My journey

I am going to have an early night @Former-Member - I have done a lot today and it is starting have an effect on me. Will catch up with you tomorrow Hon - hope you sleep well

@Former-Member Checking in to see how you are going. It has been a while since we chatted. I have seen you around at Friday Feast a ciuple of times and it is great to see you interacting with other members. It is a beautiful day here and I have been out in the garden. Now resting up whilst baby sitting my sister's dog. He is happily spread out on the couch and Toby is curled up on the cushion behind me - that will be where they pretty stay this afternoon unless they need to head outside. Hope your little girl is ok Hon.

Last night was really bad @Zoe7

I lashed out at a family member cried & slept. I got triggered over something.

I also saw something about domestic violence which made me remember a lot.

I’m struggling to get myself out of bed lately I am just tired @Zoe7

I understand those triggers @Former-Member they can be debilitating. Sometimes I wish we could just forget it all - then maybe we could have some sort of life. But we know it doesn't work like that hey.

No. Lately I feel like everyone is sick of hearing how depressed I am @Zoe7

I am getting so defensive at almost everyone

I feel burnt out

Literally withdrawing more & more @Zoe7

That is not good @Former-Member Have you found somewhere to move to yet?

Late reply have been trying to collect myself @Zoe7 no not moving very yo-yo. How many times is this now. I don’t like it here whatsoever but have to grin and bear what gets thrown our way for a while and stay strong. I don’t own it. So least I know we won’t be here forever just have to ride through the dislikes and annoyances with the surroundings & building. I’d be making a mistake financially and it would cost me hugely at the moment. I have had expenses everywhere within the last couple of months.

I would also be somewhere probably more run down then this lack of love within the unit. Just the landlord everyone that does not like me etc etc makes me feel crap about our current situation I have to disregard and remember how far I’ve come even if they don’t understand what the hell has been going on with me or what happened to us