Angry!

@Former-Member

Anger is a difficult emotion.

I needed to read about it to understand the anger of others and then the anger in myself.

It does give energy and so I try and channel it productively.

Take care.

Apple

Hi @Former-Member .....

I am hearing you ....

I am glad you raised this topic. I struggled with anger for a while in circumstances where I was feeling powerless and over-run by others, and I think identifying that we are angry, and why, and what we can do about it to lessen that sense of hostility is very important to our well-being.

My approach to things generally is to try to find out more about how they function if I want to try to change them. I found this article helpful to my understanding (not back then ,... now, when I went looking), perhaps for the fact that it is breaking anger down into different causes and types of response.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/happiness-in-world/201311/dealing-anger

Its just a starting point, a way of trying to take the anger out of the driver’s seat and wrestle with it a bit .... see if you can change it’s shape and affect on you.

Please just ignore this if you think it is not helpful to the way you try to work things out. We are all different.

Good morning @Appleblossom @Eden1919 @Faith-and-Hope

thank you for your messages and for the article @Faith-and-Hope I am struggling with anger against myself, sometimes projected at other people. I do work on it in therapy, but I regularily have rage or intense anger fits that I just cannot channel. I do have better control on SH but not on any other impulsive behaviours, but I think that is because I'm scared to be admitted if I SH.

I've had rage and intense anger since early childhood and I feel absolutely powerless. I have gone through different phases of expressing anger, including turning anger against others and especially then, I basically felt like I was watching myself, I could not identify with the person who was being angry.

I just feel helpless when anger hits.

Hi @Former-Member .....

There is some classic general advice for delaying angry responses .... like counting to 10 silently before speaking, to try to get a handle on it before spouting off, or punching a pillow, or going and pulling 100 weeds out of the garden ..... that sort of thing.

I suppose these activities have been put forward to you already ?

My hubby has anger / rage / control issues tied in with his eating disordered behaviour. While it is all undiagnosed as yet, I don’t have any insight for you through our circumstances, other than that might be one reason why we have the 7/7 exercise, and restricted menu, and chew/spit happening. Redirecting behaviour, as opposed to misdirecting it, may help to control it, and I think my mr. is doing that ..... especially since being told by a mental health team that he can’t yell at and micromanage our young adult kids. It’s like it has to channel somewhere.

Do you go walking ? That is one of my strategies for managing distress, and I think I have trained myself to calm down by listening to popular piano music ..... it seems to be a trigger for calming me now, after turning to it to block out distress across a few years.

Thanks @Faith-and-Hope

I do have general coping strategies for a variety of issues. They can help when I catch my anger and any emotion early enough. Once the emotion takes over, I can lose complete control of myself and I get extremly confused.

I want to start walking again. It does help and I want to acknowledge that I've had a set-back. It just makes me sad and tired, very tired.

Hearing you @Former-Member ..... wishing you the courage and strength to step out again .....

💐💕

@Former-Member Glad you are getting support by your mental health team, but it is also good to talk thorugh these things with a range of people.

Walking is a great way to defuse anger. One idea that has helped me deal with anger is that Emotion is "Energy in motion". So I also do housework and gardening when I am angry. Now it becomes more a situation of having spare energy to get things done and is a good thing, rather than feeling all the moral confusions when we are in the midst of angry thoughts and feelings.

The actual interpersonal stuff needs addressing, but give yourself time.

Look after yourself.

@Former-Member walking is good. i also find swimming very calming if you can access it. sometimes it is just trying things till one thing clicks. and of course trying to catch the anger early. easier said than done though.