persevererSenior Contributor
If I don't get help, a tragedy is going to happen
I haven't posted in a while because I have had so little free time between dealing with the family's mental health problems and working full time. Things are not going well and continue to deteriorate. We are at a greater crisis point than we have ever been before and I fear that unless something dramatic changes to help us then a tragedy is going to happen.
Basically, my husband has bipolar disorder with psychotic symtoms. I am not sure why his psychiatrist does not call it schizoaffective disorder. He is on an anti-psychotic and an anti-depressant and hasn't worked in over three years. Our eldest son has schizophrenia which he battles with constantly. He has spent a good part of his life in psychiatric wards and hospitals and has a large network of support. But he is fragile. Our next son is in denial. He has been diagnosed with OCD, ADHD and GAD and depression, but he does not accept the diagnosis nor the treatment. He is also an autistic savant. And our youngest son is still at school. He suffers a lot in silence and was once on medicatication for Tourette's but is no longer needing it. However, he still suffers a great deal from all the tension going on around him.
At the centre of the trouble is actually our middle son who has bad OCD, untreated. As far as he is concerned, he is only trying to put things right. The problem is not him, it is everyone else. Iin particular, the problem is my husband. When my husband retired he withdrew his super and went on a big spending spree, spending the whole lot in just a couple of months. The despair and desperation this action caused the whole family is completely beyond his grasp. The house is full of the uneeded and unsolicited bling he bought and imposed on us and it traumatised our middle son who likes things simple and uncomplicated. So every night when the rest of us are sleeping (and believe me, even getting that far was a major achievement for us), our middle son gets up and rearranges everything, and I mean everything. Nothing is too sacred to violate. My work things, the kitchen, the linen, even private things we have in our bedroom drawers. My husband feels completely undermined and disrespected and he is angry. His moods trigger his psychosis as they do our eldest son's psychosis. They are now at the point where they do not want the other to be involved at all in their lives. Our poor eldest son needs a calm and peaceful environment and is trying to cope with the war ragin between his brother and his father by going out for long walks. But this is not really helping.
When I get home from work each day I am still grateful to find everyone still alive. But I am walking into a battle zone with huge degrees of hurt, anger and upset and the emotional inability to deal with it on the part of my mentally ill husband and three mentally ill sons.
We need a bigger house with separate living areas. We need to have it decorated by an interior designer and to make an agreement that we will all abide by what the external person thinks needs to be in the house. And I really need another sane adult in the house. It would help my family beyond description if I could leave work and just be here to smooth over the storms, to listen and understand, to mediate and work things out.
My husband is on the brink of a violent reaction. I am genuinely worried and do not want to be leaving the house to go to work.
