Bastless and Odin

@Bast,bless you.

I'm always interested in hearing an update from you, @Bast. I am so glad Odin is settling in and learning how to be more affectionate towards you. Sounds like a great bond has started to form.

Sounds like the superhero in you is coming to the forefront when you need it the most (well done!).

Always here to listen...

Q

Hi @Bast,

Thanks for sharing this. Odin sounds like a loved and happy little creature. I also love your playful and brave approach to facing your demons. Hope to hear more of your super hero and fur friend adventures as they unfold 🙂

From,

C.

Hi all

Incredibly supportive and compassionate people, I thank you so much for all the kindess, support and compassionte feedback.

I am so gladdened and heartened to know I belong and am cared for. To empathise and care for another is the ultimate gift - and the giver is also a beneficiary.

I have read all of your posts and likes and know I have been helped in my journey to wear my undies on the outside. Another perfect phrase is no longer a doormat. To include a complimentary segue - A doormat is a wonderful place for my four footed children to preen and sleep - Purpose purchased at XMAS literally gifts to and from.

I am a work in progress - evolving from the harmed, hurt and limited little Bast is a very hard thing to do. To have been indoctrinated into the belief that I am the cause of great harm in-utero and blamed continuously for famiiliar issues is very hard to fight. Although, I do know now that the disgusting abuse was not because I deserved it, nor was the physical sibling and parental

@Bast, you always write such inspirational words. Continue to wear your undies on the outside and let that cape of yours billow in the breeze! No longer a doormat - I really like that analogy!

Hi all caring and supportive people

Just always be kind to you - after all you deserve it.

Odin is now demonstably free, he chills and relaxes wherever he likes or fancies on a given day. It is so glorious to watch him continue to rapidly develop. Odin is no longer the terrified obese cat that I have been blessed with. Odin has great grit, courage and determination. I so need my journey to echo his. I so enjoyed the high speed race (Icky Tony Abbott speedos this time) that was occurring around the stairwell involving a total of four sprinting and leaping furr babies. Considering Odin was very specifically determined to requre a one cat only household. For Odin, his previous life experiences had never allowed him to participate in the glorious sensitivity, autonomy and sheer joy of being a feline. I believe that Odin has learnt so much from my other rescues, much more than I could ever have given him.

Baby girl continues to endeavour to exert her authority as leader of the pack - cat girl outfit (Ertha Kitt) version is the perfect image, claws and all.

For me, the inspiration to grow and become continues to be constantly restricted. I attempt the completely and previously unknown assertiveness skill and experience escalating fear and self recriminations. However, some attempts have actually been successful. I don't very much like my Tony Abott look at all. I would very much prefer to simply re-adopt my doona is my friend and am struggling to drag myself through all the essential preparation to depart my house.

Apologies all, I actually believed that the introduction of new meds would simply "fix" me, I would be all sorted and the person so like Odin that I desperately want to be. Perhaps it's the Abbott undies thing that is really putting me off. I reiterate icky +++.

My practice ability appears to me to be inadequate and I cannot seem to stop the tirade of negative and hurtful beliefs that have been mine for decades now. Just a little break of sheer enjoyment and relief from the self consciousness and anhedonia would be wonderful. Perhaps it is about to occur. I have finally informed the union rep, no matter what his settlement plans may be, that I simply cannot deal with any more. I just need to resign and escape the umbilical cord that is continuing to strangle me after so many months. I am so grateful for all of his support although i recognise that the begging - please, please, please is so much a part of my childhood. The words don't hurt me were always included.

And now, here I come - grow and develop as Odin has done. I have inspiration living with me. The battle will continue, I am not quite as naive anymore, my days are again loaded with sadness.

To conclude on a better note, wow to I ever have experience at this. OK - catwoman bring it on.

With much love and many thoughts

Bastless and Odin.

To all - self compassion and care is deserved..

Today I undertook my practice for 4 sessions and then received an announced visit from client with partner. As always, I worked for them both and their relationship.

We all do what is right when we can.

I subsequently packed up my counselling room, as the podiatrist will utilise the room tomorrow am. I am OK with this as the mere thought of toe nail clippings and foot bits is very unpleasant. I stash all of my counselling decor as a result. I utilise comfort rugs, TB's, decorative throws and cushions to best ensure my client's are comforted. As am I.

Today I took the 35 minute drive for my own supervision. I returned the call to the Union Rep who has now stood by me and protected me since January 2017 - when the horror that is public health again started. Apparently it is perfectly fine to repeatedly discriminate against a staff member who has a disability - mental illness is apparently disgusting and warrants persecution.

I have now agreed to the terms of my resignation, the Union Rep wanted to take a stand for more. I am so appreciative of the work that has gone into this. The strangulation really took me to the depths again - it was at the point of no more.

I have a miracle offer of 9 weeks additional thanks to this marvellous person. Today, I accepted. I have accrued LSL also. My experiences with abuse in 1:1 supervision I finally disclosed, 12 other people have been through exactly the same. I am the only one left, not standing just swaying in the breeze. I can almost feel the escape, just not quite. I have likened this entire experience, abuse, Worsafe acceptance and subsequent reneging, conciliation and re-instatement to closing a book finally. I am now at the epilogue, just finish this page and the horror will be over.

I will have to find the courage of Odin somehow, to return and collect my personal belongings. Return my access pass and the phone. I do not want to be any where near this place as it still hurts so badly.

Talking openly with my Supervisor has helped.

However, I have had multiple plans for arranging support, for the return to this highly dreaded place and yet I will just go and do it. I am a worthwhile and capable person.

With many thoughts Bastless and Odin.

@TAB@Queenie@Former-Member@NatalieS@Dec@Utpoia

Hi TAB

Adore your image, makes me smile, rare and nice experience. And you get it ........I think I am well and truly beyond any aspect of shame though, just rampant distress and another round of glorious insanity. You are so right, the minute that the formal paprer work ( deed apparently) is completed, I will be able to do it (I hope) Far too many memories of being tortured and abused, make this very difficult.

What really matters is i irreplasible photos of my furrbabies there, so sadly photos of my much loved Bast. I fought for the right to have personal items on my desk. I had 2 plants that were gifts from clients. I don't think they will be anything other than sticks in a pot.

I will also have to do a rummage (actually why bother) if someone finds my +++permorfance development stuff - do I actually give a .....F

TAB - thank you - just so appreciative of the mind cleanse