Panic

@melbournegirlIt is good you took the step to share more. It helps getting things out of our heads. Then we can get a better perspective. It could be a sign of how much you love them. There is also the fact car accidents occur everyday, so it can appear reasonable, but not that it has such a big effect upsetting you.

Hope your psychologist works with you on this particular issue.

I wonder what others on the forum think.

@Former-Member@outlander@Bunniekins@Former-Member@Faith-and-Hope@Shaz51@Zoe7

Hello @melbournegirl and thanks for directing me here @Appleblossom, I'll try to add my perspective.

I'll add a link to a thread that might be of use for you melbournegirl here while I remember it Topic-Tuesday-How-can-I-be-mindful-when-I-have-a-mindFULL . There are lots of helpful ideas that can assist with learning coping mechanisms for anxiety and shifting those troubling thoughts by shifting our focus of attention.

I experience sometimes debilitating anxiety from layered trauma across various stages of my life, so it takes a mixed bag of tools and mechanisms to deal with the different triggers and reactions/ responses.

What @Appleblossom has said about it being fairly reasonable to worry about vehicle incidents is quite true, we hear every day of serious traffic incidents and it seeps into our own situations where we can build up a case for another worry for ourselves. I do not mean to minimise your concerns in any way.

With the vehicle incident thing and your parents, it may have more of a metaphorical reasoning for you, a fear of the support your parents provide for you moving away (them driving) or public or other transport (being driven away) from you. (I've read some, okay, a lot, of Jung)

I've learned that this archtypal type of response is quite accurate for many of my reactions, so thought it worth offering up as a potential helping point.

If you are quite youthful, the reasons could be different from someone of mature age too. Perhaps there is something about the driving habits of your parents that is worrisome and might need some attending to. Sometimes our worries are things that can be addressed with the person/ people we are worrying about.

Is it possible for you to think about what the underlying concern is behind those thoughts? I'd understand if you can't even go there, but maybe sort of coming at it sideways, you might be able to get a bit of a handle on it.

For me, with specific issues that I can really identify, like that one of yours that you have so bravely opened up about, if I can look at it as if I was looking at it for someone else I can usually find a crack in its armour and break it down to meaningful, and therefore sort-out-able parts.

I do hope my input has been helpful rather than more worrying for you. And as Appleblossom has said too, it's important to talk with your psychologist about this as it's so worrying for you.

If you can't speak about it, simply make a note, point form if that is all you can do, to hand to your psych. I'm big on writing notes for those itmes when you're pretty sure talking is going to hard.

Keep talking here too. lots of us to help here.

Hi @melbournegirl. @Former-Member @Appleblossom ...... 👋

I am glad to see you opening up about this too @melbournegirl. Sometimes just getting things out of our heads can help reduce the power of the thoughts to impact on our day as much, as though they are spinning around and around in there, trying to find somewhere to go .... so we can “leak”them out in conversation, therapy, forum writing, diary writing, etc ..... and the sense of worry and anxiety can reduce a bit that way.

Perhaps not at first. When I first started writing on the forums, I was very nervous about the information I was putting out here, but I can see by what others have written, they have felt the same way. It takes a while to relax a bit more about it.

I had a wonderful Mum when I was growing up, one who was raised by a mother with an undiagnosed mi, so she was right in the heart of a home ruled by anxiety and fears, and unstable emotional reactions. Her response to that was to become very thoughtful and discerning. When I expressed fears to her (I won’t name any here so I don’t trigger anyone) this was what she used to tell me .....

Fears can loom large in our minds, like the way an ant views an apple ..... but when we stand back a little and gain some perspective, we can change our self-talk, and that self-talk is really important.

Yes, a lot of people do experience car accidents, but when you hold that up against the general population, it’s actually a tiny number in comparison, so while some people will be affected, the chances of that being you and yours is very, very remote ..... which means that you are spending an awful lot of time and energy preparing for the worst, when the worst rarely ever happens.

To say that it never happens is not realistic either, but you can replace it with many other fears that are just as remote, and paint yourself into a very tiny corner of existence, bound by fears, and that is not healthy ..... so imagine for a moment that you are holding a giant magnifying glass up to a potential problem ..... and in your mind’s eye, slowly, carefully, put the magnifying glass down, and step away from it .... and tell yourself you don’t need to do that any more.

Whenever you find these fear encroaching on your mind, picture the magnifying glass, and tell yourself it’s okay to put it down and step away from it ......

Then take a deep breath, because shallow breathing and holding our breath helps to engage our fight-or-flight response and that builds physical symptoms of anxiety ......

Breathe .... slow and deep .... gently hold, and then release the breath slowly too ..... several times .....

I hope this helps 💕

Hi @melbournegirl

Mental anguish & anxiety can be so exhausting & distracting & steal our joy. I have had similar intrusive thoughts with my children and my brothers riding motorbikes when we were young.

I get anxiety, it has helped me to use my faith & pray (believing) Gods protection, even pixture angels around them but also leaving it in Gods hands.

If you don't have faith you have to find another way to let it go. Can you picture their safe arrival & focus on that? Maube light a candle for them, if it helps. Thoughts have power so picturi g good is impoetant. You can't control everything sohave a talk withtyourself & whenryou've doneuall youscan, trust yourself that you will handle whatever life throws @ you.

Some spiritual ppl might see your concerns as a warning, and to ask your higher self or God why? Maybe tell your parents to have a safety check on their car or a service, & to take care on the roads... Maybe there's maintenance or a service they haven't followed up...

I used to have a repeating dream my dad was accidentally pushed under an oncoming train 😞 Someone suggested this meant i was really angry with him & wanted him gone, or me gone from him. I was very young. Could you have pent up aggression / resentment / unforgiveness that needs to be resolved? Dealt with or let go if?