Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

47,612Members
1,358,869Posts
1,400,000Visitors

I’ve developed feelings for my psychologist

Lily3Casual Contributor14 Apr 2018, 1:01 pm AEST

I’ve developed feelings for my psychologist

I started seeing a psychologist for depression and anxiety in March 2016. I had seventeen sessions with him in total and my last session was in November last year. Approximately nine or ten sessions in I realised that I was starting to develop feelings for my psychologist. I realise that it is stupid and ridiculous but nevertheless the feelings are still there even though it has been five months since I saw him. Appearently it happens quite a bit and is called ‘transference’. No matter what I do I cannot seem to get him out of mind and it is affecting my mental health. I honestly wish I had not gone to see him in the first place as it has made everything worse. I am after some advice or suggestions on what I should do. Has this happened to anyone else? I obviously do not want to tell my psychologist about my feelings as that would be extremely embarrassing and awkward but I need to get some help with this. Should I talk to my doctor or another psychologist about it? Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated - thank you.

3 replies

1 - 3 of 3

In response to: I’ve developed feelings for my psychologist

BunniekinsSenior Contributor14 Apr 2018, 1:41 pm AEST

Re: I’ve developed feelings for my psychologist

@Lily3 Hi Lily3 and welcome to the forums.I had a huge crush on my psychiatriast I used to call him Dr Gorgeous.. anyway it ended on a rather funny embarrasing note... that was okay as long as it is a long time before I meet up with him again. I talked with people here and in rl and it really helped about it and you are right it is very common and I believe nothing to be worried about.

If you would like to discuss it further by all means discuss it with your doctor or another psychologist .If you are feeling really brave you could talk to the psych in question.

You are definately not strange in having these feelings.

In response to: Re: I’ve developed feelings for my psychologist

NikNikSenior Contributor17 Apr 2018, 8:01 am AEST

Re: I’ve developed feelings for my psychologist

Hi @Lily3

I just want to reiterate what @Bunniekins has said, which is that it's not uncommon for this to happen and you shouldn't be embarrassed. Someone who listens, understands and helps are all qualities we look for in a significant other - they are appealing traits!

You have said it's impacting your mental health though, which is problematic (especially when the point is for therapy to have a positive impact ).

It's completely reasonable to share your concerns with your psychologist, and it's up to you how much you share. You could share what you have shared here or you could simply let them know you're feeling uncomfortable and would like to see someone else. Trust me, most psychologists have heard it all and should be prepared for issues like this to pop up.

Are you open to seeing someone else?

I'm interested to hear how other members have dealt with this also.

In response to: I’ve developed feelings for my psychologist

Unknown userMember17 Apr 2018, 8:25 am AEST

Re: I’ve developed feelings for my psychologist

Hi @Lily3, @Bunniekins and @NikNik

I have had a similar situation but at the opposite feelings. I disliked my psych and didn't trust him at all. It eventually boiled down to I didn't trust male adults at the time but even now I still don't like him and definitely would not see him again and that was just under 10years ago. I suppose trust is still an issue for me but you can change psych and you don't (although they will ask for it) have to give a reason. When I was asked for a reason I just said personality clash so it was simple but I was told that I did not have to give a reason at all.

1 - 3 of 3