My story and mental health research

Hello @garyking

A very warm welcome to the forums

Thank you for sharing your story! Glad to hear that you have fully recovered from your physical health issue.

It sounds like you are doing a lot to assist your recovery from anxiety and OCD, which is great. Having obsessive thoughts about the effects of ice would be awful and there has been a lot around lately on the TV and in the papers. I am wondering if your ERP and cognitive work is self-guided or if you are seeing a psychologist who is working through this with you?

In regards to your question about research, there is often research being conducted into anxiety and OCD through organisations and universities, however this is not always made public knowledge through the media, news etc. Treatments for OCD are what you have already described here, with CBT and ERP being one of the most researched treatments.

For mental health there are a number of neurotransmitters (chemicals) that have been hypothesised to be involved with symptoms, and the chemical can vary depending on the illness. While this can be part of the cause of a mental health condition, it does not necessarily mean that is the sole cause of the condition. Often other factors such as a genetic predisposition/family history of the condition, stressful life events, coping mechanisms etc play a role in whether a person will develop a mental illness or not. For anxiety and OCD, while there may be some chemical influence, it is often, most effectively treated with methods such as CBT due to the nature of the condition being strongly influenced by thinking pattern. While medication can help in reducing the feeling of anxiety, it often does not change the way you think. This is when other methods such as CBT allows you to understand the connection between your thoughts and the way you feel and aims to change your thought patterns to more helpful ones.

What have been other people’s experiences? Perhaps @Matty, @Tim_H, @kenny66, or @Denv12 have some helpful tips they may be able to share with you?

Look forward to ‘seeing; you around the forums soon @garyking

Rockpool

Thank you for the reply. I am currently doing self treatment. I have seen couple of psychologists before with some help. Last psychologist I have seen wasn't very helpful in addressing my core problems. Yes I picked up obsessive thoughts and worry about drugs after recent media coverage on it. It made me panic and worry a lot. So I am going through exposure without doing compulsions. I am trying my best and everything humanely possible but for some reasons I don't feel very confident of full recovery. As I like to dring tea atleast once a day, giving up tea is difficult for me as I enjoy it. Unfortunately I didn't cope very well and didn't get required family support during my illness. This caused me to ruminate more, depress and feel edgy.

Just wanted to say hello to everyone and see how is everyone else going??

Hi @garyking, welcome to the forums. I can't remember a time when I haven;t struggled with mental illness, but I have been pretty high functioning often. The OCD only really strongly kicked in for me in the past 5 years or so after a bullying episode, I had anxiety before that, and bi polar (undiagnosed for the majority of my life).

I am always thinking, and one thing that has helped me is mindfulness, becoming the observer of my thinking. Trying to catch 'who is doing the thinking" and just observing, not buying into the gnarly critic. It's hard to do that, staying in the present helps alot too.

CBT has helped me alot, I am on medication, and the CBT helps me recalibrate my own view of how I see the world, clarify my values, create a toolkit for when things are getting tough, goves me the opportunity to explore goals etc. I have not found JUST medication to be enough at some times, I dip in and out of psychological counselling and assistance, not there all the time, learn some things apply them, get onb with life, then when I fall over again seek more help. Works for me.

I could not operate with out coffee personally. I probably shouldn't have as much as I do. Coffee keeps me moving and getting things done.

Anyways welcome hope you find much to relate to on the forums.

PS: wonder if your name here is real, 'cos it is suggested we use psuedonyms for anonymity's sake, I think it can be changed in "my settings"in case you want to.

Hi @MoonGal, thank you for your response. Yes I have been practising quite number of things including mindfullness. I definitely realise that just medication isn't answer. Hence I am trying my best to be mindful, walking and physical activity. Great to see that you're able to take coffee as for myself I can't even dream of taking coffee as it worsens my symptoms. Hence I take some mild black tea.

However, what I have noticed is that I am quick to attach things that I see around me with obsession or fear that I am having at that time. I have been obsessed with this fear or drugs (ice) and all for few months now. This means for example if I am driving and if I see some broke and weird looking guy with old car my mind will automatically relate him to drug use and so on. It's so difficult for me to break this pattern of negative thinking. This thinking pattern does seem to get easier to manage with medication that I am currently taking. It's quite difficult to be NOT judgemental.

What I want to know from other members on this forum if anyone else experiences this kind of thinking? Is this something like ANT's (automatic negative thoughts)?? Currently I am very cautious with taking medication as I don't want to over do it and go through several withdrawal symptoms. Does anyone else find themselves taking some tea or coffee and feel alright. Just want to know your experiences.

Have a great weekend..!!

thanks,

Hello @garyking

I have acute anxiety and depression and can be obssessive and have some repetitive thought patterns. My practise of music helps because it requires repetition.

I deal with it mainly through a CBT type approach and meditation.

Regarding substances ... its best if we dont start that cigarette .. I am quite different to you ... I did smoke etc but managed to give it up ... I maintain a healthy lifestyle now .. I drink herbal tea and like @MoonGal proabbaly too much coffee.

