My journey

I don’t care if they don’t all I know is how much I AM! @Zoe7 by what others did, the reality is anyway that they didn’t see my pain my hurt because most of the time I tried not to show it by acting OK

That makes it extra tough @Former-Member - I think a lot of us here that have been hurt so badly didn't show how much pain we were in - I myself shut down so as not to show any emotions or feelings whatsoever - it is how we have survived but the consequence now is that all those bottled up emotions need to come out and we need to find ways to deal with them.

I get that every time I was there for someone though they hurt me so I don’t know whether that’s part of the reason why I am the way I am now @Zoe7 I know everyone here is struggling I am just finding it really hard and keep getting defensive because i feel alone in what is happening to me. I am not good at finding healthy ways to cope if it was just me I don’t know what I’d do either but some times I do think I’d handle myself better because I don’t have the extra loads of everything

yeah I get that @Former-Member - it isn't just you being able to deal with all this on your own - you have your daughter there who you need to be 'okay' for because she needs you but that doesn't leave time just for you to be not ok - you can't spend days in bed getting over it, you can't run around the house screaming because that will scare her, there is so much you can't so but there is one thing you have to do and that is be a mum 24/7 and that never changes - I hear you Hon ...that is soooo hard

Hi @Former-Member,

It sounds like a very difficult time right now. Im glad to see that you feel safe to reach out here on the forums, even if seeing your friend might not feel possible right now. Agree with @Zoe7 that its important not to bottle things up. I'm sending you a check in email now.

Hugs @Former-Member and sitting with you xx

There isn’t any good way to get it out @Zoe7

i don’t know what to do

Just keep talking to me here Hon - I got you tonight and I can stay as long as you need @Former-Member

My daughter is right here I am getting anxious and she needs to go to bed I am not coping @Zoe7 I hope she goes to bed

Can you read her a story @Former-Member might help her to settle and you a little as well - then I will be here afterwards.