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Schizophrenic Mum

SilkCutSouvenirNew Contributor03 May 2018, 12:38 pm AEST

Schizophrenic Mum

My Mum has been diagnosed with Schizphrenia and Bipolar Disorder 2. I've been living with it since I was about 8, and after my Dad left I had to become her carer.

It's been quite hard especially of late, she has never taken her meds. The only time she ever did was when she was on a community treatment order, however as soon as the order was over she was back off them. After helping her work and get a boyfriend both of these have fallen through, with her psychosis coming back. I got very use to the hours I got away from it all, but now that she's back home all the time again, it's so overwhelming I'm not sure how to deal with it. I know that she needs help but, in all honesty unless I was to send her to hospital, she won't accept it. It puts me in an awkward position, the public mental health system isn't the greatest, and the closest Mental Health is Cumberland/Westmead and it can be quite dangerous and scary for her. I feel guilty, but I just want to help her.

What's been harder lately is that after a few years of not dating anyone so they didn't have to deal with me, I entered a relationship which has been nice, and she's helped me massively. However with my Mums worsening psychosis she's under the impression that my Girlfriend is evil much like she use to say with my Step Father. She becomes increasingly jealous and hostile towards her putting me in the middle of the two them, I don't know what to do.

I'm also diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, after years of being lost in negativity I'm finally trying to help myself to help those around me as well. However I'm at the point where I'm lost, the negativity of the situation is too much to deal with.

I'm not really sure what to do, I feel like I need a holiday but I can't afford it on the Carers payment. Is it wrong of me to have to send my Mum to hospital. I just find it hard to see her destroy herself like this, and obviously I cannot provide the help needed anymore. I just want to be able to be happy and not exist only in suffering.

Sorry for how this all came out, it's all quite bad at the current moment I just want to be happy, but I'm not sure I can do it without this massive feeling of guilt that I haven't done enough to help my Mum.

2 replies

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In response to: Schizophrenic Mum

Unknown userMember03 May 2018, 8:24 pm AEST

Re: Schizophrenic Mum

Hi @SilkCutSouvenir,

Firstly, I'd like to warmly welcome you to the forums I hope you find it a supportive place to share your experience and connect with other members.

I would imagine that caring for your mum since you were 8 would have been incredible hard for you at times. I can hear that the amount of time you are spending in the caring role is overwhelming, particularly when you are put in the middle of things between your mum and you girlfriend.

It sounds as though the relationship with your girlfriend has been a really positive thing for you, which is really great to hear. It is important to have this when you are going through a stressful/challenging time. Also being in a place where you are wanting to help yourself is great to hear. Do you have any supports in place at the moment? Having someone that you speak to about what is going on may help with feeling lost and overwhelmed.

I can hear that you have done a lot over the years to care for your mum. It can be hard when a loved one is resistant to getting the help and support they need and there is a limit to what we can do for them. We can be there to support them and notify the local hospital if it is appropriate, the rest is up to them. You deserve to be happy and to pursue things that will give you that happiness.

I'm not sure if you have meet two fabulous carers here on the forums @Faith-and-Hope and @Shaz51. They may have some more suggestions or advice on being in a caring role

In response to: Schizophrenic Mum

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor04 May 2018, 11:02 am AEST

Re: Schizophrenic Mum

Hi @SilkCutSouvenir and welcome to the forums .......

Wow, you have had an awful lot to contend with from a young age. My mother’s mother had menta illness struggles while my Mum was growing up, and in those days there was little understanding or support ..... it was a matter of managing any which way you could. My Mum had a high level of empathy which may have developed as a result.

One way to meet others here is by typing key words into the Search bar, and topic threads will come up for you. Join in anywhere, however you will see by the dates of posts now active a thread has been ..... or not .....

Another way is to join in more social threads. If you click on the forum Home page and select Carers Forum, a list of discussion topics will present there. One is Social Spaces ..... so have a browse to see if something interests you .....

Otherwise I can tag you in to Hot Chocolate Anyone ? which is a virtual coffee shop where we tend to chat socially and unwind a bit, but it’s a great way to get to know others, and they will tag you to more serious topics if you indicate an interest.

Here also is a link to Carer’s Australia which may be helpful for additional support.

http://www.carersaustralia.com.au

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