Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

47,612Members
1,358,869Posts
1,400,000Visitors

Started today

Unknown userMember08 Dec 2015, 6:42 pm AEDT

Started today

I started my medication last week. I don't feel at all in anyway different but I'll give it a few weeks to see if it's the pill for me and what my blood tests say about it. I'm still having my scary lows and awesome highs. I'm far from 100% happy about being on them and do not look at them at all in a positive light except the fact they will stop me being a hassle to my husband.

Have any of you had great reactions on them? Have you had to try a few or be on a few?

Any way in life I haven't slept in more then 4 hours a night for the last 3/4 weeks and can only stomach one meal a day. My body is physically in pain and my eyes are black and my brain is like so let's name every type of fish there are and what dish we should put it in and what drink would suit it! I've been given some sweet sleeping pills and they are doing zero! Tonight I take 3 tablets and see if that helps. All my friends are in pure shock they are not working as when they use them for traveling they are knocked out straight away.

I've also been getting bullied badly at work. They don't talk to me and death stare me sneaker in there groups. I'm a very nice person and try to be friendly but I get one word answers. But I over heard them talk the other day about bitching about each other and being mean to people so I decided I'm not even going to waste my time on them because they are purely nasty. But then today I had a rough day due to people being mean and I over heard the girls talking about me and was like Oi! What you girls are complain h and death starting me about is zero my problem and I'm unable to anything about it till my manager organises something. So stop with the death stares because that's just stressing me out for something that's no really my concern!

Sorry in a rambling. I'm just really flat.

18 replies

11 - 18 of 18

1 2

In response to: Started today

Unknown userMember20 Dec 2015, 12:01 am AEDT

Re: Started today

@Shimmer When I'm in a pure black mood I just text my husband and he rushes over and if he can't he will send someone and keep me on the phone the whole time. That's our strategy that I don't do anything crazy and at the moment doors have to stay open. Very annoying at times.

No small windows. I just feel so over the place and really up and down and on the verge of screaming at more people at work. I've actually got a I don't care about work attitude which is not me. But then again it's Christmas.

I saw my physcatrist and told him he it's not working but my second round of bloods came back great. So he wants me to keep at it for a few more weeks to see if it kicks in and if not back to the drawing board.

I'm coping by not stoping. If I stop I think and I can't think. I just go go go go. Two hours sleep and 11 hour working days. I can feel a massive breakdown coming though. Shall be interesting.

In response to: Re: Started today

AppleblossomSenior Contributor20 Dec 2015, 12:27 am AEDT

Re: Started today

Good to hear from you @Former-Member

Though not good you are so wound up. It is amazing what extremes humans can put themselves through.

I have known those couldnt care less moments ... but that you worl like a Trojan sayd so much positive about you ... I hope you can ease down gently and not with a big crash.

Take care.

In response to: Started today

Unknown userMember20 Dec 2015, 3:04 am AEDT

Re: Started today

@Mazarita thank you for thinking of me.
I'm still roller coasting. I'm doing crazy hours at work because I thought I could do it and I was so wrong. I'm burning and crashing fast. 6 more shifts left then I'm on holidays for two weeks.

Random question for everyone. Does anyone mainly with bipolar over think things and has really big reactions to things? Today our car tyre came off praise the lord when my husband was pulling into the drive way and the mechanic came to our house to look at it and told him Christmas came early because if that happened on a freeway which we where going to be on tonight the car would of went to the right most likely flip and take us out and anyone in our ways. One of the screws was not on right. And I'm blowing up about it! And I can't let it go. My husband has let it go and got to sleep but I'm sitting up concentrating on not being ill. And it's not even with big stuff like that. If a person is rude to me or my hair won't sit nice I just lose it in a bad way. But if I get even the slightlynes of good news I get as excited as a kid on sugar.

It's just doing my head in and I think this is a reason why I don't get people or connect to them.

