Fragile

Hey @Anastasia just checking in. My sister used to bite her nails to that extreme extent too, it seemed very painful but I think for her it was better than engaging in more intense self-harm behaviours. I've shared this image on the forums before because I think it's a brilliant way to frame coping skills, and destigmatise the ones that are considered unhealthy:

I think it's important to remember that they're still about coping, and sometimes coping like this is far better than not coping at all.

This is also why I wanted to touch base with the feeling of 'wanting to fall' - sounds like you're struggling to cope right now. I hope you've got some support around you? You're welcome to talk about how things are going if you feel it could be helpful

Exactly @Jynx it is a milder form of self harm. With all the graphic front and centre SH from my siblings it became my way of being in my body. At least it stopped too much dissociation.

Hugs @Anastasia Yes I do it that extreme. I bit in my childhood, gave up in my early 20s, but took it up big time in my 40s. It is what it is.

Go gently with yourself. I upped my prescribed meds 6 years ago and am in process of bringing them down, but trying to do so without a flare up. Also modelling responsible use of meds. Keeping myself as stable as possible to help son. You know the drill. Also it allowed him to see me as a person with own mental health needs, not just him. Yes my meds went up with his issues, but I still try and contain it. Many meds are prescribed without big attention to diagnosis. Meds help take the edge off, but the issues still need to managed.

You have been under stress for a long time now. Hope you feel better tonight.

Love Apple

Gouldian finches at waterhole

I really like this photo so good to have it on my thread.

Had phone call with son today. We are both just dealing with it, though there are sure to be ups and downs ahead.

Thank you for sharing that image and for your kind words @Jynx 🙏

You too @Appleblossom for getting it and hearing me.

I'm as ok as I can be. I said to my beautiful GP today (not my regular one, I see her for ladies things and after today I wonder why that is) think I'll make her my regular. She REALLY listened. Heard me about my anti medication thoughts, shared a personal story and then gave me the opportunity to make a decision , empowered me by allowing me choices as she understood I have a reasonable amount of knowledge given the history with my boy's meds.

I walked away feeling like it's my choice and understanding just how necessary this is. My regular dr wrote me a script a year ago and I left feeling deflated and never got it filled and saw a psychiatrist for a second opinion.

I'm soaking in a bath now, tears galore but grateful to you both. Thank you 💓

Dear @outlander

Not long winded at all. You have to allow yourself space to say what you need. Yep that is the danger when self denial or punishing is a part of us, that we fiind a new outlet. That is part of the reason I stay with the nail biting even tho some people have been awful about it. It allows me to monitor myself as to how anxious and agitated I feel and then take more soothing action if I can.

Speaking of which ... must be time to run a bath here. When son comes home I dont use his bathroom.

Its warm here. I am back from the guerilla garden and need one.

@Anastasia Love you Bella. I did a similar thing first time I was prescribed ... never filled it out ... it was back when I was breast feeding and I was upset the pdoc did not even enquire. It was about 14 years later I started. I have been on meds for over 20 years, but mostly very low til last 5 years. Still not at the massive amounts they give my son. Its a journey and hang onto your good sense and self respect.

@Appleblossom 🤗❣️🙏

Enjoy your bath you gorgeous soul x

Hugs to you too @outlander 🤗

Ha @Anastasia

Nice and Clean

@Appleblossom

Still cant see your pic @Anastasia

Hope you are getting through the day as best you can.

@Former-Member

Learned something new.

I looked up the etymology of a word today cos I was doing drug research .... agonist/antagonist.

Agony is based on Greek agonia meaning of struggle or contest .... great food for thought.

Not sure why @Appleblossom it's just a bubble bath with candles 😃

Yes I like that food for thought ✔️