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@Former-Member It's pretty hard when I do eventually open up I remember what happened when I did prior then too a longgggg time ago. I was attacked!!! I am attacking everyone Hence my song the other day on a music thread.
I don't expect responses and I don't feel left left out I have made it this far on my own and hid what i have been through repetively at times. It does not matter what I do when I don't talk about it I am doing something wrong when I do talk about it I am doing something wrong again
I do know what you mean @Former-Member - you wonder what parts of the person you knew before are left and what effect it has on who you are now - all I see from this side of the screen (and from our chats) is a strong person who loves her little girl and wants to do everything possible to give her a good life - and that is something to be very proud of Hon
In response to: My journey
Unknown userMember
Re: My journey
Now I am just losing myself trying to parent deal with trauma, bills, judgements, remarks other people's s**t and I am just tired of it tired of others saying I have no idea how you have done it on you're own I am a mum I understand now though they have a partner No one understands I am a SOLO PARENT not a single parent And lately I have just been hating the fact that a guy can intentionally want to knock a woman up so she is tired down but play no part in it at all and just blame the ex for everything
I am just incredibly FED UP
In response to: Re: My journey
Zoe7Senior Contributor
Re: My journey
You sound really tired Hon so it is no wonder your emotions are all over the place right now. The one thing I do know is that you love your little girl and want to protect her - and you are teaching her how to protect herself @Former-Member - YOU are doing that, no-one else and that is something you can be very, very proud of. You can have all the hate and animosity you like towrds others but the only person you have to really like is the one you want to be - and I know you want to be a wonderful mum to that little girl - and that is admirable Hon
In response to: My journey
Unknown userMember
Re: My journey
I hate most people now -see everything completely differently. I am my trauma now ha go figure
In response to: Re: My journey
Zoe7Senior Contributor
Re: My journey
We internalise so much from trauma @Former-Member. I like to think that the trauma has made me who I am but it does not define me. It does make it so hard to 'move forward' with any kind of meaningful existence - but again - that is us internalising the trauma and not living as our true selves. I know who the true me is but it is hidden so deeply that I find it hard to find it when I am tired, lonely, depressed etc. I believe your true self is still inside you - it just takes a little time to find when you are feeling emotional Hon
In response to: My journey
Unknown userMember
Re: My journey
My daughter tells me my heart is broken Even hate myself for that too for being & feeling broken
In response to: Re: My journey
Zoe7Senior Contributor
Re: My journey
Your daughter may be the wisest one of all of us @Former-Member
I think feeling 'broken' goes with the territory when dealing with trauma Hon - it is something that is hard to acknowledge let alone confront and work through - try not to beat yourself up so much for that - I get it - it is hard but it is also amazing at the wonderful people we can/have met because of what we have been through. I am grateful every day for this forum and for the amazing people I have met that not only understand but are supportive - and you @Former-Member are one of those amazing people
In response to: Re: My journey
Zoe7Senior Contributor
Re: My journey
@Former-Member I am going to have to log off soon - starting to get very tired here ...I will check in with you tomorrow though Hon
In response to: My journey
Unknown userMember
Re: My journey
If I don't make it through this my daughter WILL
In response to: Re: My journey
Zoe7Senior Contributor
Re: My journey
You can make it through this Hon but it is not easy... and your daughter needs you so find the strength through her if need be... @Former-Member
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