her she’s completely “over”.
Thanks again for your very warm and caring assistance greenpea.
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