catching up

It is good that mum`s friend came, did your mum hurt her self , i hope not

Take care my friend , wish i was there to help you , keep in touch , i will br thinking of you

No she is ok, both her legs cramped and she could not bend them to get up and she eventually fell off the bed, i hate seeing her like this, it devistates me that she has to triple her medication to help out someone who will not help themselves. but it is not my house i am just a border here, so i have no say.

i am fighting SI urges again, it is so hard not to let go, i just want to be at peace, life is just too hard for me. it always has been and always will be.

i am trying to isolate as best i can, but not being too sucessful at it as they keep comming into my room 😞

@Jacques

Hang on.

I am really glad that your mum wasnt too badly hurt.

How is your plan for turning the shed into your retreat going? maybe it will take time, but keep heading for it. You have the right to a safe haven, even as a boarder.

I can understand you are upset that your mum has taken meds to keep the peace and be generous to her sister. Who is older?

Hi my princess,

It is ok, i am distracting, i am just overwhelmed and scared. just chatting with me and being with me is enough my angel 🙂

How are you tonight? how are the girls? are they still upset?

Do you mind if we snuggle a bit, i just want to be close to you. what can we chat about tonight?

I had to put up some new cornice today, i did an ok job, it is where the water was leaking, the roof is so badly water damaged, i think i am going to have to replace some of the beams when i fix the roof.

So that is probably why your mum is more responsible. @Jacques There can be a lot of difference between siblings with that age gap. Try not to get involved, let them work it out.

Ask for your privacy with your aunt, reassure her that you have your ways of coping and try and have meals together that are civilised.

With my son, he has his own room and has always been particular about privacy. So I respect it and usually knock etc.. But I may have overindulged it a bit too , so that is partly why the forum has been helpful for me. I respected everyone's elses needs and kept getting more isolated.

Glad to hear that you are back at your house @hiddenite and that it is all coming together.

Yes, you are right, but sometimes i need to step in to stop mum totally losing it, to calm the situation before one of them says something they will regret. it is so tiring and draining, i hate being in the middle of peoples relationships.

My aunt does not know or care i am suicidal, but mum is really concerned, i think she is scared she will wake one day and i will be gone. i hate putting her through that fear but i don't know how else to deal with it, i am just tired of having to fight all the time for peace, it has been 15 years now, i still have not found it.

I am glad you and your son have boundries and you both respect each other, it is a rare quialty to have these days.

Sometimes i wish i had a partner who i could go to to get away from my life, but i can't go anywhere because of my seperation anxiety, i seem to always be backed into a corner because of my anxiety.

i am trying so hard to keep safe, this forum has kept me going for the past year, and i am thank ful to you all.

Hi My angel,

I hope you are ok, i hope i don't scare you with my thoughts, i know they are only thoughts and i don't have to act on them.

you make me feel safe and i feel free with you.

hugs

Jacques x