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EXTREMELY Concerned about Daughter

EXTREMELY Concerned about Daughter

Hi there.

I'm a single mother of two adult daughters. After being bullied at school at the age of 13, one of my daughters developed depression, anxiety, anorexia, bi-polar?, borderline personality disorder? and may also have aspergers.

I have been looking after her and her mental conditions for the past 12 years and I'm extremely concerned that she is getting worse; not better. She has had every recommended treatment available, even ECT, but nothing has helped. She has been suicidal now for the past 18 months, but the last month has been terrifying. I'm physically and mentally exhausted from trying to reassure someone who just wants to die. She has told me the only reason she's still here is because she doesn't want to upset me, but that has recently changed over the last couple of weeks; she's asked for my permission to take her own life!

She was legally admitted into the public mental health system because she was suicidal about 8 months ago, but this only made things worse. She's been in and out of a private psychiatric hospital for her eating disorder, depression and ECT therapy for the past 17 months. Nothing has helped.

For the past month all she has done is cry (continuously), stress over how 'fat' she is, has numerous panic attacks every day, is unable to sit still and has to shake her leg to calm herself down. I've had to take more leave from my job just to ensure her safety.

She's had numerous appointments about the severity of her current condition, and the only solution is to put her back into the public mental health system which is not an option (her last admission was frightening and she was offered drugs!).

I'm at the point now that I don't feel she can recover from this and I really don't know what to do.

Any advice is welcome.

TIA from Concerned (and now overwhelmed and exhausted).

27 replies

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In response to: EXTREMELY Concerned about Daughter

Re: EXTREMELY Concerned about Daughter

I wish so much i could state the companies you can order them with but Sane forums rules wont allow it and they will remove the posts unfortunately.

Hopefully you will be able to find them via Google or alternatively some Intergrative G.P's or naturopaths may know the names of the Pathology companies where you can self-order.

Unfortunately, the Australian Mental Health System usually focuses purely on Psychiatric medicines or Psychological treatment (talk therapy,CBT).

They often dont order tests such as PET scans for patients with Psych type symptoms,rarely order EEG's and there is little awareness or "remeberance" that many other things can cause Psych type symptoms such as thyroid dysfunction,vitamin deficiencies,young onset Dementia,errors of metabolism,M.S,TLE,cushings disease and so on...

Psychiatric medications and/or Psychological treatment definatelyhelp many people but also theres many people that it doesn't help and they are left with chronic symptoms.

The field of Psychiatry needs a "shake up" and modernising and greater utilisation of imaging for people with Psych symptoms and greater recognition of the physical aspects of illnesses such as Depression (eg;oxidative stress,mitochondrial dysfunction,Neuroinflammation,excess cytokine production etc) which have been shown in research studies.

In response to: Re: EXTREMELY Concerned about Daughter

Re: EXTREMELY Concerned about Daughter

Hi Ivana,

Is it allowed to advise what I should actually google? Any help appreciated.

Thanks in advance.

In response to: Re: EXTREMELY Concerned about Daughter

Re: EXTREMELY Concerned about Daughter

Perhaps google functional pathology australia

In response to: Re: EXTREMELY Concerned about Daughter

Re: EXTREMELY Concerned about Daughter

Thanks so much.

In response to: EXTREMELY Concerned about Daughter

Re: EXTREMELY Concerned about Daughter

My advice is to put her onto Lifeline straight away - she probably has decades of stuff to talk out that she's not aware of and doesn't know how to reach. 13 11 14 - most operatives are good and she can call them as much as she needs to. Being heard is very important for someone with mental illness and lots of people with mental illnesses don't even realise how much they need to talk stuff out. My advice is to get her onto Lifeline straight away (13 11 14) and give her privacy while she makes the calls. I hope this helps. And pray. Maybe pray with her.

In response to: Re: EXTREMELY Concerned about Daughter

Re: EXTREMELY Concerned about Daughter

Kidsline is 1800 55 1800. Try to get her talking out her stuff straight away, somewhere private, over and over again, as much as she needs to with Lifeline (13 11 14) or Kidsline. I have said a pray for you both too.

In response to: EXTREMELY Concerned about Daughter

Re: EXTREMELY Concerned about Daughter

Hi Terry,
Thanks for your concern and advice. My daughter has on numerous occasions contacted lifeline but with no success. I pray everyday that she'll get better but it's getting less and less likely.

In response to: Re: EXTREMELY Concerned about Daughter

Re: EXTREMELY Concerned about Daughter

Keep trying Lifeline (13 11 14) or Kidsline 1800 55 1800

She will benefit from talking her stuff out. Try again. It's very healing to talk stuff out and Lifeline and Kidsline are confidential and caring. She can call them 24 for times a day if she needs to until she feels better. I was the same when I was young and am now a multi-awarded writer. Get her onto the phone.

In response to: EXTREMELY Concerned about Daughter

Re: EXTREMELY Concerned about Daughter

Goodness gracious me @Concerned, @MummyMountain and @mia1. I have just read this post and am at a loss to know what to say other than I commend all of you for having so much strength. I am wondering what is going on in the mental health care system as it appears to be failing you all.

My thoughts about this centre around an involuntary admission to hospital under the Mental Health Care Act because I believe that each of these individuals needs to be in 24/7 professional and supervised care not at home. I can't begin to imagine how difficult it would be to deal with this on an ongoing basis without rest/respite or any signs of improvement. This is simply not sustainable over a lengthy period of time without something giving and my concern is that either they will come to grief or all of you as carers will crack due to the ongoing pressure of caring for these very troubled young people.

I believe @ivana is on the right track by suggesting that further testing be conducted to eliminate other possible causes. It would be worth getting second, third and fourth opinions from other mental health practitioners to see if they have a different approach to treatment and possibly to instigate having some of the tests performed which @ivana suggested.

This is extremely hard work and I hope all of you are trying to squeeze in some self-care along the way because this is what is going to maintain your strength. Also never hesitate to call any appropriate help lines for support for yourselves as well.

Janna ❤️

In response to: Re: EXTREMELY Concerned about Daughter

Re: EXTREMELY Concerned about Daughter

Hi all,

I've contacted a health professional that will be able to order these tests and look into the other medical conditions that Ivana suggested. Hopefully we will get some good results and try something different because everything we have tried over the last 12 years hasn't worked.

Problem is I can't get her into the appointment until mid February. Hopefully that won't be a problem.

Thanks all for your advice.

And yes, I have no idea why the mental health system doesn't work. It seems ridiculous that someone could be 'too sick' to be admitted into hospital and left in the care of inexperienced family members.

Concerned.

11 - 20 of 27