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How to cope when triggered by others on the forums.

Eden1919Senior Contributor09 Apr 2018, 12:31 am AEST

How to cope when triggered by others on the forums.

Firstly I want to say I am not blaming anyone nor am I saying anyone should feel they shouldn't post things but I do want to know what one should do if they feel very triggered by other members posts. Or if one is feeling triggered by other members in a more general sense. I suppose I should be more specific for me personally I don't mean that I get triggered by content for example if someone is posting about how much pain they are experiencing or their sense of hopelessness that does not bother me. What has been triggering me lately is when people don't respond to someone who is clearly reaching out desperately for support. Now I can understand that there may be any number of reasons someone (including myself) may not respond to a post of this nature maybe they are not sure what to say and something like that but it still makes me uncomfortable that for what ever reason some people get 'ignored' for lack of a better word. What I mean by this is there are some people who get hundreds in some cases thousands of replies to a topic they have started and are regularly supported by many other forum members no matter what the issue. Then there are others who can repeatedly reach out and get maybe only one or two replies but no ongoing support from the forum community as to that issue. It feels to me like there are certain 'popular' members and not so popular members and that the not so popular members often go unsupported. This issue of some people seemingly getting all the support and others not really quite upsets me and triggers me to feel very alone and rejected quite often. Again I am not blaming anyone but I am wondering if there is a way to address this or if this is someone who understands where I am coming from could please tell me how they cope with it because otherwise I am considering just leaving the forum as it is getting to upsetting for me to feel like I am consistently unwanted everywhere I go but at the same time there have been a few people on here who have made me feel supported. Again no blame just my feelings and not sure what to do. Thanks in advance for anyone who takes the time and effort to read this.

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In response to: How to cope when triggered by others on the forums.

Unknown userMember10 Apr 2018, 8:23 pm AEST

Re: How to cope when triggered by others on the forums.

Hi @Eden1919

I can understand and relate to your post. I have felt like that before. When I’m distressed and don’t get responses I do feel alone. I am also sad to see some posts don’t get answered. I have asked on several occasions to have my account deleted, but with a few days to think about it, normally don’t follow through.

When I look at the posts with 1000+ responses I personally don’t feel like there is an ‘in-crowd’ or popular members. I acknowledge that I have times of absences on the forum and that I only sometimes participate in community threads like ‘Friday night feast’. Main reason for me is that I get overwhelmed by the amount of conversations going on. But hence I don’t ‘meet’ other forum members on a regular base. I personally believe it is not intent that forum members react to some members more than others. Friendships have formed on the forum.

Yes we are supporting each other on the forum, but only to our own ability. When I’m ok, I try to look at the ‘something is not right’ section to scan for any posts that haven’t been answered and see if I can help. Or if there are posts that sound similar to my issues. But I personally cannot scan the forums regularly and it very much depends on my own emotional state. There is no bad intent from my side. It is all I can do.

I hope this helps and if you need me tag me in your post and I will answer you because you are important @Eden1919

In response to: Re: How to cope when triggered by others on the forums.

Eden1919Senior Contributor10 Apr 2018, 11:39 pm AEST

Re: How to cope when triggered by others on the forums.

Thankyou again everyone. i can understand that there are times people dont feel up to replying and my intention was not to make anyone feel that the burden was all on them to reply. i do agree with @Former-Member that a team approach may be best in this situation. i think that perhaps as i believe @Faith-and-Hope said that a different section for all new posts could be a good idea or if post that had been posted within a certain time frame eg. 2 weeks remained pinned at the top of which ever section of the forums they were in so they would not get missed as easily.

i think everyone is coming up with great suggestions and i am pleased that everyone feels free to express themselves and their feelings/opinions on this thread.

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