Averting a Disaster

Hi @perseverer,

After a long period of weird behaviour and instability, my son completely shut down (could not speak or move) and hospital was the only option. He was 21 at the time. For a while, he hated me intensely for putting him in hospital (that's how he saw it) but now it's a different story and that initial stay was how the treatment started. As @Former-Member mentioned, your son's a risk to himself and others. An involuntary hospital stay is likely to be the best option. Suggest calling the CATT team, I hope they work on a Sunday in your location. Make sure they understand it's now a serious crisis.

And for later... re older son, you might have to take control of the meds; making sure he won't run out, dispensing every day. It requires a certain amount of organisation and my son certainly can't manage it. We've even had to work out a system so that he doesn't take meds twice (take them, then forget, then take them again).

I hope today goes OK.

I agree with the above, please ring the CATT team as your son is a danger to himself and others currently. His mental health is also rapidly deteriorating which to my knowledge is also criteria for such. Hope you are able to get the neccesary outside support your son needs soon.

That is my thought too @perseverer ...... CATT team ..... for “danger to self and others” reason, and you need desperate support, which I think we can all hear clearly.

Are you in touch with Carers Australia ?

http://www.carersaustralia.com.au

Quite apart from this current crisis, you need ongoing support.

I know someone whose sister is in a share-house with staff. It sounds like you have a family who warrant a share-house with staff, so you may be able to access a lot of the same sort of support with the idea of remaining in your own home .... ie carers coming in on a daily basis, and finance to adapt the house to needs ..... but I am unsure which department / departments need to be involved.

The premise is that if all the individuals that make up your family require hospitalisation and / or carers, and you require respite, that will load the system much more than supporting you all to remain in your home and familiar circumstances - around urgent treatment for your lighting-fires-son ......

Hi @Faith-and-Hope, @Former-Member, @Former-Member, @patientpatient and @Bunniekins, thank you for all for your comments. We live in a part of Australia where demand for the CATT team is very high and their willingness to come and visit is very low. In particular, they do not like to come unless the patient is compliant. (They demand to speak to the patient on the phone etc) They also do not see the point in coming if there is not an available hospital bed, and usually there is not. My eldest son who has schizophrenia was actually a whole lot more critically ill before he developed psychosis and the CATT team rarely came and were often quite rude when they did come. What they in fact prefer you to do is meet them at the hospital ER. The presence of psychosis makes all the difference. They properly assess you with a view to hospitalization. I have spoken to my middle son and warned him that I will call the CATT team if he shows the risk taking behaviour. The past week he has been more settled. But I avoid the CATT team wherever possible because they tend to be not very nice or helpful people unless schizophrenia is present.

My eldest son has been in shared living facilities and was refused admission the last time he applied because apparently the staff were too traumatised by his last stay to be prepared to take him back. I would like to be able to say specifically why, but I don't think this site will allow it. Other carers do not know my boys like I do. I am good at handling them. I know how to counsel them. I have several times had psychiatrists phoning me late at night to say how much they have personally learnt from watching me handle my eldest son and I have had them phoning me for advice with difficult situations, too. So what I want is not a heap of other people who don't know my family to come into my home. I am the best person to do the job. All I need is to be able to afford to do so.

My eldest son is the one who is in the public system and their attitude is that he is the one of central importance who needs to be protected. Their idea is to rescue him from his family and split the family up. They do not look at the family situation as a whole. They do not consider the stress on the family of having to visit someone not at home frequently. Or whether it is going to be detrimental to some other family person's health for parents to be away from the home directing all their attention to a sibling.

I have had one phone call from Carers Australia which I have to follow up when I get a chance. I am also speaking to a financial advisor to see what I can practically do in my circumstances.

My eldest son is back on his meds and has had one of his anti-psychotics reduced in an attempt to alleviate his restlessness. It appears to be working, so that is good. But his mood is very changeable all the time and he is stlil battling depression and occasional psychosis. The middle son is still creating a lot of filth and havoc and problems with moving things. I think he would like to be getting an income but he needs a lot of help to get to the first step.

I have taken tomorrow off work to sort some things out. One day at a time.

@perseverer

You have such a laden and heart breaking situation.

It should be obvious that the siblings' wellbeing are interrelated.

The fragmentation of approach could well unbalance the positives gained by one child.

I hope Carers can be of support.

It is terrible that the CATT team have been so unresponsive.

Sorry I am bereft of ideas to help, but wanted to acknowledge your very tough gig.

Thank you for this next round of feedback @perseverer ..... and I hope talking to us about it is supportive for you. I agree wholeheartedly that if you can just be given more support to do what you do, it is better to keep the family, and the relationships, functional within the family home.

Hoping that more resources do open up for you through Carers Australia and the financial adviser.

💜💐

Hi @Appleblossom and @Faith-and-Hope, it has certainly helped me get clarity in my thinking, being able to come on this site and vent. I can see much more clearly now what I need to do.

The visit with the financial advisor was extremely helpful. Also, I have found an affordable place in a country area my husband and I used to live in a long time ago. It has a lot that was on my wish list - five bedrooms, a wonderful view, acreage with things growing on it, and also three cottages on the land fully tenanted, so a source of passive income. With income assistance, I should be able to easily afford to live while caring full time for the family. The boys will get a roof over their heads with nothing owing on it and a source of future income, as well as experience with growing produce and raising their own food. I plan to tender my resignation for the end of second term and am flying interstate next weekend to view the property and hopefully make an offer. Thank you all for helping me get to this stage.