Fragile

Ahh the mysteries of the mind aye @Appleblossom ? Wonder if the so called professionals ever really know.

Interestingly, my brother in law was initially diagnosed with schizophrenia, but many years later they amended it to bipolar. And my good friend's son is bipolar but there is also mention of schizoaffective. So not sure there.

I have another friend, long time friend of my late husband, whose grandson was schizophrenic. He was raised by his grandparents since he was a little boy. When schizo developed in his early 20's and you could see his rapid decline, it was so sad. He wouldn't take his meds, got into drugs, and tragically he took his own life at 28. Schizophrenia runs in their family, as his two uncles both also have schizophrenia. They are both compliant with meds and lead a fairly normal life. One of them has a daughter with similar issues. Unsure if schizo, but likely.

Like I said ... the mysteries of the mind. How deeply should you delve I wonder?

I'm really glad Apple that your cats bring you so much pleasure. Pets really are wonderful aren't they? 💞

Hi @Dimity 😊

Oh @Emelia8 sorry to hear about your friend’s grandson taking his life. Mental suffering is so difficult. Drug abuse doesn’t help. Yet, different people tread different paths even with the same diagnosis.

It’s too late for me to stop delving into the mysteries of the mind, now….lol.. I somehow have been required to do that all my life to simply survive and make any sense of the going’s on around me. My family has always been my family, the diagnoses have always been secondary, but part of both my reflection and my physical experiences and locations…. Etc… I had to cope with the orphanages , foster families and extended family, and also the fear of developing schizophrenia myself.

Being close to animals has helped me understand and normalise, like when I was at the zoo. I am terrible with anthropomorphism. lol

Give Hannah a pat from me.

Love apple

Yes I can understand your need to delve and explore in an effort to better understand @Appleblossom 💕😊

I just doubt that we will ever really truly understand all there is to fully grasp the intricate workings of the mind. But anything we can pick up along the way can surely help, right?

And I will definitely give Miss Hannah a pat from you. She will like that 🐕❤️

Agreed @Emelia8 I am at peace for myself with not knowing and appreciating the mysterious and unknowable. Life has endless twists and turns.

I wasn’t the type to dispute until the last 15 years. Mostly I just believed the experts and went along with things.

Our furry friends are healing.

@Appleblossom ❤️

Was feeling very low due to chronic pain…all over

…. Checked lumbar…. back from doctor…But it was just osteoarthritis … good thing is he lowered blood pressure meds…. So that is a win…, I have been cutting them in half anyway…

also reflecting a lot on problems in leadership and on the men question

feeling it is very new for me to be able to say no

or have many real choices at all

Man stuff:

1) man not really my type, too short, too attached to dead wife, too normal and middle class… wasn’t even used to having rice in a meal where I was used to it since childhood, didn’t say thank you when I provided or listened a Lot. I actually think my side of it was just being polite and caring and being a team player in church community… I didn’t…”have feelings “ for him… let him hug me to be nice etc… but he was too money minded even though he denied it

2) man with potential…. Tall enough Outdoorsy, educated and religious, but maybe more religious than truly spiritual or deeply compassionate. Maybe he was burned out by his work in various church church roles… deeply restless … I could wish… I need my vulnerability taken seriously otherwise it is a no go

Leadership stuff… is ongoing in a few different roles … 3 distinct areas

1) at least church choir conductor is respectful and decent to me… Will be singing, playing organ and recorder … so skills used and not being bulldozed by a person who knows how to conduct herself with ethical leadership… also was a secondary teacher but that doesn’t automatically mean good leadership

@Glisten @rav3n @Dimity @Emelia8 @Zoe7 @Shaz51 @tyme @Faith-and-Hope @Eve7 @PeppiPatty @Abner

@avant-garde

thanks for supporting

I wondered if I should include you in tagging list but wasn’t sure if you had too much on your plate

you probably get the depth of my post… juggling institutional childhood and sex abuse

trying to sift through issues and make wise ethical choices

Makes two of us huh @Appleblossom?

You're more than welcome to tag me, I can gauge if I'm up for it or not😉

@Appleblossom is it a distraction from the physical pain of the osteoarthritis?

Has your GP tested your vitamin D levels? And requested a PTH count from pathology?

Hyperparathyroidism or a Parathyroid adenoma is frequently overlooked.

Thanks @avant-garde yep! Different stories, but similar themes

@Glisten Distraction from pain has probably been part of my coping style all along.

I have never pushed for more than the most basic of testing. I will mention it next time I see Gp.

I take vitamin d alternative days…atm.. also get outside to let the sun do its part

I take a mild level of supplements … didn’t want to get too obsessed with them or medical testing