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Piggy in the Middle

BlackCat13Senior Contributor14 Apr 2018, 6:48 pm AEST

Piggy in the Middle

Struggling a lot tonight. I have reached the point of feeling empty and numb.

On Easter Monday night I ended up having to tell my parents that my sister and her husband are separating because she couldn't or wouldn't. Needless to say they are devastated and not coping very well. I have become the piggy in the middle between my sister and our parents. It is starting to take it's toll on my MH again and I feel like I have slipped back into the darkeness tonight but the weight of needing to be there for everyone is starting to feel suffocating. I know my sister's relationship is not my problem but the aftermath for my family is something I cannot escape.

I also know this darkness will eventually lighten and I just have to be strong to get through it, but is not an easy thing to do.

3 replies

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In response to: Piggy in the Middle

Unknown userMember14 Apr 2018, 7:00 pm AEST

Re: Piggy in the Middle

Hi @BlackCat13,

I know the feels I have been in your position more then once. Actually currently in that position with my mother and nan as my nan has chosen to do an operation that my mum is completely against.
Dont down grade yourself being in that situation is tough and most people I know would break straight away you show amazing strength still holding it together even if just barely.
I'm gonna pass on a bit of advice given to me, tell them both to be adults and talk to each other and not through you. While not easy (believe me I know) it does lighten the load for you.

In response to: Piggy in the Middle

frogSenior Contributor15 Apr 2018, 7:57 am AEST

Re: Piggy in the Middle

Hello @BlackCat13 it's a really difficult position to be in. I have/am dealing with being the go between for my kids and their father., who left us without warning for another woman and another family. I know it's exhausting, and you sound like the sort of person who feels the weight of family stuff and tries to do the best by everyone. I did that for decades and it wore me down. What I would suggest is working on some boundaries around what you can and can't do for others. I needed a lot of support to do this and am lucky to have a good psychologist. I feel for you. Hang in there.

PS I really like your profile picture.

In response to: Re: Piggy in the Middle

Unknown userMember16 Apr 2018, 4:55 pm AEST

Re: Piggy in the Middle

Hi @BlackCat13, it sounds like a difficult situation being stuck in the middle like that. I hope things have begun to lighten, at least a little.

I think @frog and @Former-Member have some great suggestions in clarifying where your boundaries lie in terms of being there for everyone, although I know this can be easier said than done. You might like to check out this Topic Tuesday about boundary setting that happened on the Forums a while back.

I’m sorry to hear that it is beginning to take a toll on your MH. Do you have support for you right now?

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