Hold on tight, this ride is a wild one

Hi @Former-Member

Can so relate to your posts. I think for me it is the things that I once did easily and didn't think anything of, that now feel like monumental tasks to complete. Meeting someone for coffee used to be so easy, now it leaves me overwhelmed, uncomfortable and anxiety ridden.

I am not sure if I have dealt with it. I think that it is going to take me a long time to feel at ease. My wild ride is my flashbacks. They come from nowhere and I don't even need triggers. It is like a flick of a switch and things go from 0 to 100 in a matter of seconds. No warnings, no lead up, nothing.

@Former-Member@Snowie and everyone who reads the thread. Great thread Kirin. My wild rides are walking the streets at 3am or sh because the voice in my head says I should or thinking there is a camera watching me in my computer screen or checking for hidden cameras throughout the house or dancing to all hours because my voice told me to and the rest I cannot say.

@Former-Member Thanks Kirin.

@BunniekinsI know some of your meds help with these, but still terrifying to have. I hope all went well with the new pdoc too.

@Former-MemberTo me, flashbacks are the same as what you have described, triggers for me are things that bring on the flashbacks or memories of past trauma. In saying that, I don't have to have triggers for a flashback to occur.

When they happen I try a variety of different things. Reading a script, 5 senses, listening to recordings, distraction, sensory box. These are the main ones with a few more thrown into the mix. Do they help, sometimes. Other times it feels like nothing helps.

@Former-Member @Bunniekins @Snowie I hear you. The wild ride is exhausting. For me it's mood. The fact that it's eratic knocks my confidence and is anxiety provoking. As to how to deal ... still working on that. I have some maladaptive methods - like eating. I try not to beat myself up about not coping/struggling because it just adds to the troubles. I trust my pdoc and tdoc, which has not been the case with previous ones, and it's reassuring that they're there.

Good morning,

so while we are all holding on tight on our own wild ride, how do you cope, talk to others who don't know about your struggles? I find it really difficult to do small talk and to explain what I do. Small talk is difficult because I don't keep up with current affairs, community etc, partially because I don't want to get triggered, but mainly because I have avoided it for so many years as I have tried to live in my own bubble. When it comes to what I do, how can I explain illness / recovery? Do I just lie? I hate that, but I could just focus on some parts of my truth and leave other parts out. I always feel split in that decision as I don't want to hide my illness, but I also don't want to overshare with people I don't really know. In small talk I just don't get to know the other person. I've always hated small talk, but now I get anxious days, weeks before. And I know I need to mingle and get out of my safe little bubble. Another strategy I developed is say a short answer and change the subject. That seems to work a lot, because a lot of people really love talking about themselves.

What do you do when you cannot avoid small talk?