Broken666Casual Contributor
Life keeps spiraling
"As a child my life was never easy, father passed away when I was 7, my mother is deaf and cannot to this day be independent, she neglected my needs and jumped from one guy to the next, which resulted in me being sexually abused by a few of her boyfriends, welfare placed me in care for a few yrs then I was returned to her, until she abandoned me at 15, I lived with an older cpl in they're late 40's and ended up in a sexual relationship with the male, when I was 16 I met a guy who was 24 and started a relationship with him not knowing he was married at the time and expecting a baby.... That relationship was based on drug abuse and physical violence, fell pregnant at 19 and ended up leaving him at 21..... When I was 22 I met a guy who I thought was my soul mate, got married, had 3 more kids and life was great so I thought.... We were social drinkers and occasional drug users, 9yrs passed and he started to use needles, which he had always been against... The use got really bad and he was using way more than I was aware, he was sleeping around and betraying me and my family, I confronted him on certain events that happened only to be told I was crazy, I trusted him and he was always in control of the drugs and He tried to end me I'm convinced.... After months of trying to quit my habit and fix our marriage with no avail I left, I ended up losing my children after several attempts of suicide, I got them back only because I left him and got clean... During the 3 months after I left he was begging for another try, and I stuck with my decision to separate, he attempted suicide a cpl times and his last attempt landed him in a coma, I flew to be with him and he recovered, more attempts to get us to reconcile but I just couldn't do it again... I have suffered a few breakdowns and during one of them I ended up burning the house down that we owned... I am now waiting to be sentenced for 2 arson charges.... Since the incident I have fallen back into the drug addiction, I have lost my children to him and am not coping well at all, I'm worried about coping with jail and he won't let me talk to my children, I just want the pain to end and I find myself using more and more.....
