When the therapist is away....

Hey there @OhanaSystem 🙂

Interestingly your statement around bad about being honest evokes such an honest post! I like your honesty @OhanaSystem 🙂 I hear that you can find it difficult to speak your honesty at times, is that also directly related to helathcare professionals?

After reading your post it got me thinking about ways in which you feel most comfortable to share your honesty? Do you find it easier to write as apposed to speaking it? Something to perhaps think about. What can I do to help support myself to feel most comfortable to share this honesty I want them to hear.

Hope this helps in a small way 🙂

Hi @Former-Member, thank you for replying.

Honestly, I think I have trouble with saying I'm not fine anywhere but the internet -- and even there, it can be patchy. Anywhere people actually know me, probably, is the problem. And it's so *easy* for me to hide behind a facade, I'm really good at it.

I think I need to remind him that I'm no good at saying "I am struggling" until I'm hitting crisis.

@OhanaSystem

That's what I do, say that I'm not coping when my world's falling apart and my mental health is deteriorating.

Part of me wants/needs to feel in control and if that means lying by saying that everything's hunky dory and I can cope with everything, that's what I do.

And then I fall apart.

Doesn't help anyone, I know.

Thinking of you.

@NatalieS tjank you for your reply

I'm sorry you do this too! It's so hard sometimes. I just want to yell at myself because I know I needed to talk, and I"ve cheated myself out of the opportunity to do that for a whole other week, and now I don't know how to cope with that in a healthy way. Well, I do, but I don't know how to move past the ugliness to be willing to cope in a properly healthy way. All because I was too stubborn and 'me' to say, Steven, I need you to hear that I'm having a harder time than I've said, and if you have time, I could do with at least a quick catch up today.

Can relate @OhanaSystem @NatalieS though I hadn't really thought about it in terms of honesty. I sometimes don't want to acknowledge I'm struggling because then I'll completely fall apart. I don't admit it to myself and just struggle harder to try and make things how they 'should' be. Generally futile, if not counterproductive. I'm getting better are recognizing the signs and knowing when intervention is needed. At least you recognize it @OhanaSystem That's a start.

Hi @OhanaSystem, I can so relate to what you are going through. I am like this with lots of people and used to say the same to my psych. I think the first 3 months were wasting mine and his time because I would just say I'm fine.

I really struggled (and still do) to open up to people, but am getting better.

Pebbles is right about writing it down and that is how I started. Have you got their email address? I email my psych before our sessions with what I need to tell him, how I am travelling and anything I really want to discuss. This has helped me open up to him and allow him to help me in my journey.

Thanks @frog.

Yep, I definitely recognise it. Usually when I'm a little ways down the rabbit hole, though. My facade is so good it tricks me, too.
I can totally understand not wanting to say something in case it makes you totally fall apart. In my case, it's the opposite. Not saying it makes me totally come to pieces, generally, but I still can't bring myself to do it.

Tonight I am really kicking myself. I really needed that support because I've got some stuff going on in my head that I really need out of there. I need to talk talk talk talk. Not that I am very good at that but I needed to at least try.I am prepared with some poems for when he asks more on Friday about the upcoming trigger date/s I mentioned, at least.

Thanks @Snowie. Emailing is such a great idea! I might ask if I can do that with him, just while S is away, because she is more intuitive (by both position and nature, I think) in terms of understanding what "I'm fine" means. I have to be careful, though, because I have been caught before by material being "reportable" and a big kerfuffle over that where nobody was sure whether I was going to be forced to report stuff or not. In the end it worked out, but I don't want to go through that stress again. My usual is really good about making minimal notes to protect all her trauma clients in the event of reporting or whatnot.

Hey everyone. I struggle with being honest about not doing well/feeling well in myself. I usually just tell people “I’m fine”. Unfortunately, I’m so good at it people believe me. Even my doctor.

I’m so much more honest in writing. I just find it takes the pressure off finding the right words to say.

Hey @Annabelle4 likewise. I write better than I talk and often it's not till I do start typing away that I realize where I'm at. I would like to get into journaling because it would help me keep tabs on my state of being better. It's supposed to be an excellent way to monitor mood/triggers etc. So far, I have more immediate things to sort out and haven't started any regular writing. Basic self care comes first - sleep, eat, move, meditate.