BabyDragon's Den

Hey @Former-Member

I hear you - I read back through a few pages of your thread and yep - you do have a hell of a lot of stuff on your plate.

And normally I would suggest that people can go on - maybe need to step out of it for a while - whatever it is - but as I recall you have a lot of people needing help relying on you and I saw some of this as I read back

And I agree - with all of that you can't go on - you have enough of your own issues - and I don't really know what they are right now - without all the issues of your family on top of that and I only read a bit

So what do you do? That is really hard to answer. It's easy to say that you need to deal with your own stuff first but part of that is what to do about all these dependent people dragging your emotions this way or that or both at the same time and I forget how many sisters/siblings you have - and your mother too

You know - one thing I can say is that it is not at all selfish to put yourself first. In fact - it's necessary to get some healing for yourself because you - no one - can really function well until they can have both feet on the ground

I am an expert at this - somewhere through time I have managed to lose contact with my own siblings - no great loss btw - and my parents have passed - everyone - even my ex-h couldn't stand the drama of life at the darkest time so yep - I looked after myself and my daughter - she and I are good friends - I won that battle

So - hun - look after yourself first and your son - and I know you feel feel really bad about letting these other "adults" find their feet - but we do - regardless of what we are carrying - I have - it can be done

But it's hard - this I know - and feelings can be downright rough to get along with at times

So - please share with us - and try and let your family find their way - they are too used to you helping out and you need to do that for you - it is time for you

Sending hugs

Dec

Thanks @Owlunar, i been struggling quite a bit but for me my son is the light his smiles his hugs and his love they keep me going.

@Former-Member, thanks i found it hopefully it is all ok now I forget about the guidelines when I'm writing like that

Goodafternoon @Former-Member

That makes total sense @Former-Member. Thanks for making those changes. Look forward to reading more of your writing on the forums 🐼

Evening @Zoe7,

How are you going

Hi @Former-Member I am doing okay tonight. I had a very long and draining day and felt very lost earlier this afternoon but I chatted to someone and that helped. I am thinking I might be able to have an early night tonight because of how tired today has made me but we will see how I go.

How are you doing?

@Zoe7,

I hope you aren't lost anymore,

I am okay been working through emotions and stuff trying to get a handle on recent events.

Working with psych on childhood trauma is becoming difficult but I have support.

Other than that I have been trying to keep my thoughts out of the dark place they have been the last few weeks.

I know that dark place well @Former-Member

Glad you have suppport to work through your childhood trauma - it is essential that when doing that you are not then simply left alone - that is pretty much what happened to me - it was no-one's fault - it was just how it was -so I needed to stop that until I can one day tackle it again with the right supports in place - that seems a long way off for me though!

I still feel a bit lost but I am dealing with it by staying connected on here - this is one of those self-care things that can often get me out of my own head and thus stop feeling for a time.

How have you coped over the last few weeks - have you had support all that time?

@Zoe7, I haven't had support the whole time as at first I did not tell anyone that I was feeling so low. I have mostly been coping by writing and colouring.

I recently put up a couple of pieces of writing that I have done on the writing as a form of therapy thread

But you have support now @Former-Member and that is great.

I will have a look at your writing on the other thread - would be really interesting to see what you have put down in words...be back soon...