Connect with people who understand what you are going through,
seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're
free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.
I'm self-destructing again. I'm functioning ok but I am increasingly thinking self-harm and suicide as only options. I'm furious with myself. I'm not studying, not losing weight, not going to the gym, don't have money to fix the car before pink slip runs out and a damn week more before I get to see my counsellor.
This is ridiculous. I don't even have the right to end things. I'm exhausted, everyone is making demands and have expectations and I can't even fulfill my own needs let alone other people's. And on top, I have alters nagging me constantly. One wants to go fishing, smoke, but I have things to do and don't smoke. I'm fighting everyone and everything. Just die already!
@Lemonjuice Hi Lemonjuice sorry you feel so bad atm. I know what you mean about wanting to smoke and go fishing .... I dont smoke and am a vegan but both sound perfect to me atm.... I am not studying, not losing weight, not exercising,car going in for big repairs in June (I hate to think what that will be costing me ....) as for a counsellor I am waiting on a referral from my old pdoc and am so depressed cannot be bothered to chase it up. Just feel like curling up in a ball under my doona ,.... I cant though because i have a home delivery coming at some stage today so I have to be awake to let them in .... all I want to do is sleep.
In response to: Re: Going under again.
AppleblossomSenior Contributor
Re: Going under again.
@Lemonjuice
In response to: Going under again.
LemonjuiceSenior Contributor
Re: Going under again.
@Appleblossom OMG! That is exactly what it feels like!...almost what it looks like too! It's beautiful too. Who's the artist? Brilliant.
In response to: Going under again.
LemonjuiceSenior Contributor
Re: Going under again.
@Bunniekins Sorry that you are also going through a hard time...lol...two peas in a pod.
In response to: Re: Going under again.
AppleblossomSenior Contributor
Re: Going under again.
Darn I am looking for it. Will let you know when I find it. I prob should post artist's name all the time I post their pics.
I have a few on the same theme. That one is called LUNARIS_29 and is more beautiful and dreamy, the alters... in harmony ??
In response to: Going under again.
LemonjuiceSenior Contributor
Re: Going under again.
@Appleblossom I know what I love about it...why I relate to it. If you look at it, one face stands out while the others fade in the background and the faces keep moving back and forward. It's like one of those optical illusions. That feeling when your mind is shifting between the two, that is what I experience, how it feels.
In response to: Re: Going under again.
AppleblossomSenior Contributor
Re: Going under again.
I had meant to go to the art gallery more often @Lemonjuice but have settled for regularly looking at art online...
Still cant find artist in seach box so will let it go .. need to make dinner.
Hope you find a way to live with ALL your different parts.
I edited post. I did not mean to upset you.
In response to: Going under again.
LemonjuiceSenior Contributor
Re: Going under again.
@Appleblossom not sure what you mean about upsetting me...I wasn't upset about anything at all. Infact, I really appreciated this by you. When I go back to see my therapist, I will have something to show him. It's like you helped me put a name to the feeling of what its like.
In response to: Going under again.
PepsimaxSenior Contributor
Re: Going under again.
Hi @Lemonjuice you still around
In response to: Going under again.
LemonjuiceSenior Contributor
Re: Going under again.
@Pepsimax Yeah. About to try again to get some sleep. What's up?
We're improving how you access SANE services, starting with Forums
You’ll soon be able to use one secure login to access all SANE services.
For added security, members are now required to log in with their email address and password - member names are no longer supported for logging in.
If you had a Forums account before 19 May 2026 and haven’t set up your new login yet, you'll be prompted to set up your new secure login when you sign-in.
