catching up

I know, sorry my angel, i should have let you go to sleep earlier, i will be thinking of you tonight.

Thank you so much for helping me distract, you are an awesome friend, thank you for everything today.

Good night, only good dreams tonight Karen!!!!

Big hugs

Jacques

@Jacques I am very slow at learning about the trust thing.

Recently I have figured out that trust means that person has behaved in a way that has earned the trust ... and also that it is important for it to be specific .... so I have trust in you that you will reach out to others and be ethical, polite and caring ... to others and to me ... thanks

I dont trust you to win the lottery and give me half the prize money ... probably cos you would never buy a ticket in the first place.

Hi Sweet @Appleblossom,

Thank you for dropping by, yes i can imagine with the tough life you have had, we have both been burned by people in the past and that makes trusting so much harder. i have never thought of trust to be specific, i etiher trust someone or i don't, but i do understand what you mean, to me it takes a very long time to earn my trust, but once a person does, they are trusted for life, maybe that is my problem, i have trusted people too long.

I really respect you @Appleblossom, you are a wise, caring woman, you are the first religious person i have met that is not full of hate, i thank you for that, you have shown me not all religous people are aweful. I have enjoyed reading how your choir is going, thank you for posting updates.

Oh the lottery, i do buy tickets every now and again, for the big draws. if i ever won, i would care for my family doing it tough, and donate the rest to the homeless, i am so upset to see how they are treated in Aus.

Please sing a christmas carol for me if you get a chance. 🙂

Jacques

Thanks @Jacques a lady primal therapist ... started to teach me about trusting that .. eg accountants and mechanics and children ... to all act differently. The actual feeling of trust within me is still tricky.

I am not really that religious a person @Jacques. I dont think in the manner of a pious person .. I am too academic ... I am more of a person who has an interest in society, culture and comparative religions .. I have been abused by the ignorance of religion ... I challenge dogmatic statements .. and see part of my role as cleaning up the church ... but without the delusions of grandeur (I hope) that I might be a new Teresa of Avila ...

When I first went to the Aust Catholic Uni to study music ... I went there cos my back was too bad for me to do it at my old uni .. and I knew people there through my mother

I have plenty of anger that comes and goes ... but I try not to act out of hate. I am troubled by my anger ... but also understand it .. as part of what has given me energy, drive and kept me alive. I understood my brother and sister's anger too, and saw fairly clearly how it became turned against "the self" ... and see that as the tragedy of self harm ... I am more angry now than I was when I was a girl or young woman., but I also have more resources and outlets.

I sing carols cos I WISH the christmas message was true .. not because I believe it is true ... and I dont know what else to do ... it keeps me anchored ... the atheists and the other religions havent really come up with anything better ... I argue with the creed etc etc etc.

Thanks for letting me drop in for a cuppa

Hi @Appleblossom,

Yes i understand now, it taes a very long time for me to trust, and i don't know it i have managed to restore my faith in humanity enough to trust completely.

You are a wonderful person @Appleblossom, as i see it, religion means different things to different people, each person has their own expperiance of what religion means to them, you keep going on your quest @Appleblossom, it is a nobel one.

Yes, i know the power of anger and hate, i still struggle with it myself, i know the power of anger keeping you going, it has kept me alive for 14 years, the anger and hate is so strong still, but i am trying to learn to control it, and channel it. Maybe you can channel your anger in your Piano, i know some stuff from Strauss and Dvorak, and Vivaldi are very powerful, maybe you can channel that anger into the song instead 🙂

Yes, i love the Christmas Carols too, i watch them on TV from Sydney and Melbourne.

I hope you enjoyed your Tea. 🙂

Be safe, Take care

Jacques

Hi My angel,

Well it is another Day, i am goign to be here to support you, you where an awesome friend yesterday, and i hope i can be just as good friend to you.

Make sure you remember to breath, and if things become overwhelming go outside, take a deep breath and call lifeline. i will hold your hand all day, i will even crouch down so you have a shoulder to rest on 😄

Take care my angel, i will burn an insense for you, smell the sandlewood Karen 🙂

Big hugs my friend.

Jacques