Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

47,612Members
1,358,869Posts
1,400,000Visitors

'strange' comments

jamesle2015Senior Contributor03 Apr 2018, 8:38 pm AEST

'strange' comments

I find that some customers make 'strange' comments...

I had one customer - pretty old lookign woman - she made some weird comment-

at the time we were 'busy' - we probably had more than 5 customers in the queue or something like that

-we are a small business-

she said that because she turned up she made us 'popular' - what does she mean????

Was she trying to say that she doesn't like to see other customers or too many people - that she

is so important in her own mind that she feels she doesn't need to wait for a few minutes in a queue

like a normal customer?

We cannot control whether we are 'quiet' or 'busy' or what 'strange' creatures appear in front of the counter....hopefully they are all human but sometimes I wonder I really do

I don't understand what goes through their mind- why do people waste time thinking of

weird things to say that don't help anyone and have no real meaning?

I reckon if I thought about it for a while I could recall more dodgy comments but I won't

do it now...if you are reading this I appreciate your endurance

5 replies

1 - 5 of 5

In response to: 'strange' comments

CheerBearSenior Contributor04 Apr 2018, 11:17 am AEST

Re: 'strange' comments

Hi @jamesle2015

Reading your post I was reminded of something @MDT posted last night, about how every single one of us is very very different. What someone perceives as 'weird' or 'strange' might be very normal to someone else. It's hard to know what anyone really means by something I think. We could ask, but even then the answer might not be provided or we may still not understand

I used to find myself often getting caught up in trying to work out what someone meant by something (I can still get caught up in it). I'd wonder whether something was meant to be nasty, nice, a joke, a passing comment, small talk, criticism, feedback, a compliment... Trying to work out what's going on can be fascinating, but also a huge rabbit hole of endless questions.

I think we're (humans) are so complicated on our own that when we interact there are so many opportunities for confusion or misunderstanding. We could spend forever trying to work out the meaning of things and maybe never understand what's truly going on.

I wonder sometimes whether it is more helpful or worth my time to focus less on trying to work out what someone means by something, and more on the impact it has had on me. I think I have a much better chance of understanding and working myself out (and therefore controlling or managing that), than I do of others.

Interesting post and questions to ponder.

In response to: Re: 'strange' comments

jamesle2015Senior Contributor05 Apr 2018, 8:58 pm AEST

Re: 'strange' comments

Definitely negative impact a lot of the time....

One thing that really annoys me is how customers use the word 'serve'...

they say things like 'you can serve someone else first'

Are we 'slaves' that are inferior to these people??

Why can't they say 'I'm still getting organised <this lets us know the person has some sincerity>..

'She or he can go before me' or 'let him or her go first' .....

Today I had one woman who walked to the counter and I asked her a question to find out what she wanted....

She told me to 'quickly serve someone else first so that we get this over and done with' or something similar ..and her tone of voice was not good.....

Her 2 adult 'kids' were with her - great example she's giving or it's probably too late at this stage

they have seen too much

There was only one other customer who had walked in a few seconds after I had asked her the question......

Then a few minutes later I found out she was disorganised and had to return later...

She made it sound as though she would try to be back later but she didn't turn up later...

Not that I care ...I'd rather not see her

Sometimes they need to think about how they communicate...they don't have any feeling for the person behind the counter.....

The problem is that they lack empathy as they do not need to spend hours and hours standing at the

counter day after day week after week and year after year ..yes year after year doing the same job

facing so many customers...

Anyone ins customer facing positions knows exactly what I am on about.....

In response to: Re: 'strange' comments

SaharaSenior Contributor06 Apr 2018, 7:16 am AEST

Re: 'strange' comments

Hi @jamesle2015,

I used to work in customer service and I didn't enjoy it much. I found that people were in a hurry, most of the time and they could be quite demanding and I found it stressful.

Although, my husband an I still occasionally run a little market stall- and I find it very different... people who attend the markets are usually in no hurry and they relax and are willing to wait for you. I found market-goers to be a friendly bunch... It is a different demographic.

Anyway, overall, I would say that I don't much care for working with people... I am more of a solitary type, these days. It's ironic that I even became a 'community guide' here on Sane, when I am saying that I don't much care for working with people! Go figure.

I agree with @CheerBear- I doubt you should spend too much time trying to work out what a person means when they make a certain comment. You could be trying to guess the meaning for the next 50 years and you still wouldn't know! If they are a friend of yours- then you could ask them to clarify what they mean. But if they are only a customer, then it doesn't matter too much. If they don't like the shop for any reason, then that just won't return.

People can be so weird, which makes them fascinating, if you are basically feeling happy and in a good mood. But their weirdness can seem very frustrating, too, depending on how stressed you are, in general. To be honest with you, I find most people a burden, but that it just a reflection of where I am at right now in my mood.

In response to: 'strange' comments

CheerBearSenior Contributor06 Apr 2018, 7:22 am AEST

Re: 'strange' comments

Hi @jamesle2015

I spent a little while working in a retail position (quite a while ago now). I still remember how rude and inconsiderate people could be sometimes and how it could bother me.

I'm not sure if it is different now, but I was trained with the line "the customer is always right" drummed into me. I remember how much that one irritated me as I didn't agree. Customers are people and people can't always be right!

I can see how the word 'serve', especially when it's said with tone and attitude, could bring up the idea of inferiority and being a slave. I can imagine, if you've been doing your job for a while and have had lots of experiences that have left you feeling inferior and maybe even bullied, that hearing the word 'serve' could be triggering.

When I read the impact the line "you can serve someone else" has had on you, I felt a little pang. I've said that one, or ones very similar, myself before. I'm sure I didn't mean anything other than "they can go before me". I think there have even been times when I've said it because the person behind the counter looked stressed or flustered trying to provide service to more than one person. I think you've given a great example of how intention and impact may be very different and how tricky communication can be. It's impossible to know what the person/people who have said that to you really meant, but it's clear and understandable that it impacts you.

I think you're right in that people can lack empathy sometimes, and I think that can happen often when we are in a kind of auto mode as we go about our day-to-day business. I know for me I am often so focused on the task at hand that I can forget to consider the people I am interacting with. I'm not sure what type of work you do, but I imagine that retail has huge potential for a lack of empathy and consideration from customers.

I often wonder how much better the world would work if we could walk in each other's shoes, even for just a moment. Hearing you.

In response to: 'strange' comments

CheerBearSenior Contributor06 Apr 2018, 7:42 am AEST

Re: 'strange' comments

Hi @Sahara. I think that's another really interesting point there, about the way we interact with people being influenced by our mood. What is 'interesting' one day/hoir/moment can be frustrating or irritating or hurtful for me the next.

I can see how working in a market stall might be a different experience than working in a store and how a lot of that could be because of the customers/people there. I'm probably a different kind of customer when I'm wandering around a market enjoying the fresh air (which I haven't done for ages but should add that to a list of to-do's again soon) than when I am at a busy supermarket with my kids and a long shopping list (which I do too often and really don't enjoy).

1 - 5 of 5