Fragile

Ha ha 😂 @Jynx

Goodnight my friend 🧡

@Dimity

After a certain age, guess we have seen most of the screen offerings…. They need to be worth watching… and hype is not quality… otherwise I’d rather listen to the birds.

you have done pretty well dealing with so many health challenges…

sometimes having a body is a real pain

aint it

you’d know that too @Shaz51

thank goodness for our gardens

@rav3n ah you studied it too

I was also enjoying Nollywood… films about 10 years ago

from Nigeria

had some good distance friends from Africa… til Facebook locked me out of my account

Yes, my son said the same thing re the long series form compared with movies…. That is why I enjoyed Maxima…you couldn’t do justice to the complexity of many psychological and social issues… in the shorter form…. Yet I also love poetry….

@Emelia8 @Jynx @outlander @PeppiPatty

my mum loved Nollywood films, she's a big fan of their humour and expressions. @Appleblossom

oh no!! you couldn't get your Facebook recovered? it's such a confusing process sometimes, hopefully you get a chance to connect with those friends from Africa again.

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@Appleblossom wrote:

Yes, my son said the same thing re the long series form compared with movies…. That is why I enjoyed Maxima…you couldn’t do justice to the complexity of many psychological and social issues… in the shorter form…. Yet I also love poetry….

so true!! there's a poet named Rupi Kaur who wrote the Sun and her Flowers (and immigrant relationship with immigrant parents, specially mum and daughter). the book was super quick read but the impact lasts forever.

I ended up sending parcels by shipping to both Nigerian and Uganda to those friends @rav3n

I chatted with them online through the Covid lockdown era. It was good in that I had read Nigerian authors and could really talk with them about the arts and society and politics. The Ugandan was running a children music project/ combo orphanage.

my son was worried I was being scammed

I did wire them money too, but I felt there was enough genuine need

I let go of Facebook… mostly using the forums as social media

@tyme re the Redress conversation.

I am unsure of the best thing to do regarding the forum. On the one hand, having a thread in the spotlight may bring in people who need an outlet, discussion or information and be a good thing. On the other hand due to the legal side and that money is involved, it may mean some prospective posts contain details that compromise anonymity etc etc and may influence outcomes. Maybe a legal advisor to Sane could give an opinion?

what do you think @rav3n @Shaz51 @Dimity @Emelia8 @outlander @PeppiPatty @Jynx

for me personally, the retraumatising aspects of the process, indicate to me it’s not yet appropriate to do it. Maybe after my son is better settled in a fruitful life for himself and any people he cares about. Maybe when he has left home in a good productive stable way

Absolutely. I agree with what you have said @Appleblossom .

I mainly just wanted to make a space for people to be aware of redress schemes, but I'm mindful of the trauma it may stir up. Happy to steer away from it.

@Appleblossom I haven't been following the Redress conversation.

Perhaps there's space in the forums for mutual support between victim survivors but it would have to be general and non identifying.

For many redress will not be possible because trauma eg CSA occurred in a family setting not an institutional or community one and there'll be complex arguments over the validity and admissibility of frail human memory and circumstance.

When your son is settled and strong enough whether still under your wing or independent I hope he can follow through on the undoubted injustices you've sometimes hinted at and find a level of peace within himself as well as any compensation due. The MH bureaucracies certainly merit analysis and investigation whether informed by personal experience or broader settings and practices.

@outlander I was typing on your chat thread…. Cross posting…. lol… Had a busy morning… went to radiology and supermarket shop .

@Dimity I tagged you into Redressconversation as I value your input. It had started elsewhere. Yes some CSA will not be covered by Redress if it occurred within a family.

Thanks for thinking of my son. I doubt he will get redress for what has happened to him. Mother screams silently.

It’s part of my dilemma. Even if I went through it all the amount I would get is not that big, as it only focuses on the small acts towards me, but not the whole scope of the problem in my family, as in 3 members of the 5 who were in “out of home care” did endure it and it partly lead to 4 premature deaths. They are all dead and cannot collect or give evidence. I have all their files but they are heavily redacted. I had legal advice on the big picture and was advised….after a while…. You will definitely get Redress… just on what is in my file… do that….

So… in a way this is me thinking out loud… getting clarity… don’t worry about it til son is up and running….if I ever do apply and get it… maybe it will just be a good present for him…. I honestly cannot feel any amount of money… will recompense my whole family’s experience…makes me feel like vomiting…

@tyme I am not actually saying… not to discuss it…. Its just that it is tricky. thanks for bringing it up.

it's hard to identify who's scamming and who's genuine online nowadays! i really hope those people weren't scamming you, and that they used the money for good. i can see you have a big heart. @Appleblossom

re the redress, i think i'm a little out of the loop with this conversation too but from what i've read on this thread, i can understand that it can be a difficult and painful process to go through. i agree with you, there's no amount of money that can truly compensate your family's experience. whatever compensation you receive won't change the past, but it could support your son's present/future? i'm also thinking out loud, it is hard when there's risk of retraumatisation too.