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Something’s not right

I want to leave my husband

I want to leave my husband

I can't stand my life with him he barely talks to me and plays on his phone most nights. When he does talk he is angry and tells me off about everything I do.

I am scared to leave because I have a mental illness and I don't have a job, we also have 2kids. I don't feel love him anymore because he is always angry at me.

3 replies

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In response to: I want to leave my husband

Re: I want to leave my husband

This is not a good situation @Lilyq - it's something serious - and something to think through carefully

The way he's treating you is a form of abuse - it doesn't matter if he doesn't actually hit you - unless he does - he is not treating you with the respect you deserve

I understand you have an MI and have two children - I take it they are young yet - and so you don't have a job but many of us here have been through something like this - and the children are a good reason to get support and find a way to leave

It's important to not that the issue of physical abuse exists - if he doesn't hit you now he might if he is angry enough so it is something to plan very carefully

It's not at all something you should allow your children to see - they are too young to understand yet but it will impress them in some way - so you need to seek help

I had help a few times with my marriage - it took a long time to end a marriage that was sad - I didn't want to break my vows but in the end I did

So you need to find some help and set this up before you start to plan - are your parents around or any other family who would help

I know you are afraid - it takes a lot of strength and planning. There are agencies that can help you - I don't know what to suggest myself but they are there and someone else might be able to suggest some

All the best with that

Dec

In response to: I want to leave my husband

Re: I want to leave my husband

Hi @Lilyq. It's a really hard situation when you feel something is wrong in your relationship but you're scared to leave too. I remember what that was like for me (with kids also) and how I felt so stuck sometimes. It seemed like any choice I could make would have consequences and flip sides, and I really didn't know what to do sometimes.

I don't much about your situation, but am also wondering whether you have support around you (friends, family, professionals etc)? Living with relationship challenges and mental health issues while parenting can be pretty overwhelming. It can help to get information on how to work through these kinds of situations and to talk decisions like this over with different people sometimes, I found.
Here are a couple of services I have found useful before. Family Relationships have an advice line and website with lots of information about relationship difficulties, parenting, separation etc. Similarly I have found Parentline helpful before as they were able to listen to and support me with concerns I had about parenting during the challenges we have faced. There is also 1800RESPECT who can support you if you're experiencing, or wondering whether you're experiencing, family and domestic violence.
There are lots of people on the forum with different experiences managing relationships, mental health challenges and parenting, to talk with also so it's great to see you here. Hope you keep connecting here if it helps.

In response to: I want to leave my husband

Re: I want to leave my husband

Hi @Lilyq,

This sounds like a really hard situation in many ways. How long have you been feeling like this, wanting to leave but afraid to? To add to all of @CheerBear's great reccommendations, you might also consider calling Wire: 1300 134 130 or contacting Relationships Australia. Of we are available for you at the Help Centre also, if you'd like to talk things through.

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