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Alone

Flower88Senior Contributor28 Apr 2018, 6:25 pm AEST

Alone

Hi Everyone

I have suffered bad panic attacks and chronic dizziness (persistent postural perceptual dizziness) for 2 years. I’m on medication now to help with that and so far side effects haven’t been bad. I need help with an issue with all of this is that I no longer want to be around people, I’m embarrassed if something happens to me in public. I just don’t want to be around anyone and just sit in my room watching movies all day and fantasising about my life that I wish I had. Any tips on how I can over come this? I don’t even want to date and I’m 29

5 replies

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In response to: Alone

Unknown userMember28 Apr 2018, 8:01 pm AEST

Re: Alone

Hi @Flower88 - i wish i had some advice or ideas for you but i have similar difficulties with being with people or being out. worry that i'll get anxious and that people will see and know. Or that i'll make a mistake of some kind or another.. i also tend to isolate myself. hoping that someone else has some ideas though, its a good thing to talk about.
Hope you're going ok tonight
Take care

In response to: Alone

Sans911Senior Contributor28 Apr 2018, 8:22 pm AEST

Re: Alone

@Flower88- it's a double edged sword. The more we isolate, the less likely we become motivated to go out. And so getting back out there is really hard. Is there a trusted family member or friend you can go out with that knows your history? And why don't you just start with coffee just outside your front or back doors. If you have a verandah, maybe start with sitting out there by yourself. Just start slowly, say 10-15mins and build on that. Then perhaps if you can get someone to be with you, walk to your front gate. Stand there for a bit. As much as you can tolerate. Then go to the kerb. And walk to the neighbours house. Eventually, once you've spent time tackling these tiny steps, only as you can tolerate, you can get to the point of getting more comfortable. Don't worry about dating for this moment. You need to be more comfortable dealing with people.

Perhaps in time when your anxiety settles, you could get someone to take you to a quiet supermarket. Just go there and if you can, buy one thing. If you only make it to the front door, it's not a catastrophe or epic fail. Every day brings a fresh start, a new chance to wipe the slate of yesterday clean and try again.

Are you prescribed any medication to help you when you go out to manage your anxiety levels? If not perhaps speak to your GP or psychiatrist.

I've suggested to someone else too to have a reward system. Like if you have a calendar, put a gold star on it for every little goal achieved. When you get to 5, reward yourself with something you normally wouldn't have. Make that treat worthwhile because you earned it.

I hope some of this might help.

In response to: Re: Alone

Unknown userMember30 Apr 2018, 12:06 pm AEST

Re: Alone

Hi @Flower88,

The cycle of isolation and lonliness that you are describing sounds hard to manage. Its great that you are participating here, and I hope that the support of members might make you feel less alone in this? I can understand the fear that you have around something going round whilst attemptimng to socialise and how hard that would be to navigate. Sometimes identifying just one or tow people who you can confide in can be a helpful place to start. Do others on the forum have ideas to offer @Flower88?

In response to: Re: Alone

AppleblossomSenior Contributor30 Apr 2018, 12:16 pm AEST

Re: Alone

Hello @Flower88

When I was at gym I learned about the concept of proprioception. I had a lot of physical issues which drove me out to do rehab. I encourage you to use more physical approaches, even exercises at home. Getting out as a discipline, can help when you are ready for it. Just seeing others going about their daily business and doing grocery shopping etc. Take care.

In response to: Alone

Unknown userMember30 Apr 2018, 5:22 pm AEST

Re: Alone

@Flower88Hello, I am so sorry to hear about your situation.

I wanted to share some of my experiences, knowing they will not be the same as yours, but hoping they may offer some suggestion you might not have yet thought of to help you deal with your situation. I hope I do not offend and hope you find some moments of respite from the awfuls of the situation soon. If I have it wrong I apologise in advance.

About three years ago I was diagnosed with vestibular disorder, probably due to a virus. It's a most disconcerting situation, and while mine is/was different from yours, I can empathise with both the dizzyness and the anxiety issues. I already had major anxiety issues and this just added to them even though I have an anti anxiety medication that I use when needed.

A new gp after consulting with my pharmacist, prescribed me some meds for the dizzyness and nausea, which have worked wonders for me meaning I could move more often and with greater agility without the debilitating effects usually exhibited.

More recently I began using a silcone type of ear plug to block sound and that has been a great boon as well, affecting remissions of the near constant tinnitus as well.

Ear care is of utmost importance to me keeping my balance and reducing the symptoms. You may know about ear care and how water/ hair care products can aggravate balance conditions, although this might not be relevant to your situation.

To combat the loss of balance potentials, I learned to walk sofly, slowly and with great care and to turn slowly so as not to set it off. It has settled significantly in the last little while.

In short, I relearned how to move and also to avoid anything that sets it off, like flashing lights, too much brightness, and other things. Yours will be different I'm sure. What I'm trying to suggest is that there might be small things you have not yet thought of that can be slowly changed over time to help accomodate these symptoms and help make your life a little more pleasant.

Start small, leave the dating for a time somewhere in the future, others here have made some excellent suggestions also.

Hopefully you will find a way to accomodate these symptoms and find there can be pleasant moments in your day.

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