Fragile

Thanks @Appleblossom I’m feeling very not like me regarding all this housing health stuff. I used to be a nice girl, but I’m all out now. I think being tossed from department to department makes me feel they are gaslighting. I second guess at, haven’t I said that already sooooooo meant times. I was even sarcastic with an MP. Thanked him for ignoring my email and proving how bad mannered they are. 😩😩😩

Ha ha ... they probably deserved it thoroughly. @Maggie I am gathering with your religious background your personality is very geared to being pleasant and polite, like me.

I was pleased by myself, when a rude lady complained about me moving her phone on a chair in a crowded room at the concert. Chairs were a premium ... she is so entitled about her rights and throwing her bad energy around .. she does not care who she upsets ... and she has upset plenty ... I just airily said to my companion, she is fine she has her phone now ... and did not budge an inch over her tirade.

there are good people in the world but rather than taking responsibility for everything ... I am finally learning when other people's probs are ALL their problem and not mine.

So much growing up .. it was showered on my family that we were the ones with problems ...we were not asking for help or complaining or being disruptive ... now I see it ... as just richer family not wanting to be bothered ... by their conscience being pricked by the widow and our poverty ... so I had to both look after myself and siblings and make everyone else feel better about their privileges ... I had not even gotten around to feeling jealous about them ... I am shedding like a snake skin ...and standing tall about all the things in our family that was not a problem ... you have helped me in that ... maggie.

I also try to lighten my anger by joking about having finally found "grumpy ole lady status" ...

My head pain is the most obvious atm ... which is relatively good ... it means that the back and neck are doing alright.... in comparison.

@Appleblossom Sounds like lots of pain there, something I understand, the pain. I got some pain relief meds yesterday because I couldn’t cope any longer. Spine, one day, feet, knees neck and the rest other days. It really affects depression.

Yes to all the background stuff. I’m breaking free of some brainwashing, but a lot is more ingrained, ingraved.

I am naturally gentle and quiet, and think I would have been like this without all the abuse stuff, it just caused so much crushing. Our poverty was obvious to all, having to receive hand outs, hand downs, and being the only girl, I became parent to parents and siblings, even though most siblings were older. The girls were the doers. I would love to shed my carers cap, unfortunately it’s engraved to my head. Lol.

I know we haven’t communicated much, but in other ways we have, or that’s how I see it. I’m not confident and worry about posts. Have I heard it right, said it right, Will I offend. So much shedding to do.

Thankyou for being you, sharing your wisdom, sharing you gift.....you.💕💜

@Sorry @ @

@

Maybe when we feel someone has heard us deeply enough there is not a lot of need for words. @Maggie When I read your story and your general posts to me and to others I feel a strong deep resonance.

I do feel a sense of general responsibility. I have housing security. I have a good education. I have essential needs met. So I try and give back.

I am happy to find your messsage.

I am happy as I have been pottering in the garden.

I understand the difference between being custodial of the land for family and life and owning real estate. There can be overlap, but there are different drivers ...

I am sad as people I have been supporting are losing their battle against bulldozers and earth moving equipment..... literally.

Hey all,

I seem to be picking up on some conflict, i may be incorrect however i did just want to check in with everyone. If anyone is feeling like they need a bit of extra support please reach out to us by email.

Hope everyone is having a lovely day.

Warm Regards,

Turquoise

Thank you @Former-Member

@Appleblossom,

Hello and hugs my @Former-Member , @Maggie , @outlander