On a downward spiral again

Hi @Chris,

Its good to see you posting again and asking for connection when you need it, that takes guts

I understand from previous posts that you experience depression in bouts, is that right? does that mean that you know how this will go, down and up again? I am just wondering what was helpful for you last time?

I know you said that ACT and DBT therapies were at least a little helpful, although you are not going to your psychiatrist is there anything from those two therapies that you can use? wise mind, ACCEPTS, expansion....?

Does anyone else have any techniques that help for them?

Hello @Chris

I tend to agree with a lot of what you write. I am not sure what your private living arrangements are but it can make all the difference. Eg whether you need to meet real responsibilities or are able to focus on just meeting your own needs.

I often feel like that but at the moment I am able to take the space that I need. I have an end of the house to myself and only adult children.

Is there a way you can limit or contain your outgoings ...

With my neck issues the practitioners all wanted me to keep coming back for appointments but I came to believe that they were actually causing my spine to become overly mobile so in last decade I have opted for minimal intervention on that one ... one GP advised me not to go for surgery as I was a musician it was too dangerous ... I am glad I have chosen that and gradually came to manage physical condition with only minimal and good medical advice.

I think the same can apply to MI.

I have become aware that my depressive eposodes are cyclic. I guess this would fit in with the bi polar 3 diagnosis. But i now question as to the whether my medication is still effective. Guess that means a trip to my psychiatrist. However there is a problem with that. Since i last saw him my son has moved in with us and he has his two young girls every weekend. This does put me under alot of strain. Eighteen months ago my oldest son and his wife and daughter moved in with us for a year. During that time i was hospitalised twice. He blamed my breakdowns (his words) on them living with us. Im afraid he will say the same about my current situation. The thing is this situation is not going to change any time soon. I guess i always put my kids first at my own expense .

So at this point i am thinking about making an appointment . Guess with christmas comming up i need to decide sooner rather than later.

It seems to be coded in our DNA that we make those kinds of decisions ... and houses with 3 gnerations are not as common as they used to be ... and with the increase in child centred practices ... means that little one's are not as encouraged to consider the needs of older people in their environment.... unfotunately this can contribute to elder abuse and lines of demarcation are necessary.

Is there any way you can manage to not throw the baby out with the bath water so to speak? Define spaces and times for appropriate behaviours etc ... and not so that you are pathologised (whether or not you see shrink) but as appropriate in a communal household.

Spoiling and over indulgence of children doesnt seem to be helping society long term.

It would good to be able to take in the joyful aspects of having kids and grand kids around .. with respect all round ... how to achieve that ...??

I am just trying to respond @Chris in a down to earth manner. Does your son have some empathy for your situation?