I also have the opposite type of thought regarding homelessness ... as I saw it a lot, experienced it and my father experienced homelessness very early on in our lives ... I dont think judgementally about it, at all ... my heart heaves when I see people like that and I tend to find excuses for them, often try to help them and wonder at the sequence of events that occurred for things to get that bad.

The different "automatic" thoughts are probably based on our different early experiences ... but similar in the sense that they are often like knee jerk reactions. As I get older I have found that some people respond to help well, others are not ready for it or dont know how to get it and keep consistently well.

There are very real dangers in society but as you are already careful about health and nutrition, illicit drugs are probably not the biggest issue.

Hi garyking,

I have obsessive thoughts about the drug ice as well. I've had OCD since childhood (now 35). Over 10 years ago now I actually took the drug, since then I've had the thought 'what if it's still in my mouth' 'how do I know it's worn off'. The compulsion being to lick my licks etc.

ERP/CBT and medication has helped, but the symptom is still strong today. I have secondary thoughts i.e. what if I got addicted to the drug, would I be homeless etc.

One thing that has helped is understanding the neuroscience/physiology of OCD, 'Brain Lock' is a great book to read on this topic. The more I understand OCD the easy it is to live with. But there's no doubt it's tough...

Good luck

@Tim_H thank you for seconding me and sharing your story..atleast I am not alone with such thoughts. Just the thought of "what if I get addicted to something like ice" is what get's me hard. Train of thought won't stop there and I will start worrying about future, life, job etc. etc. I have never done anything like it but constant worry is always there. I must have picked up this worry after watching some advert or news on drugs. Anything into future is shadowed by these thoughts and worry in back of my mind. Perhaps it's not just anxiety but depression too which causes me to have such thoughts.

Also in my situation I don't see any compulsions either. Atleast not any clear physical compulsions. Currently, I am engaging in physical activity like walking, sports along with taking medication daily. I can see pretty huge difference with medication as I am not ruminating that much, quite happy and more productive. I can right now dring a cup of tea which I couldn't before, which I really enjoy.

Overall I am trying my best to be optimistic and happy.

Edit: Will check out this book too..thanks

@Tim_H, @garyking, @Appleblossom
What a great conversation. When I first read garyking's comments I did not overly identify with the OCD component (although I do live with OCD) and then as each of you unpacked it more I got to thinking - always dangerous! - but I have done so much 'work' on this aspect of my mind / brain that I am much less afflicted by obsessive thought patterns now.

I learned to 'jump the track'. As an analogy - the negative, rumanitive or obsessive thought becomes like a groove in a record (you know those old vivyl things that went round and round on a turntable - yep I'm old). The more I obsessed about a particular thing , and many other 'triggers' could chuck me into that groove, the deeper the groove got, the harder it was to jump the track. Nowadays, I am MUCH better at 'catching myself thinking". This is a mindfulness technique. Observing the thought and doing nothing with it, just acknowledging - "oh, there is a thought" - or just saying with the calm, centred part of me - you are "thinking", no judement good or bad at that point just 'notice' it.

I used to have an obsessive thought pattern that either my dog, or my partner was going to be murdered, and this was excrutiatingly terrifying and distressing. I couldn't shake it. Partly what helped was a conversation with my psychologist at the time (a CBT) approach and substituting the thought when it arose for a different, benign and helpful IMAGE that knocked the Obsessive thought train off it's tracks.

The other thing that was VERY helpful was a technique provided for me by a doctor I saw to try to stop smoking. I never did stop smoking, but it was worth the visits to have THIS life-saving, sanity saving tool.

Obsessive thought (or PTSD replay)
Imagine the incident or OCD scenerio is playing out on an old B&W TV with video controls.
Watch it playing on screen, really watch it from the observer part of yourself.
Pick up the remote control (in your minds eye) and start to take control of the 'video' playing in your mind.
Fast forward it, rewind it, watch it again, keep playing it then press 'pause"
When you have control of the imagery and 'video'.
Press OFF and watch that screen blink to black.

WHen you have practiced this alot - you no longer need to do all the 'watching" you just notice that the obsessive thought is happeneing or the PTSD replay is on - and you can just mentally press the OFF switch.

I still get obsessive if I am running rough, feeling unwell physically, or very stressed about something, but I have these "imaginary" thought substitutes and tools ready to pull out and overlay or turn to OFF the old obsessive thought.

Science and research are definitely important when it comes to mental illness but I think at times we as people can be caught up in "chemical imbalances" and other medical jargon we don't understand. Anxiety itself occurs naturally in us. Though its intensity can be alarming and scary, I think it's acceptance that it is naturally occurring and not a foreign body that we need to be "rid of", that can make all the difference. Acceptance can be huge in recovery, as well as the right medication for some. I found by reading widely about depression, anxiety and bipolar disorder (3 illnesses I have been diagnosed with), not just books written by doctors, but other non-mainstream books, that there is a lot of different paths to so-called "happiness". I'm not saying to disregard mainstream knowledge, but not to dismiss "non-mainstream" ideas. In summary, keep an open mind, keep trying. Sometimes its something unorthodox that helps us,