My Son has taken to drinking on a serious level.

Hello @Nes

Welcome to the Forums and thanks for sharing a bit of your story. I’m sorry to hear how difficult things have been for you and your son. It’s great to hear that you believe in him and feel hope for his recovery.

We ask members on the Forums not to publish any content that could be interpreted as medical advice, which includes recommending specific practitioners. However, if anyone would like to suggest an organisation or service that has been helpful for them, e.g. the SANE Helpline, that is OK. Sorry if that’s confusing! You can read more about it in the Community Guidelines.

An organisation that comes to mind which might be of interest to your son is headspace. Has he been involved with them at all? I believe there are also some early psychosis programs run through the public health system in WA. You might be able to find out about these by looking up your local Primary Health Network.

There are lots of other loving and committed mums here on the Forum who might be able to relate to your experience or share some tips of their own: @Esme has posted here about caring for her daughter and @2853 has posted here about her son. I believe @Former-Member, @Faith-and-Hope and @Former-Member also have experience supporting their children through challenging times.

All the best @Nes and please keep posting

Thank you so much @Former-Member

you are the first person to acknowledge me as a carer of my son who might be able to help others..

I have not really fitted anywhere because he is missing..

so thank you again for validating my painful experiences and feeling that I might be of help..

@Nes

I will respond later when My mind is clearer..I want to respond ..just need to get off of here for now..

Hi @Nes

Sorry to read of your heartache and devastation- yes I can relate well. It's a wonderful thing to have hope as it will help strengthen us to see it through to better days.

My daughter has been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and bi-polar and has suffered such since 16 years old (she will be 22 in April). This was triggered by sexual assault (she was raped) and from being involved in a very absuive relationship about one year ago. She has self medicated in the past which made everything worse and very occasionally still does but has strengthened and improved a lot. She is presently in the stage of giving up smoking, touches very little alcohol as she learnt that interacts with her medications and makes her a lot worse. We thought at one stage it would never get better so please know that your hope is not in vain.

Getting help for our loved ones who struggle with alcohol/substance abuse can be tricky as being adults it really is up to them to decide to quit and want to learn healthier ways to cope. So the best we can do is encourage and advise. They need to want help. We did everything we could for years to support our daughter with wiser choices this way and others but she would not listen. We eventually had to step back and let her live her own life and learn from her choices. It took for her to reach rock bottom before she was willing to seek help. Heartbreaking to watch but we were always there to pick up the pieces and to let her know how much we loved her, together with setting boundaries with her. It was very hard, downright devastating at times but we are getting there.

My daughter has finally agreed to attend sexual assault counselling and is in the process of seeking out a psychologist as well. She is now taking the right medication - all the latter has helped her. She still has a way to go but is coping better. Does your son undergo counselling? and does his medications agree with him?

There is a group called "Alcon" that you can google in your area that can advise and support family members whose loved ones are struggling with alcohol abuse. There are also mental health support groups for sufferers who struggle with addictions also - but your son would have to want to attend. Also perhaps try and contact the Mental Health Carers support group Australia, as they may know of services that can help you and your son that I am not aware of.

Hoping it will get better for you all very soon. Sending a warm hug 🤗

Hello @Nes

your son was diagnosed last year with paranoid schizophrenia ...has he been medicated since?...you mention that you believe that he is over the worst of it....is he receiving any therapy from a psychiatrist or psychologist?

If he is better he might have been diagnosed early enough and medication has helped...perhaps only having one psychotic episode...

delusions or unusual behaviour apparent? as in paranoia believing being persecuted..?.

self medication and smoking is a sign of there still being an underlying problem..

He is an adult which means that he has the right to make choices about his treatment...

He has to want to make change himself...He has to recognise that the alcohol is further harming his mental health...with greater risk of paranoid schizophrenia returning and not leaving...

the hardest part of all of this is setting boundaries of what is and what is not acceptable within your home...yes it is the pits...he might see reason if told he has to leave if alcohol drinking not stopped..

most important now is for you to have some support...believe me when I was told this the first few times...I had this screaming response in my head you have got to be kidding...my son is the most important thing..he is the one suffering...I need to help him ...be there for him...

yes that last part is correct ...you can only do that effectively by looking after your own health...

my health has deteriorated rapidly...I used to be healthy and very fit for my age...have my own mental issues..these were exacerbated by the chain of events following my son's diagnosis and eventual disappearance..some contact made by him when needing money ...much verbal abuse and abusive texts..

so please ring carers mental health australia and get some support for you...then find out the laws in your state re mental health act...

keep on writing on here..

you will find these forums...will help keep your head just above water level..when noone else listens...

thank goodness you have found us here...

Mohill, thank you firstly for replying. I am so sorry to hear your son is missing! Your story sounds very similar to mine, with your health and mental health issues etc. it takes a toll for sure!

Can I ask did you get counselling for yourself through Carers?

Yes, I just let him look at your response which took him aback but made sense. He is definitely improving, however I do agree he is self medicating. He had an appointment with his psychiatrist this morning who just told him to cut back. I will get on to making a firm appointment ( if he agrees) to get some more help. Thank you for your welcome I hope you get contact with your son and we can also keep in touch. 🙏🏻

“Thank you so much for replying Enigma, I appreciate it. Yes I do have hope and looking at statistics it is truely possible for someone to recover. My own doctor explained her friend also a GP. has a son who went through something similar, and was diagnosed with the same. He is now functioning normally without meds. has a family and is working.

My son was messed around initially, has a psychotic episode was admitted to hospital ( drug tested etc. ) was shown to have nothing in his system as he doesn’t like drugs. Then was given a small dose of medication and dismissed without anything. As you can imagine the wheels fell off around two weeks after. After many failed attempts we now have a fantastic psychiatrist and he is back on more suitable medication. He knows he is drinking too much and feels he can reduce down himself. I am looking for a referral now and have contacted two psychologists. I thank you as it was so lovely to relate to someone else.

I am so happy for you that your daughter is doing well, it must be so encouraging for all of you to see her becoming better, and so lovely to hear!

It is so heartbreaking as a parent as we imagine ( I mean I did as a new mum, sorry to generalise) everything is going to be so perfect for them. I remember last year seriously thinking I would never recover from the shock and howled for two weeks thinking my heart was broken and ‘I’ would never recover.

I felt there was a change in me on a cellular level due to the shock of it all. I am better now, not fully but definitely better ( I’m not making about me but thought I would explain). We moved and I think getting him out of his environment ( he was king hit and traumatised) has worked wonders, we actually moved state.

I hope to keep in touch. Can I ask where abouts you are?

Sending hugs back to you☺️”