Five lies my illness tells me...

I completely get what you're saying there @Snowie When we believe our thoughts, they don't feel at all like lies. In fact, they feel as true as anything else inthe world.

There's this thing they say in psychology about reality testing beliefs and that can help some people to identify the "lies" from the "truths". That strategy works for some, but for others, it isn't enough to change the belief.

I tend to see thoughts as being separate to ourselves. Kind of like imagining our thoughts as clouds passing in the sky, they come and go. Whether we believe or don't believe the thoughts is about the relationship we have to the thoughts (if that makes sense).

I really like the idea of noticing and accepting, as @frog mentioned. Perhaps a question we could ask ourselves when we're stuck in particular types of thoughts is not "is this thought true?", but rather, "Is it helpful for me to keep listening to this thought?" 🤔

Why do the feels win? I agree with @Former-Member. I find it hard to accept and move past the logic when the feelings are so strong.

I had a session the other week where I discussed what I had written on the forum at the time and it felt like my 'truth'. The next day I was so ashamed of writing same said thing and wondered how I could have written it and believed it so intensely. I felt like a liar and felt like I had no integrity at all. I looked up the post in therapy that day to discuss it because I was feeling so messed up over it and re reading it there and then it felt like my 'truth' and honesty again. I felt like such a fool but it shows how things are hard to find a way through that I can trust. If I’m like this how are others supposed to trust me?

I have tried the cloud idea. Putting my thoughts on a cloud and letting them drift away. Putting them on a wave and letting them wash out back to sea. My thoughts are like a boomerang, always coming back to me.

It isn't helpful to listen to the thoughts. I try and tell myself not too, but I get to the point where I believe them and act on them. My psych tells me I don't have to act on them.

I am not sure what would help me with these thoughts. Perhaps with learning more tools I can dispute them or perhaps they will win in the end.

@Former-Member What an interesting question ... I find that it is not lies so to speak the mi has changed how I think and who I am. The person that I once was lets say 20 years ago is gone now I am a shell of my former self.

Emotions can absolutely change the way we think @Former-Member @Teej and persuade us that our thoughts are facts. Almost in a way where we look at the world through "depression glasses" or "anxiety glasses" - without even recognising we have those glases on. I wonder what it would be like to notice when we're wearing those glasses, see if we can try and take them off, and look at the thoughts adn feelings, rather than through them?

Good on you for giving that a go @Snowie And you're so right, that particualr thoughts can be a bit like boomerangs. I like what your psych suggested there, and they're so right - just because we have a thought, doesn't make it true and doesn't mean we need to act on it. It sound's like talking to your psych might be just the thing that will continue to help moving forward.

MI does have the ability to completely shake up our view of ourselves and the world @Bunniekins How do you differentiate between "you" and MI?

That's so true @CheerBear, so many of the lies do start with those catastrophising type statements. When we feel overehwlmed, our minds are good at generating those kinds of thoughts too. What a great strategy, to ask yourself the question about whether it would apply to others - we're always our own worst critics! It can be a good way to step out of that cycle when you see it coming ahead of time.

MI does have the ability to completely shake up our view of ourselves and the world @greenpea How do you differentiate between "you" and MI?

@Former-Member Hi Margot truth is I can't any more. My mi and I are one now. I don't know whether that is the schizo or the bp1 but I am just one with the mi. I think because it has probably crept up over the years without me noticing until I became totally psychotic. Sad but true.

When you've lived with MI for many years, it makes sense that the line between you and MI has become pretty blurry - perhaps it even feels non-existent @Bunniekins.

In a weird way, I imagine it might feel a bit daunting to even consider being separate to MI after so many years - despite the challenges it can throw up. It's been such a big part of your experience, and your story.I wonder whether other member's might be able to relate to that too?

Although it's hard to percieve a separation, it might still be there, somewhere, in a hard to find place. And maybe the 'you' that you find, will be different to the 'you' that was there before MI. I guess we all change and grow with our life expreinces over the years in that way. It would certianly make it tricker to notice the difference between MI thoughts, and yours for sure 🌻