Fragile

https://www.health.nsw.gov.au/mentalhealth/psychosocial/principles/Pages/approaches.aspx

I found this page from state government.

Thank you for thinking of me, @Appleblossom.

I wish I had words which could comfort you. I only read a few sentences of the pdf because I stopped reading these 'findings, explanations, research matters, 'helpful' hints, new approaches' etc. long ago. They just keep a lot of people in jobs, 'researching', and feeling important, and allow suffering others to be led to believe that something is being done. It isn't.

The suffering, misconceptions and futility of treatments I see on this forum indicate clearly to me that nothing is being done. Sufferers go through successive processes with heightened hopes, waste more time and money, take more medication, endure unnecessary, dangerous and barbaric procedures - for what?

Out come more suggestions for different, more 'enlightened' approaches for so-called 'mental illness' and off everyone goes on yet another tangent.

Please excuse my cynicism, but they have no intention of helping us - just aggrandizing and enriching themselves.

We have endured immeasurable suffering and our personalities and perceptions have been damaged as a result. More than likely - so have our parents been, and theirs. We grow up into a mould created by our family's experiences, and our own accumulating life experiences just add to the injuries.

How do we recover? I can't find anyone to help me recover from my latest trauma. I'm talking about free 'services' which, it is said, abound. I won't give my money to those who just want to hear all about it but not be able - or not intend - to help in any way. So what do we do?

They just seem to want to hear all of the gory details until they show us that they are not helping us. Having another in a worse situation than they are just enables them to feel safe and superior in their own. The attitude of "I'm alright, Jack" abounds.

I'm trying to help myself. This forum has been the only place I have been able to find comfort, solace and support in my year or so of additional, overwhelming trauma. Because the people here actually CARE! And they do so without financial gain, with understanding and empathy.

P.S. Cynical as this has sounds, I'm doing alright. Life is alright. I hope yours is better than alright.

Best wishes and take care, @Appleblossom

Historylover

Thanks for your response @Historylover I genuinely wanted real answers. Glad you are doing alright.

I joined this forum a long time ago (mid 2015) and it has become both a supportive tribe and a way of life for me, which has reduced my isolation greatly. Kept me alive enough to get the NDIS, which has been a very mixed blessing.

Hearing you about loss of confidence in the services, but I dont see you as cynical as a person. Coming late to history myself I really appreciate its insights and can relate to your name.

As my experiences with MH services began in 1970 and had poor results for my family, I had my reservations, but also been told that a lot had changed and things were better etc etc etc. I also did my own legit study, although my paid work was to one side and not in the field. though using some similar skills.

However I found myself needing MORE support and became isolated cos of undigested trauma transmitted in the family and my son acting out. I no longer think of it as genetic, done a fair bit of looking at the gene thingumajig. Did Biol etc as a kid ... caught up on latest research as an ole laydee ...they dont really know ... just basic stats.... did enuff of those not to be impressed.

So my bottom line about assessing services became what is the value added? A bit Marxist mebe ... but I have also trodden the innovator small business own paths .... at least I gave people lots of data, physical and mental skills, music that will always be there even if it only grew a few extra neurones that aspiring parents wanted in their their kidillwinks brains.

What did the services actually give to me ... in last 5 years. Some examples of shifty dodgy practices .... re mind and parc ... SO much for improvements ... the only reason ... I am doing alright is that I have an African supt wkr who also knew what it was like to have an earth floor but a home which valued education.... ie significant levels of poverty and disadvantage, but also effort, good attitude and success in some systems. He was not written me off, or my son off as "nutter" as the previous spt wkr did. Sometimes we just shoot the breeze, but he actually has sensitivity and intelligence which the Aussie female before was totally lacking. He is a Muslim. yet we have good chats and he was impressed I had a koran amongst my books. More intelligent chats than so many who are supposedly raised in same faiths. I tried to help him get a higher rate of pay, cos he was over educated and has 4 little kids .. so I figure he deserves it.

