catching up

Hi my sweet angel,

Things are not good here, mum is throwing up all her food, she has not been so stressed since looking after my father when he was ill, mum is under so much stress, i hope she can handle it, i felt so helpless she has a rash all over her and now this, i hope it is not down to how i am going to handle my aunt being here.

I hope you had a nice day my angel, i was thinking about you often, i hope this will be a turning point for you Karen, i don't want to see you harm yourself any more, i could not bear it, you mean to much to me, i know you can't promise me you will keep safe, but at least try.

hugs my angel, i am about to have a nice hot shower, be back soon 🙂

Jacques

I know how hard it must be my angel, but it is only temporary, i wish she would treat you better, it really upsets me you are such a beautiful, kind and caring person, you deserve the same back.

Did she say something to you my angel? or is it because she has to be with you?

I am so glad you got some rest, i know how much you are struggling, but please think of me when you are low, you have a reason to live now. just focus the moment and focus on your future goals.

Karen, do you think you could manage going for a little walk tomorrow? i think some fresh air would do you the world of good. think of us holding hands while you walk.

Oh my angel, that is no good, do you wear the patella strap? it might be an idea to get some crutches to ease the load on your bad leg.

Oh that will be great, i hope the builder can get it all right, i am so excited for you my angel.

Oh no Karen, you can't, not again, why is she being so cruel? please Karen, i beg of you please don't go, or stay in a caravan park or motel, you can't keep doing this, one day it will push you too far, i am so scard for you my sweet princess, i would never hurt you that way, how can she do this to you, you where so horribly violated their, i just don't understand.

Karen, my sweet princess, i will be here every night helping you through it if you go their, you will not be alone and you will feel loved for once, i will make sure of it.

Karen, yes i think it is the meds working out of your system, but i also think you have been so exhausted for so long your body has just had enough, it needs rest. please listen to it, rest when you need, listen to your body it knows best.

my sweet angel, i am ok, just scared, for me and for mum, i don't want to tell you what will happen if something happens to mum, i just wish things would go back to the way they where, mum and i where so happy, the first time in almost 20 years. i am tired, i did not get to sleep last night until 3 am, i layed their all that time with the biggest smile on my face watching the stars, thinking of you sleeping.

please my angel, look at the pic when it comes up, they are specially for you my angel, a cuddle goes with them too 🙂

I know things change, i know i can't control things, i am just scared.

Oh my angel, that is so sweet, i know you will, i am trying so hard to make sure you don't need to, i don't want to ever lose you either.