WhimSenior Contributor
Hi there after SUCH a long gap...
Hi all,
I don't know why or how, but my account is suddenly working again after probably a year or more. For some reason I just couldn't log on anymore, which left me feeling quite bereft! I have noticed how this forum, and you guys, have helped me so much when I go through 'blues' because in my many down times since last posting, I have wanted to turn to 'SANE' so many times as a tool to help me.
I've just had a bad run - hurting myself physically and wanting to finish it. But now I am more stable, and am trying to be positive. since I last wrote my Psychiatrist has diagnosed me as Bi-polar 2, a diagnosis that to some degrees I disagree with, but hey. The drug regime I am on seems to help with stopping the big crashes downwards, but I still move from happy to desperately sad.
My boy has officially been diagnosed autistic, and so services will commence to help him in a few weeks, such a long-winded process, but so glad to have OT and Speech pathology etc on board now to help him navigate the world better.
I was just talking to a friend about 'good enoough' parenting... For any parents out there, I feel terribly guilty when I am down and can only lie in bed, feed my son and breathe in and out. The ipad gets over-used, same with the TV, and microwave dinners with a veg or two become the norm - stirring or chopping etc are just WAY to hard at these times! (I'm sure many of you know that feeling!) I know I have to forgive myself at these times, as I am unwell, and an doing 'good enough'. He still is told I love him, he is fed, clothed and hugged. I think we all should remember that at times we have to just do 'good enough' for those reliant on us...
My mother is on her way down as I type for a few days.... SHe triggers me enormously, and it was out of an argument with her that I chose to hurt myself. I take full responsibility for MY choice or action, I am just saying that she gets me so stirred up.... My mother is very insecure and has had a hard time in her past. Her responses are often not her fault - she just doesn't know how else to be.
Thank God I have reconnected with you guys. You are an amazing community f people who are brave, honest, sincere, kind and caring. I'm lucky to have you all.
Whim
