Fragile

@Anastasia The fellow that told me to church shop, gave me loan of a book and exchanged phone numbers next time I went there. I have not called him yet, but felt so relieved to see a book on Theology that aligned with my thinking, then he also was doing history of area my ancestors came from and got a lot of things about my history cos he had studied it. Immediately on same page without trying too much. He also was interested in coming to choir concert. He introduced me to both his wives ... lol ... each time it was a different person ... one was an ex ... I checked online and it was legit and consistent with his profile.

Another fellow asked me for coffee.

Also met a few women in "fellowship" who I thought I might get along with ... musically and theologically.

So that is all great ... gives me optimisim ... I need a local tribe ...as I cannot keep up all the travel.

and helps me get over recent issue with Gp and vulnerable slightly confused Christian music friend who has a triggering way and blaming way of expressing his religiosity. Bringing up god's wrath and making out his pipeline to god and faith was better than anything I had experienced ... as he knew all about the fallacy of the religion of my birth ... weary sigh ...but I knew he was frail (serious physical illness) and vulnerable from beginning which is my old pattern ... trying to help the vulnerable from a VERY vulnerable position. Need to learn what is my circus and monkeys ... ala @Faith-and-Hope How are you Bella?

Chipping away at things is one of my mottos too. Anastasia.

😏 Hiya @Appleblossom .....

I actually learned that phrase from @Teej ❣️

Hi @Appleblossom - just checking in how you are? Haven't seen you about for a while. You sound busy. Had to have a chuckle to hear that saying again "not my circus, not my monkeys" 👍 ( hi @Faith-and-Hope @Teej ) good reminder... reminds me of the family caos I've walked away from down south. We do have to distance somehow.

Sound like your working really hard to find your tribe. Hope you do find options closer to home. Love to know how it goes, how you cope with the social anxiety that we all feel from time to time, at different degrees. But guess distancing with these kinds affirmations helps.

With your post, couple days back, was that a list of music books? I'm still waiting for the alto recorder music to arrive (from the US through shop) but really enjoy playing the Alto more than the descant, even just by ear... such a nicer tone 🎶

Not sure why, but I'm feeling really teary / vulnerable lately, hesitant to step out with people, even here.. so my music, the garden, sewing, pup, prayer, you guys and my son keep me going [gosh, sounds good to list like that 🤔] so thanks for being part of that ❣️

sewing music garden pup prayer and son ... is a great list.... its enough ... that way when different social stuff happens ... you are still anchored ... by what counts ... and the social stuff is nice when it works ... but not enough to tip your cart ...

@Former-Member

the depth of the alto is calming for me ...

The list was the different types of music I am currently doing ... piano, recorder and voice. So plenty to keep me busy.

I am good. Had serious share with support wkr about my brother and sister, and then we went for a lovely walk by the beach. It was sunny with bracing wind.

Hugs @Emelia8 @Anastasia

Your walk along the beach sounds nice @Appleblossom and I'm glad you took the time to do so. 🏖

I love to walk along the beach in the earlyish morning and at sunset, mostly when its quiet and mostly deserted.

Its pleasing to hear Apple that you are feeling 'good' right now. 👍💖 Whatever has contributed to that feeling ... try to keep doing it. 😊 Hi @Former-Member 🤗💕 hugs to you and a cuddle for Georgia Girl. 🐶

Emelia

Apple you are wise 🙏💞

@Appleblossom @Emelia8 @Former-Member all her hugs and hugs 💞

Hi @Former-Member .. always a pleasure for me to see you around here. More often than not, you are around in the dead of night, so I dont see you 'live' as such.

Sorry to hear how busy Coles was and that it almost caused a panic attack.

No I rarely get to the beach these days. Until hubby got so unwell 3 years before he died, we used to drive the half hour to our nearest beach. We would go on a Friday, and go for a long walk on the beach with Holly in the morning. She would love it. So long as we were in the water too. Then we would buy fish and chips and have it in the little village before coming home. It was our weekly outing. But then when he was diagnosed with cancer and had all the anti-cancer treatment, and subsequent health issues, we never got there again.

The last time I got to the beach was when I had my week at the resort on the week of my birthday. Thats when a friend from Sydney came and spent a few days with me and then my brother and his wife. I got to the beach every day while there. Just to walk, listen to the waves, smell the ocean, feel the sand under my feet, the cool water lapping my ankles, and hear all the typical beach sounds. I have never been a swimmer nor a sunbather, so none of that for me. Being a redhead I tend to avoid the sun as much as possible. Hence the earlier morning or sunset timing.

I really should make an effort to get to the beach again occasionally. Holly would enjoy it I know, and it would be good for me too. Maybe one day I will get there. It is only a 30 minute drive to our nearest beach, so its not as if its a long way or anything. Something to put on my "should do" list.

My day has been passable, though I have been feeling really down the last week or more ... sad, disappointed, disheartened, misunderstood. Just feeling sorry for myself I guess. I know I shouldnt, and I know I need to shake myself out of this melancholy.

@Appleblossom @Anastasia @Faith-and-Hope @outlander @Shaz51

Emelia

I live 30 minutes away from the beach too @Emelia8 , @Appleblossom , @Former-Member , @Anastasia , @Faith-and-Hope and hardly get there at all , crazy as I love being at the beach like you and hilly @Emelia8 , one day you will and I will try to again one day