Finding hope in the face of depression and loneliness

Hey everyone,

This is my first post here, but I was told maybe sharing my experiences in this forum might be helpful for me.

I'm currently really struggling to cope with my depression this year. I am 25, but have been having problems with depression on and off since I was 17. When I was younger I found it easier to have hope for the future, but recently I've found it a lot harder to see any sort of hope for the future.

I especially find it hard to cope at this point in my life because most of my friends are getting into long-term relationships, meanwhile I haven't even managed to have a relationship that has lasted for longer than 6 months! I have had a bit of a rocky start to relationships as my first time was not consensual, so I feel very hopeless when I think about whether I will be able to meet someone who will be happy to take things slowly with me, and who will be okay with me not having as much experience as most other 25 year olds. This makes me feel very lonely (as I have less opportunities to hang out with friends), and very sad as at the moment I can't see any future for myself, and I feel like I will be alone forever.

I can see I have some things going for me (I am quiet friendly, sociable, empathetic, *hopefully* somewhat funny, I'm doing a phd so am somewhat intelligent).. However, to me all these things seem to be outweighed by my lack of experience in relationships and the fact I feel that nobody has ever been able to love and accept me for who I am (including my family).

I would love to hear from people who might have some ideas on how to foster hope in regards to the recurrent depression and feelings of being alone forever.

Thanks so much,

Brooke