Dealing with acts of kindness.

@Lemonjuice, I hope you're doing ok-ish today. Similarly to you, I have issues around dealing with acts of kindness from people, I'm suspicious of ulterior motives, because that was my childhood. I've been in therapy for 15 months with a woman who has only had my best interets at heart and I've slowly learnt to trust her: she has always been available for me to email or text between appointments if I need to, and she always responds as soon as she can. She acknowledges the ages and stages of my inner children, and asks what it is that they need. She'll sometimes give them small gifts - her office is like a child's paradise, with toys and happy things - Groot or Yoda beanie babies, a butterfly cape, a photo of her dog dressed in its Halloween costume (we all love dogs) and a funny mug. It has taken time to learn to trust her because she's a kind caring person. I've never had that before and initially would retreat from her acts of kindness, based on my fears of feeling threatened and wondering why she actually cares about me. I pay her a pittance, so she's not being kind for the money. Sometimes I try to analyse things too much. But I've come such a long way and am sooo thankful.

I wish you all the best. Hugs.

@Lemonjuice

So SORRY. I hit the wrong emoticon....it was supposed to be a HEART

@Lemonjuice, what you describe about where you see your therapist sounds very clinical, and with mental health it so often seems to be we are at the mercy of the system and places and finances and finding the right person for us, so not everything ticks all the boxes at the same time. I've had experiences with therapists and people who are in the caring professions who have set my mental health back into that black whirlpool, which has increased my anxiety and depression, but I am soo grateful for my current therapist. I am in a better head space now and know that I have a handful of people who really do care about me, and just perform random acts of kindness because they can, not expecting anything in return, which still blows me away. One part of me doesn't trust that that's possible and sometimes I wonder why they're still around. Are they lonely? Can't they find anyone else to talk to? Take care.

After seeing a psychologist for a few years my health cover changed and he agreed to see me pro bono for a while. It was in the days before psychologists were paid be Medicare. I was very grateful and he was just that kind of a guy. Into social justice issues and on committees.

Hello @Lemonjuice @NatalieS @Former-Member

The surroundings of the clinic can make quite a difference. I was more comfortable with a run down old couch and it helped me trust the therapist more than the squeaky clean leatherette new business look clinics.

Ten years ago a current psychologist left my local area because it was a noisy general practice, with crying children and people would bump against the door as they walked past. At first I thought she might be intolerant of the children. Later I saw her again in better quarters. I realised she was trying hard to listen to me/her clients.

There are so many angles when dealing with people; mh professionals or not.

I am glad the concept of random acts of kindness has taken traction. Sometimes the kind acts not random .. in that some people do it as a part of their personality or their set of values.