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Terrifying Harm OCD again

Scared32Casual Contributor23 May 2018, 8:57 pm AEST

Terrifying Harm OCD again

I have severe ocd which is really bad at the moment. I really don’t like driving, especially at night as I’m terrified of hitting an animal. I love animals and it is my worst fear. Just lately my harm ocd has become really bad. If I become upset or have a thought that upsets me or makes me angry, I think or feel like I’ve run over something on purpose. Tonight I drove to my dancing class and was quite stressed about it. After the class was finished, some of the girls had arranged to see a show together but no one had invited me. I got really upset and angry that I was left out. As I was leaving, someone was driving out of the car park and I thought that I frightened the lovely old cat that hangs around the car park underneath their wheels. I could never forgive myself for doing something so awful. I couldn’t stop and check because everyone was driving out of the parking area. It’s so distressing that I have these awful impulses just because I’m upset about something. It makes me wonder if I’m evil. I have animals and I love them more than anything. I’m terrified that I’ve done something to the beautiful cat. I haven’t seen him for a while and I always get worried that he’s going to get run over by someone. I’m so scared at what I might have done. Please help me.

2 replies

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In response to: Terrifying Harm OCD again

utopiaSenior Contributor23 May 2018, 9:05 pm AEST

Re: Terrifying Harm OCD again

@Scared32 - chances are you didn't hurt the cat at all. The cat is probably asleep inside by now - nice and warm.
But trying to control or quieten our thoughts can be very hard to do.
Do you have any techniques you use when your thoughts are so strong? What has worked in the past?
Some people find focusing on a task - like colouring in, knitting even ironing - can help distract you from those thoughts.
What can you do tonight to reduce that tension?

In response to: Terrifying Harm OCD again

Unknown userMember24 May 2018, 5:19 pm AEST

Re: Terrifying Harm OCD again

Hello @Scared32

Thanks for sharing, it sounds like you are going through such a great amount of worry with your intrusive thoughts over things you have very little control over. It is extremely difficult to sit in the not knowing and how your mind can automatically go to the worst case scenario.

It is good you are reaching out for support for all of that on the forums, are you getting any other support for your intrusive thoughts through a counsellor or psychologist?

It can be good to distract yourself from the thoughts and remind yourself that they are only thoughts, to give them less power and let you think about something more helpful. Do you do any self care to get you out of your mind so much and back into your body, to give yourself a break from worrying all the time?

Lunar

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