HopefulturtleContributor
Therapist Relationship
Am I the only one who gets obsessed with their therapist? I know it’s part of the BPD but it’s driving me crazy!
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Therapist Relationship
11 replies
In response to: Therapist Relationship
BunniekinsSenior Contributor
Re: Therapist Relationship
@Hopefulturtle No you are not Hopefulturtle ... I had a huge crush on my pdoc (he was gorgeous in any case) But I also got a crush on an elderly pdoc of mine so there you go you are not alone 🙂
In response to: Therapist Relationship
HopefulturtleContributor
Re: Therapist Relationship
Thanks @Bunniekins
I don’t know if it’s a crush as such - more intense curiousity. Like, where does she live, what does she do on weekends, what’s her husband like, does she have brothers and sisters, how old are her children etc etc. I think it frustrates me somewhat that I don’t know her details yet she knows all mine? It occupies far too much of my mind!
I don’t know if it’s a crush as such - more intense curiousity. Like, where does she live, what does she do on weekends, what’s her husband like, does she have brothers and sisters, how old are her children etc etc. I think it frustrates me somewhat that I don’t know her details yet she knows all mine? It occupies far too much of my mind!
In response to: Re: Therapist Relationship
BunniekinsSenior Contributor
Re: Therapist Relationship
@Hopefulturtle Lol sorry I got that wrong 😄 You say that is common with BPD I didnt know that. I have bp and schizoaffective disorder so bpd is unknown to me. Interesting I wonder what she would say if you asked her ....
In response to: Therapist Relationship
HopefulturtleContributor
Re: Therapist Relationship
Maybe I should mention it next session. If I’m brave enough lol
In response to: Re: Therapist Relationship
BunniekinsSenior Contributor
Re: Therapist Relationship
@Hopefulturtle I would.
In response to: Therapist Relationship
CatcakesSenior Contributor
Re: Therapist Relationship
Hi @Hopefulturtle,
I would say your feelings for and curiosity about your therapist is common.
Not just for BPD people but lots of others too.
You may be interested to read about transference and countertransference.
For your sake, I hope your therapist maintains strict boundaries, if not, discuss them with your therapist. A psychologist who doesn’t maintain tight boundaries is not doing herself/himself or you any favours,
Good topic I reckon @moderators
I would say your feelings for and curiosity about your therapist is common.
Not just for BPD people but lots of others too.
You may be interested to read about transference and countertransference.
For your sake, I hope your therapist maintains strict boundaries, if not, discuss them with your therapist. A psychologist who doesn’t maintain tight boundaries is not doing herself/himself or you any favours,
Good topic I reckon @moderators
In response to: Therapist Relationship
OwlunarSenior Contributor
Re: Therapist Relationship
Hi @Hopefulturtle
I might be wrong but I think what is happening is called transference and it is common for people in therapy -
And therapists know about it - but I can't tell if it would be helpful for you to tell your therapist or not - I can't really tell how intense it is or if it will impede the process of your therapy
But it's normal and happens to people who are not being treated by a therapist or have an MI
I had a wonderful surgeon when I had a major operation many years ago and I really enjoyed his visits each day and looked forward to it and thought about him a lot. I had a sort of crush on him.
Of course it wore off when I went home -
Maybe you should talk it over with your therapist - it might get in the way - who knows?
All the best though - Dec
In response to: Therapist Relationship
HopefulturtleContributor
Re: Therapist Relationship
Thanks all!
There is something blocking me from completely being open with this therapist - it’s a lot different then my previous therapeutic relationship with my previous psych. Maybe it would help to be honest about this with her?
I don’t know. My last therapist allowed me to text and call her whenever I needed. This therapist prefers to only communicate in session - which is totally fair enough. Maybe I’m just still getting used to the different therapy approaches? It is a reasonably new bout of therapy.
Blah.
I hate this stuff.
There is something blocking me from completely being open with this therapist - it’s a lot different then my previous therapeutic relationship with my previous psych. Maybe it would help to be honest about this with her?
I don’t know. My last therapist allowed me to text and call her whenever I needed. This therapist prefers to only communicate in session - which is totally fair enough. Maybe I’m just still getting used to the different therapy approaches? It is a reasonably new bout of therapy.
Blah.
I hate this stuff.
In response to: Re: Therapist Relationship
frogSenior Contributor
Re: Therapist Relationship
@Hopefulturtle @Bunniekins yes indeed. It's only happened once and I had to break up with him (i.e get a new pdoc). I didn't like him as a psychiatrist and when I saw him I felt irritated because he knew me so well, and not vice versa. But I did like him as a person and when I was not there, i.e most of the time, I couldn't get him out of my head, which is kind of ironic! I did tell him in the end, as well as thanking him because he was the one who finally got the diagnosis right and I respect him. It works much better the other way round - like as pdoc/tdoc but no feelings for them personally.
In response to: Re: Therapist Relationship
BunniekinsSenior Contributor
Re: Therapist Relationship
@frog Hi frog did you have a crush on him or was it an obsession of sorts? My new pdoc is a female (my first ever female) so it will be interesting to see if I develop the same feelings on her as I did with my other two pdocs ... (I am totally straight btw).