In response to: Re: Started today

MazaritaSenior Contributor20 Dec 2015, 1:30 pm AEDT

Re: Started today

Hi @Former-Member,

Overthinking and overblown reactions to things have been my middle name, especially when I was younger. These days I keep in mind a lot that I am really aiming for balance in myself. I think back then I would really dive in more extremely to whatever I was feeling or thinking, as though that was something to be actively pursued to the very end. This got me in a lot of trouble. Aiming for balance doesn't stop me from still being extreme at times but these instances are not as severe as they once were and are easier calmed. I put this down to various forms of help I've received over the years, including medications.

I think it can make it difficult to connect with people when we are experiencing thoughts and emotions with high intensity, especially if there is anger involved. Some people may find us intimidating or exhausting to be around in those states. On the other side of it, I have found I can get unreasonably dirty on other people when I'm in a very dark mood, and withdraw from them. In my case this hasn't been the best foundation for relationships with people at all, but like you, I've still managed to have friends and partners anyway.

Good news about the blood test results going well. Still keeping my fingers crossed for you that the medication continues to kick in and give you more help. Glad that you will be getting a break from work very soon.

Kind wishes.

In response to: Re: Started today

AppleblossomSenior Contributor21 Dec 2015, 1:44 pm AEDT

Re: Started today

I still overthink things ... I think it is human and not necessarily sign of pathology .. but thats me .. we are called homosapiens for a reason ...sapientia is latin for wisdom or thought.

I am a lot older and rarely over-react these days ... we often mellow a bit as we age ... and it is a boon as it helps with the other problems of aging.

I do like reading your posts @Former-Member. Brave and gutsy are more the thoughts that come to mind when I think about you ... than bi-polar.

take care of yourself ... its a tough time of year.

In response to: Started today

Unknown userMember24 Dec 2015, 2:10 am AEDT

Re: Started today

@Mazarita I can fully relate to you when you said dirty on people. I sometimes let out my anger on others when I'm really angry because it makes me feel really good. I've learnt to stop that action though because it's not healthy and I just draw or run away from the situation. Hopefully I can find a easier technique soon. I've also noticed when I'm depressed I shut everyone else. I've lost a lot of friends and family this year, mainly new friends or people that don't understand me. My old friends though have stood by me and force me out of the house and text me funny stuff and just shower me with love.

As a kid and young teenager I use to have massive reactions to things. I would get super excited or sad and people would try and control both actions. In my late teen years I learnt to control it or mask it so people thought I was normal but the last few months it's just insane. I think I find it hard to conect with people because I think why don't you think like me. Why does this not anger you why does it not excite you. And because we don't show emotions the same I feel so distant. My husband says though he loves it because I get so passionate and commited to stuff and it's one of my best qualitys.

I'm hopeing this medication works to. I'm still not seeing much change but I am sleep deprived and had a break down on the weekend and cried at work. Was not a good weekend.

@Appleblossom I just find that I think things a lot more then most people. I replay the situation in my head then play different outcomes and this can go on for days. I just need to understand everything and figure it out. Mabye I'm a control freak.

Haha I'm just very honest and blunt. I got nothing to lose.

Hope you have a good no stressful Christmas

In response to: Re: Started today

MazaritaSenior Contributor24 Dec 2015, 9:59 am AEDT

Re: Started today

Hi @Former-Member. So glad to hear you have good friends who treat you well and stand by you. That's a big gift in life for anyone. Passionate people often attract others, especially when we are in our high energy, positive states, lol. Regardless of the treatment, I don't think the intensity in me has ever really gone away. But with the help I've received over the years, the feeling of being swung around inside myself like a rag doll has subsided a lot (though not completely), and the dark and destructive side of me has lightened up. Hope you have a good day with your husband tomorrow. Merry xmas in case you are not online.

In response to: Re: Started today

AppleblossomSenior Contributor25 Dec 2015, 5:35 pm AEDT

Re: Started today

Hi @Former-Member Hope today is going well with your husband.

it is amazing how different and similar people can be. Maybe if you dont feel the need to defend your response but can sit just sit with it ... when you are ready to understand the others with you in the situation ... you will find questions or things to say that bring out the why to thier differences and feelings. Sometimes we respond to the same thing in a different way too ... just because of timing or energy or other things at that moment.

It is good that you have good friends.

Passion and intensity can be wonderful qualities ... they can also be dormant in others ... a challenge to find ...

cheers

11 - 18 of 18

1 2