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Daughters attempted

DotsSenior Contributor

Daughters attempted

Hi
I've been wanting to talk to all you carers to say my daughter attempted suicide last week. She's been treated for four years for depression and emerging BPD. I'm seeing my psyche tonight. Haven't needed to see him for over a year. We've managed really well lately so this came as a shock.
I just need reassurance that others have got through this.
I don't want to tell anyone because I haven't got the energy to manage their emotions, nor do I want to be responsible for them feeling distressed.
Her brother and sister are struggling.
Just a few words of "you'll get through this" is all I need right now.
xx

63 replies

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In response to: Daughters attempted

Unknown userMember

Re: Daughters attempted

I don't think you are being defeatist @silhouette, rather a realist and that reality is our loved ones do have conditions that are terminal by way of self harm if not adequately treated (and sadly sometimes at times even if they are).

I certainly needed the wake up call that one pdoc gave me to 'look things up' and I thank God he did. Having some understanding made a heck of a difference. Just as you can live well in spite of asthma, I learned we can live well in spite of Mr D's mental illness. (Don't know Mr D has quite reached that conclusion yet..)

In response to: Re: Daughters attempted

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor

Re: Daughters attempted

@silhouette ....I have tagged you from the Carers Hint and Tips thread, but linking it here too for anyone else reading this thread who might want to visit.

When I first contacted eat8ng disorder support services, that was one of the first things said to me @Former-Member ..... learn as much as you can, because you need to understand what this thing is, how it thinks, what it does .... fore-warned is fore-armed .... and that message was repeated everywhere within this particular support industry, time and again.

I am so glad it is ..... because it’s a labyrinth otherwise.

In response to: Daughters attempted

DotsSenior Contributor

Re: Daughters attempted

My daughter sees her psyche and is functioning pretty well....touch wood. I spent the weekend away visiting friends and family and that was so great. Left my daughter at home with her dad and brother. What a relief to have a few days away. I took a deep breath before I opened the door on my return and felt the angst and worry return. But I have to keep realising that I can't change her. I can only love and respond. We're doing ok, and in my books, "ok" and "boring" are aspirational.

In response to: Re: Daughters attempted

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor

Re: Daughters attempted

So glad to hear you managed some time-out @Dots .....

In response to: Re: Daughters attempted

DeterminedSenior Contributor

Re: Daughters attempted

@Dots trust things continue to go ok for you and your family.

In response to: Daughters attempted

Unknown userMember

Re: Daughters attempted

When suicide is a possibility you cannot be there 24/7. MY advice is

get her into a safe place immediately, someplace like a respite center

or a psychiatric hospital or a behavior health ward of an acute care hospital in

a major metro area.

In response to: Re: Daughters attempted

dideohContributor

Re: Daughters attempted

Since my daughter's first attempt in April last year, I have been excluded from any information regarding her welfare and treatment because of "confidentiality". She is nearly 40 but she is still my daughter who is extremely ill yet I cannot be told anything. She believes that I am a terrible mother who does not respect her or show her love and caring therefore I am banned from any information. Any attempt I make to explain my side of a situation is always met with rejection. I finally found out from her today who see is seeing and that her psychologist has suggested that I must be autistic because I am such an uncaring unempathic mother. I don't whether to be relieved or appalled that she is receiving some counselling.

In response to: Re: Daughters attempted

DotsSenior Contributor

Re: Daughters attempted

Thanks @Determined for keeping in touch. Things are still going ok. I worry so much about her future. How she's going to earn money. Support herself. She is still trying to finish her year 12, for the third time. This is the furthest she's got. And we are really hoping she will finish. I've been meditating but some days, and I know everyone on this forum would agree, the worry creeps up. Tonight I can't sleep. Good luck everyone with tomorrow. May we have the collective energy to support, find humour and joy.

Thanks for listening x

In response to: Re: Daughters attempted

DotsSenior Contributor

Re: Daughters attempted

Hi @Determined checking in. It's been a few months. Not sure how the days blend in together. I'm so tired with worry still. No more attempts but lots of discussion from my daughter around wanting to end things. How on earth are you all managing? I'm going away tomorrow for 10 days. I think I'll be worried the whole time I'm away. Gotta get back to some mindfulness and meditation. I coped much better when I was doing that regularly.

Thanks for listening.

In response to: Re: Daughters attempted

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor

Re: Daughters attempted

Hi @Dots Hearing you too ..... I hope you can manage some mind-rest while you are away. When the going is tough it is important to increase your own self-care as much as possible under your circumstances ..... the carer needs caring for too, and it’s often us caring for us, as well as those we love. Sending virtual hugs. 💐💕
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