Hearing you about self important workers ... and we are the one's accused of grandiosity ....or at least my father was, cos he talked too much and it was put on my file. Mostly he was a very quiet man, but they did not know that ... eye roll ... but he did not last long after my return from orphanages ... just 3 years... hmmm.

Take Care

Apple

Thanks for happy pup and serious discussion and links

@rivergal

Mixing up my sbs movies countries of origin

The Other Story

https://www.sbs.com.au/ondemand/watch/1820765251828

So sad about Gaza and Israel

and It must be Heaven

https://www.sbs.com.au/ondemand/watch/1888140355853

Thank you @Krishna and @Anastasia

Last night as I went to sleep I could console myself that I had 2 offers of support for difficult anniversaries today. I also thought there may be others on the forum who would chime in. I also have a psychology online appointment tmrw so will be able to speak out loud about it, not just type in silence. So feel more supported now then I used to be before I joined.

Grateful.

My sister who lived for only 21 years has her birthday today.

God Bless you Sis.

Coming to terms with her life and death has been huge. My relationship with her (she was 4 years my junior) and the very strained unusual circumstances of our childhoods has also taken a lot of research over time and growing understanding about things beyond my control. She was 2 when we were made state wards and about 9 when she returned. We shared a bed and a room for 4 years when I was a teen before I left home.

During her death anniversary in January, I hoped I had friend in real life, but was betrayed dreadfully, being told "something happened" in a way that made it my fault. So I have to acknowledge the many consequences of suicide in the community and its cost in my own life.

Awkwardness, not wanting to know, accumulated rejection by extended family, leading to extreme isolation, years of innurendo and vague blame of me as an older sibling, without anyone wanting to even listen or understand how many years we were apart and all the extra stressors. Then trying to reintegrate unsuccessfully as its too complicated to explain, and rare that even professionals have the patience or iinsight to listen or get the essentials, and so give off casual, inept, but still hurtful remarks and attitudes.

I do not believe she would have wanted to punish me in the way it has unfolded. One person who did know us both, said she was grateful as I had taken her on a few camping holidays.

It has been a long journey. Reading

https://pdfroom.com/books/healing-the-shame-that-binds-you/9ZdYJbEPgV4 is helping me at the moment. I cannot dwell on it more because there is also the other birthday.

My grandson is 2 today. Happy Birthday dear boy.

It is another awkward anniversary, as the other side are playing hard to get, and although I bought gifts a while back, we do not even have a zoom scheduled. Though he lives in a snobby suburb on 1/4 acre near a lovely beach. The mother living with her indulgent father is very xenophobic and not the best with impulse control herself. He has been a little robbed of his whole natural family I would have easily given him lots of lovely times, each month or each week or as needed to give rest and support, but "no" the madam says.

There is also the need to be careful with my own son's feelings today as a father, who is struggling with his self worth and place in life.

Generations: Son to Son

Reposting this painting from the beginning of the thread as symbolic. My little boy grew into manhood and now there is a new little boy.

I have to wait for the issues around intergenerational transmission of trauma to resolve, but I am probably a little too patient and as time passes we cannot get it back. Today my son gave me permission to teach and encourage him on a basic behaviour, and we could both laugh together rather than him being defensive. I hope to raise the significance of the day (re his son, only) with him later, but I need to tread carefully.

For me, I can get a little weird, if I go into the symbolisms and the whys of today being a double whammy of birthdays. There is a little more grief than there should be, but it is not the only one.as Christmas is also a double, the Holy Family, and my mother always being the only worthy mother in her mind, even if she was absent phsyically and emotionally and mentally.

@Zoe7

@

sending you lots and lots of tender hugs my @Appleblossom for today and always

Oh darling @Appleblossom such a big life you've been dealt. No wonder you are full of so much love and compassion for others, truly beautiful and rare human qualities that I feel are stronger in those who have suffered. And reading of your shared laughter with your son has made me smile and happy you had that experience. Good medicine is laughter. I wish for you an easygoing afternoon and rest filled evening.