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all too much

NameUnknownSenior Contributor26 Mar 2018, 8:49 pm AEDT

all too much

hello to... well anyone who sees it i suppose

feeling like a failiure. sick, again. missed my preventer puffer and nearly ended up in hospital, probably still will wich will stress out my son.

how can i be a good mother if im always sick or feeling down. its like a cycle i cant break my mother's mother wasnt there, my mother wasnt there and now im not there. i want to be different to my mum and i know that i care more then she did but i feel like my health will make me fail.

first i stopped being able to help my younger brothers and sisters then i had to ask them to help me out and now im struggling to keep out of bed.....

WHEN WILL IT STOP,

i feel like i should just give in and stop fighting the switches and let my alters take over

4 replies

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In response to: all too much

outlanderSenior Contributor26 Mar 2018, 10:56 pm AEDT

Re: all too much

@NameUnknown ❤

In response to: Re: all too much

AppleblossomSenior Contributor26 Mar 2018, 11:51 pm AEDT

Re: all too much

Sorry to hear about your asthma.

It is so hard to shift family patterns. @NameUnknown Nothing is cast in stone, Tthey usually do change of their own accord. Each generation is a little different.

A step and day at a time. Thinking of you and you bub.

In response to: Re: all too much

NameUnknownSenior Contributor27 Mar 2018, 9:29 am AEDT

Re: all too much

@Appleblossom, asthma is one of the many inherited things i have that i hate .

and i want to break my families patteren i did i with school twice. first female to make grade 10 and first female to graduate highschool in 7 generations.

but i dont want my kid to grow up having to deal with adult situations before he has the chance to be a kid. but everytime i get sick with my asthma or mh he gets thrown into a grown up world. i nearly died last time i had an asthma attack. he would have had to learn to cope i cant bare the thought.

i want him to enjoy this time of his life and not look back at it when he is older and resent it like i do mine. i feel like im failing in so many ways.

In response to: Re: all too much

AppleblossomSenior Contributor27 Mar 2018, 11:05 am AEDT

Re: all too much

Good on YOU. That is amazing that you broke a few records with schooling. @NameUnknown Shows determination and persistence. There are studies that show children of educated women do better.

We all want the best for our children, but keeping them in bubbles does not really work. If the idea of their possible stress adds to your stress ...then it becomes a vicious cycle. Dont invest too much hate into things you cannot change. Thinking the thought gives power to the ideas.

That said. It is horrible and I am really sorry that you both have to go through all that.

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