Service Spotlight//SANE Peer Ambassadors Program//27 April - 4 May

That despite it all. People will make judgements that are unfair, even just by being silent and not relating.

Thanks so much @Appleblossom for your response! I totally agree with you - whoever is listening to our story brings their own experiences and truths which dont always support or connect with our own. We always encourage our Peer Ambassadors to recognise that their lived experience is their truth and no one can take that away from them. Although we must respect other people's views, they dont replace or counteract our own stories and journeys. How do you look after your wellbeing in times when you have felt like this?

Hi @Former-Member,

i think just from sharing our stories on the forum there is often a bit of a cycle. At first there is a sense of relief and almost euphoria once it’s out. Then comes the panic and maybe regret at what have I done. This also coincide with massive fear of rejection. So you sit on edge until you get some feedback. Then gradually it just fades away and I am mostly ok with what I’ve shared. It does cause lots of anxiety but over time you build confidence and a bit of resilience I think as you share things.

I think the biggest thing is working out what to share. I fear over sharing too.

Still working on a strategy for that. @Former-Member

Mostly I think people would prefer me to pretend my life was different. They do not want to know.

What do you suggest?

I used to worry about the over share business @Teej but in the end gave it away.

Hi @Teej,

That cycle is incredibly familiar amongst so many of our Peer Ambassadors, especially at the beginning of their sharing journey; we call it Sharers Remorse and is completely normal 🙂 We work really closely with our Ambassadors to manage sharing boundaries during our training, so that people feel safe in what they are willing to disclose and aren't right from the offset. This of course will evolve over time, and at different times of the year and depending on the person/ people you are sharing with. Once you decide these boundaries in your own time and in advance, this makes it much easier to accept or disnegage with others questions. Ultimately, we always use the question 'is this helpful, for you and others, to share this?' Time can give us lots of clarity too.

A lot of our Ambassadors talk of the validation they achieve from sharing and this would make total sense in connection to your comments about feedback; this is why we get all our community organisations to complete an evaluative form at the end of a presentation so that I can then demonstrate the powerful and incredible impact each presentation has. This is really important - that the story isnt just released into empty space.

You're right though, with time and experience, the validation is achieved from the sharing itself and the incredible courage and resilience it takes to do so, even if you have shared multiple times.

Thank you so much for this insightful comment - it really confirms that this experience is a common one 🙂

@Appleblossom - I think all our Peer Ambassadors are regularly working on their self care and wellbeing after sharing; you are definitely not alone here. I think that when we feel like our journeys arent being respected or acknowledged by certain individuals it's really important to connect with those who DO love us and accept us for our journeys and experiences, and spend time doing things that contribute positively to our wellbeing after these difficult experiences and will 'refill our cup'.

Independent to mental illness, we are all human and have qualities and traits which make up who we are - we arent perfect but the people who are worthy of our time will love us for us and will appreciate us for who we are; not simply the person they would like us to be.

Thank you so much for being vulnerable and sharing this reality.

Hello @Former-Member

just from sharing our stories on the forum, on the carers or the Lived experience forum , the first step of sharing our story is the first step

@Shaz51I definitely agree - it's a huge step and one that takes huge courage and with the support of a community like the forums and in a training workshop, it can make all the difference at the beginning 🙂

Hi @Former-Member This conversation is so appropriate for me right now, as I am considering sharing my own lived experiences. So I have been re-reading and thinking over this discussion since it was posted.

And @Teej has said it so well about the concern of oversharing. Which is one of my concern or challenges as well. How do you know what is enough or too much? And I understand training helps with that. But I also look it from the angle of what resonates with the information you share if different with everyone. So while one person might not feel comfortable or disagree with some aspect of what you are sharing, another will be nodding their head all along and will approach after and thank you for making them feel less alone.

Another challenge I have when stepping out into the lived experience spotlight is the impact of my story on my career, my family and my friends. I have not shared much of my experiences outside of professionals; not even my mother. There are many reasons for this. But I am particularly concerned about my career, which there is little left of now anyway. Unfortunately, I have been judged quite harshly and been treated the worst by the very peers I work with. So I am concerned about loosing respect, tarnishing my reputation and spoken off behind my back.

The people that know me really well are incredibly encouraging and supportive, and I get used to the idea of sharing my story further, I have begun to share little bits and peices of my experiences and mental illness journey with others. in doing this has been a sharing of their own stories, their own 'me too'. And I have found the judgment and discrimination far less in the local community. They understood not only the symptoms of their illness but also the challenges of stigmatisation, discrimination and judgement.

With regards to my career, I have effectively mostly resolved many of the concers I have had. I have spoken to professionals in the mental health sector about my concerns as well as reflected on my own career and where possibly it is going, or not going. With this reflection came a realisation that at the end of the day I am human too, and many of my peers have endured mental illness, and have shared little of their experiences or stories for the same concerns I have. I think it is time, however, to bring our stories out into the open more, and show that we are just as vulnerabe as anyone else. I also hope that by sharing my story and experiences, and having my peers listening to it will lead to an increased awareness and understanding and a resolution r reduction in the current state of discrimination and unfair negative judgements.

Hello @Sans911 - it's so wonderful that this conversation and thread has connected with some of your own considerations and reflections at the moment.

Often, at the beginning of this journey, we feel that we need to share all of it in detail for it to have impact and to feel we have been honest. This is not the case. There is a place for this type of sharing in a therapeutic conversation with a treating professional, which helps us process and navigate our experiences.

The aim when sharing is often to connect with our listeners to the extent that they feel their experiences have been validated, but not to the point where they feel overwhelmed and distressed. Often, repeating that trauma ourselves is also not necessary or helpful either. Simply hearing someone be honest about a difficult experience touches people more than we realise because so many of us struggle to share the difficult times.

I tend to believe that there are two things we need to think about when wondering, as you ask, what is enough or too much.

a) Is the content you are considering sharing helpful i.e. will it encourage or deter help seeking? Will it provide and inspire hope or helplessness? Does it educate and raise awareness or re stigmatise? Often going into detail about journeys which include trauma are too difficult to hear and repeat.

b) If in doubt, leave it out 🙂 If something is causing you too much deliberation, it's always better to refrain and come back to it later - perhaps at a later stage or with a different audience and reconsider. This is much safer for all, than to include everything because one cant retract that later. This relates to your comment about your career later on. We have made amazing progress with how society views mental illness, but we still have a long way to go. Subsequently, if this is something you are concerned about, it's okay to take baby steps with your sharing; we cant control how people react to our journeys but we can control how, what, when and where we share it.

Whatever you include @Sans911 will demonstrate vulnerability and courage and THIS is what resonates - the wonderful human capacity to be emotionally risky; it's not the content as much but the act of sharing which reduces isolation.

It's also important to acknwoledge that whatever we choose to share, we all have our own truths and the likelihood is that some people will challenge those. The key is how we use those challenges as an opportunity to show compassion, respect and address misunderstandings.

It sounds like you have been having some really supportive conversations with the right people - keep on with this! It's okay to be vulnerable, but with the right people who are ready to embrace that vulnerability. It sounds like this is something you have thought about carefully and it has given you some amazing insights about going forward from here.

Thank you so much for sharing your experiences, concerns and worries - it's been really lovely to process these with you here 🙂