Seeking mutual support from carers

@Susana

i agree, it is definitely a role reversal from being the child to be being the parent. also, with mental illness it is so erratic so there are days where yep, she is the boss! but other days, when she is not so good, the roles are definitely reversed. it's a hard adjustment but just need to roll with it. no 2 days are ever the same! at the moment though i feel i am reverting to my childhood lol ... she is being feisty and not timid to order me around haha ... i just behave and do as im told 🙂

wow, that sounds so full on what you went through with you mum re: the mental health act. i'm glad you didn't have to go through the whole tribunal process but sad to hear the reason was that your mum wasn't being looked after properly. it would have been hard for you though as you were trying to help your mother, going through so many emotions and trying to understand the system at the same time. that would have definitely taken a toll on you, plus looking after your son.

my mum was in public hospital due to her non responsive state but then while she was there they had to get her blood pressure under control and they wanted to do an mri on her brain to make sure nothing had happenned - once she was medically cleared she could be transferred to a private hospital. which i am very happy she is there now as she can actually get some quiet time, and she is under the care of her psychiatrist.

that would have been so hard for you mum - especially with the language barrier. change in their environment is very unsettling. i recall one time mum was in public hospital awaiting transfer to private hospital and they woke her up in the middle of the night and transferred her to another ward. she was so out of sorts when i went to see her in the morning, poor luv.

i can understand that you would be fatigued at the moment with caring for two people. and yes, learning to say no can be hard but definitely needed to set boundaries with some people. unfortunately when we are the kind of person who is there for others, some people will take advantage of that. i do think it will be a good idea for your mum to stay in residential respite for a while, will give you a bit of a breather and hopefully can think a bit clearer about what the next step to take is regarding your mum.

life's not easy, hey? but, like i keep telling myself, i'm doing the best i can and that's all any of us can do.

i hope to hear from you soon

xxx

PS @Susana - sorry for the novel!

thanks @Susana

i just rang and spoke to mum's nurse at the clinic. she had a shower and changed which is good, they are trying to get her out of her room and hopefully have lunch in the dining room with the others ... smalls steps hey? I will see her this afternoon and bring her a big bunch of flowers - hopefully that will get me in her good books hehe

i also struggle with boundaries with my sister - i love her but she can drain me considerably. and yes, for your own sanity you need to put boundaries in place otherwise you will burn out luv 😞

good on you for talking to your mum and letting her know that you can burden all the responsibility - there is only so much each of us can take before we reach breaking point, and im sure many of us in these forums have hit that point many times!

yes, i am taking time out for myself. i leave my mornings for me and visit mama in the afternoon, and try get my walks in, but one of my coping strategies is to comfort eat - not good!

i hope you are looking after yourself too

xxx

Thank you @Former-Member

I hope you have been keeping well and looking after yourself

x

good evening @Bella1978 xoxo

I am okish at the moment , thank you , my mr shaz has taken his nighttime meds after 5 nights of not taking them

awesome @Bella1978

howd your day go with your mum?