Worn out

I have 17 year old son who hasn’t been to school for over 2 years due to anxiety. The mood swings are constant. He has been diagnosed with anxiety but also trauma that happened in his first 4 years of life. Has seen psychologists over the years so now believes he is beyond help. Have tried so many avenues of help and though he agrees to attend he always pulls out at the last minute saying they won’t help or sees someone once before saying they won’t help. Often says he wants to die to end the pain but whenever medical people ask him he says no. He rarely leaves the house and if he does he has major meltdowns in the process of getting ready. He struggles to decide what to wear or even eat never mind making any other decisions. He is on anti depressant that he wants to come off as he feels it isn’t working. Anytime they make any changes in medication or dosage he becomes extremely agitated, aggressive and has been taken by ambulance with police escort on several occasions to hospital where he has had to be sedated and each time they send him home a few hours later saying no beds available. A few times we have returned not even 24 hours later. My house is slowly being destroyed by him damaging things in anger. Things seem to build up over a week or so and then he explodes before things calm down for a few days. He is self medicating with marijuana as he feels this is the only thing that helps and says he wants medical marijuana but of course we can’t. I feel so alone. I have left several phone messages with his psychiatrist over the last 3 months and have not heard back from him. It is just me and him at home so of course everything is my fault according to him. I don’t know what to do now