very upset and disappointed real life sucks can I come back :(

Hi everyone I desperately need some advice on dealing with my mother. I cannot believe I have hit 52 and I am still asking for advice on how to deal with her but here I am. She is coming up tomorrow to visit and basically told me that she did not want to hug my daughter or go out for coffee with her because my daughter (suffering depression) does not wash her hair and has some dandruff in it.

She told me basically to deal with it. She said she was embarrassed by my my daughter ... Luckally my daughter has something else on so it shouldnt be an issue but it really hurts that she, my mother, grandmother to my children, can be so shallow, I mean who cares on what my daughter looks like. My mother is no oil painting either but my daughter doesnt judge her.

Plus I had a neighbour tell me I was letting myself go ... whilst looking at my stomach. Wonderful. Real life sucks. I am not impressed by it at all.